In A Woman of No Importance, Wilde reveals another mother character that loves her son so much, although Mrs. Arbuthnot is not a very lovable character in the play.
In Kohl’s words, Mrs. Arbuthnot “does not even attempt to acquire social recognition,
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but always stays within her role as an outsider, though this is qualified by her image as a ‘good woman’”(209). Mrs. Arbuthnot seems to be a possessive single mother who relies on her son a lot. In the play, Lord Illingworth claims that he considers the mothers of the other people “always bore [him] to death” (Act II, p.103) after Gerald says that he wants to introduce his mother to Lord Illingworth:
LORDILLINGWORTH. . . . All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy.
MRS.ALLONBY. No man does. That is his. (Act II, p.103)
Lord Illingworth’s statement sounds pretty interesting when we connected it to Nancy Chodorow’s theory. The daughter would learn to be a mother, and the son will approve his father. “A girl does not simply identify with her mother or want to be like her mother. Rather, mother and daughter maintain elements of their primary relationship which means they will feel alike in fundamental ways” (110). Also, “boys fantasize about and idealize the masculine role and their fathers, and society defines it as desirable” (185). Thus, Gerald is different from Lady Windermere, not only because they are from the different play, but because of their gender.
Gerald is from a single parent family in A Woman of No Importance, but he has a man’s potential of pursuing success. That is to say, Gerald has a dream of making achievement. When Gerald meets Lord Illingworth, he finds himself being identified with another male. The sense of finding the same species gives Gerald the feeling of gaining some sense of security. When Lord Illingworth offers Gerald the working opportunity, Gerald catches this chance to achieve his goal. Men tend to reach their goals and they are exterior with the outer world so that they can connect with the world individually. The operation of men’s growth is definitely different from female.
Thus, mother-son relationship is systematically separated from the mother-daughter relationship. Gerald is finding a model of the male to follow since he does not have
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any. He longs to find a model to learn and to imitate because he is lack of the father’s company. Lord Illingworth is the one who can show Gerald the world and give instructions because he is humorous, knowledgeable and charming. “Although the father represents reality to the child, he is at the same time a fantasy figure whose contours, because they are less tied to real object-relational experiences for the child, must be imagined and are often therefore idealized” (Chodorow 80). As a special person who is not at home consistently but apparently important to the mother, the father becomes “an object of attraction” (80). To Gerald, meeting Lord Illingworth makes him feel the passion of being a mature man. After Lord Illingworth knows Gerald is his son, he actually gives him the attention as a father. The father does not regard the child as a baby but as an adult who can do things together. Therefore, comparing to the mother, the father sees the child as an object or toy which can be toss or lift up highly. By contrast, the mother would just hold and cuddle the child (Chodorow 81). Gerald regards Lord Illingworth as his reality, that Lord Illingworth symbolizes the adult world, such as money, reputation, maturity, and the sense of independence. Therefore, although Gerald is brought up by Mrs. Arbuthnot, he longs to learn something from a man (father), rather than from his mother.
When Lady Hunstanton introduces Mrs. Arbuthnot as a helper in the church, the audience could only suggest that this is a woman who devotes herself in the charity.
Mrs. Arbuthnot, according to Lady Hunstanton’s information, is feminine and good, but her image is still mysterious and ambiguous. The audience could only know that she always helps the Archdeacon in the church by doing the charity works. After Mrs.
Arbuthnot confirms the fact that her son’s father is going to be Gerald’s director, she tenderly requires Gerald’s attention and wants to stop Gerald/herself from getting closer to Lord Illingworth. Gerald does not feel his mother’s uncomfortableness;
instead, he is excited and just wants to introduce Lord Illingworth to his mother. He
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ignores his mother’s request that she doesn’t feel well and wants to go home to get some rest. Gerald sinks in the happiness and aggressive desire of climbing to the success. Gerald is not sensitive at all, and he does not see through his mother’s heart that his mother certainly dislikes his new job. Mrs. Arbuthnot heartlessly rejects Lord Illingworth’s friendly greetings and wants to cut off Gerald’s admiration towards Lord Illingworth by self-depreciating in an ironical way and claims that her son has nothing in common with Lord Illingworth. However, Gerald speaks for Lord Illingworth and claims that Lord Illingworth knows more about life than anyone he has ever met; even though he is just a young man, he wants to learn from Lord Illingworth (Act II, p.103). Gerald likes Lord Illingworth, even though he does not know Lord Illingworth is his father, but the more he spends time with Lord Illingworth, the more he feels that Lord Illingworth is a man that he can follow.
Men tend to pursue the exterior success and achievement instead of staying at home. In the society, the men would work hard to create their sense of security.
Chodorow indicates that “[a] boy gives up his mother in order to avoid punishment, but identifies with his father because he can then gain the benefits of being the one who gives punishment, of being masculine and superior” (113). To some extent, Gerald identifies with Lord Illingworth; he regards Lord Illingworth as a role model.
Chodorow claims that the “the processes in this identification are not necessarily conscious (superego formation, for instance), but the choice of parent to identify with clearly is” (113), which means “a boy with his father, a girl with her mother” (113).
Gerald has no father since he was born, but when he meets Lord Illingworth, he respects and admires him as an idol, an icon and the model. Lord Illingworth teaches him about the values of men and women, and teaches him how to be a real man in working. Gerald has never learnt this from any elder males; therefore, Lord Illingworth easily catches Gerald’s heart and arouses the ambition with his charm, as
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a father-like elder and as a boss. When Lord Illingworth implies to Gerald that he is old enough to be Gerald’s father, he sounds like standing on the same side with Gerald when they talk about Mrs. Arbuthnot. Lord Illingworth shows that he understands what Gerald thinks as a man. Although Gerald mentions that Mrs.
Arbuthnot has been so good to him, Lord Illingworth sharply points out the blindness of mothers:
LORD ILLINGWORTH. . . . Still I should imagine that most mothers don’t quite understand their sons. . . . that a son has ambitions, a desire to see life, to make himself a name. After all, Gerald, you couldn’t be expected to pass all your life in such a hole as Wrockley, could you?
GERALD. Oh, no! It would be dreadful!
LORD ILLINGWORTH. A mother’s love is very touching, of course, but it is often curiously selfish. I mean, there is a good deal of selfishness in it.
GERALD. [Slowly.] I suppose there is.
LORD ILLINGWORTH. Your mother is a thoroughly good woman. But good women have such limited views of life, their horizon is so small, their interests are so petty, aren’t they?
GERALD. They are awfully interested, certainly, in things we don’t care much about. (Act III, p.110)
With a series of question asking, Gerald resonates with Lord Illingworth, he believes Lord Illingworth understands his feelings.
Gerald tries to persuade his mother that he is actually heading for a better social position. Mrs. Arbuthnot does not want Gerald to work with Lord Illingworth, but instead of arguing with her son, she chooses to discuss with him tenderly, although she tensely expresses that she is strongly opposed Gerald having any relationship with Lord Illingworth. Mrs. Arbuthnot is trying to avoid Lord Illingworth involves in her
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life again, including Gerald’s, especially when Lord Illingworth shows great interest in his son. Lord Illingworth thinks his life is complete but lacks a son (Act II, p.105).
He eagerly strives for the chance to get along with his son and wants to give his son the best care and the best resource. As he thinks that he is the father, he should enjoy the right to cultivate his son. However, Mrs. Arbuthnot refutes the statement of Lord Illingworth and she refuses Lord Illingworth’s proposal of caring Gerald. She considers Lord Illingworth as her enemy, as he betrayed her in the past and irresponsibly abandoned Gerald and her. If it was not Lord Illingworth, Mrs.
Arbuthnot would not face that much tough and difficult time in her young age. She was unmarried but with a son. She tries hard to keep Gerald alive as a single mother.
To Mrs. Arbuthnot, Gerald is her precious jewel, her support and her life. Mrs.
Arbuthnot makes all the effort to stop Lord Illingworth’s proposal, claiming that Lord Illingworth has no right to have even the smallest part of Gerald. Although Lord Illingworth argues that he was too young at that time, and it was Mrs. Arbuthnot who left, not him, Mrs. Arbuthnot’s statement could still be a powerful bomb:
MRS.ARBUTHNOT. I left you because you refused to give the child a name. Before my son was born, I implored you to marry me. (Act II, p.105)
Lord Illingworth insists that it was Mrs. Arbuthnot who was stubborn and stiff-necked that even his mother wanted to six hundred pounds a year; Mrs. Arbuthnot refused to take it and resulted in this tragedy. However, Mrs. Arbuthnot clarifies that what she needed at that time was marriage not money:
MRS.ARBUTHNOT. I wouldn’t have accepted a penny from her. Your father was different. He told you, in my presence, when we were in Paris, that it was your duty to marry me.
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LORDILLINGWORTH. Oh, duty is what one expects from others, it is not what one does oneself. Of course, I was influenced by my mother. Every man is when he is young. (Act II, p.106)
Declaring that Gerald cannot separate his future with her past, Mrs. Arbuthnot even begs Lord Illingworth not to take her son away from her, as they are happy together and Lord Illingworth never thinks about them. He owns fame, reputation and possession. There is no reason for him to take away Gerald. Mrs. Arbuthnot is afraid that she will lose Gerald as she can also sense the special and strong attachment Gerald has towards his father. Later, Mrs. Arbuthnot tends to raise Gerald’s sense of guilt intentionally in order to make her son change his mind. Her words trap Gerald and make him confront the dilemma. If he goes with Lord Illingworth, he becomes a disobedient son, if he stays with his mother; he has to give up his ambition and opportunity:
MRS.ARBUTHNOT. I thought you were quite happy here with me, Gerald.
I didn’t know you were so anxious to leave me.
GERALD. Mother, how can you talk like that? Of course I have been quite happy with you. But a man can’t stay always with his mother. No chap does. I want to make myself a position, to do something. I thought you would have been proud to see me Lord Illingworth’s secretary. (Act II, p.108)
At first, Mrs. Arbuthnot is afraid that she would be abandoned by her son. Therefore, she forces Gerald to make the decision of giving up the opportunity of being Lord Illingworth’s secretary. The past experiences make her lose her mind. She tries to control her son. However, Gerald has his own opinion. He does not understand his mother’s thought and chooses the man’s way with ambition. When Mrs. Arbuthnot knows Gerald’s dream and how he plans for his life, Mrs. Arbuthnot steps back and
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allows Gerald to choose what he wants. Mrs. Arbuthnot’s love to Gerald makes her sacrifice herself in order to fulfill Gerald’s dream.
As a mother, Mrs. Arbuthnot shares her own story with Gerald and hopes he could understand the reason that she forbids him to work with Lord Illingworth. Mrs.
Arbuthnot’s motivation is clear that she not only scares that she will lose Gerald, but is also afraid that Gerald might be hurt by Lord Illingworth. To Mrs. Arbuthnot, having Gerald is not a sin although she did suffer a lot when bearing Gerald. But to her, Gerald is a blessing instead of a curse in life. Therefore, even though Gerald thinks differently from Mrs. Arbuthnot, as a mother, Mrs. Arbuthnot accepts her son’s decision at last. Bloom argues that not as naïve as in her young age, Mrs. Arbuthnot thoroughly changes to become what Lord Illingworth can barely understand. Mrs.
Arbuthnot regards Lord Illingworth as her enemy who spoils her youth and ruins her life and the robber who willfully takes her son away from her. “Deeply embittered and obsessively maternal, she forbids her son from accepting the position with the wealthy ambassador, whom she feels does not deserve the admiration of her son, even while fearing that he will contaminate Gerald with his dark eloquence” (Bloom 78).
Gerald thinks his mother forbids him to reach his goal, as Gerald has plans for his life. He wants to be rich, wants to make his life different and wants to get married since he meets Hester. To Gerald, his mother Mrs. Arbuthnot plays a role of impeding his life goal and stopping him from any ambitious achievement. Bloom describes that
“Gerald cannot know why his mother dislikes his new employer, and determines, with the advice of Lord Illingworth, that his new position is merely the necessary separation between mother and son” (78). But to Mrs. Arbuthnot, seeing her son getting closer to Lord Illingworth makes her feel she is threatened. She loves Gerald so much, but Gerald does not know his mother’s inner conflict. Since Mrs. Arbuthnot was young and determined to give birth, she suffers from being a single mother. Her
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emotions are complex because on the one hand, she thinks her life is miserable; but on the other hand, she thinks having Gerald in her life is sweet and happy. However, Gerald seems to reject his mother’s opinion when his mother tells him about the young lady who once had a relationship with Lord Illingworth. Not knowing that this is his mother’s personal experience, Gerald cruelly judges and criticizes the fault of the young lady (his mother in her young age). What Gerald thinks is essentially patriarchal and male centered, that men could be dissolute and need not to afford any responsibility. Hurting his mother’s heart, Gerald seems to focus on how to be successful and reach his achievement like Lord Illingworth does. Gerald’s lack of caring of his mother could be understood as the conflict between mother and son, that the son could never understand his mother. Mrs. Arbuthnot is willing to sacrifice herself for Gerald, as in her confession to Gerald, she mentions that she would rather be Gerald’s mother than to be always pure. She tells Gerald emotionally that what a mother does for the child and how her love nurtures Gerald when he was still young.
But in Mrs. Arbuthnot’s “speech,” she considers that mothers would end up with disappointment that the sons would not reward them. Instead, they make friends in the outside world and forget about their mothers:
MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Men don’t understand what mothers are. . . . You thought I was happier working amongst the poor. That was my mission, you imagined. It was not, but where else was I to go? . . . It was you I thought of all the time; . . . God’s house is the only house where sinners are made welcome, and you were always in my heart, Gerald, too much in my heart. . . . I have never repented of my sin. How could I repent of my sin when you, my love, were its fruit! . . . I would rather be your mother—oh, much rather—than have been always pure . . . It is my dishonour that has made you so dear to me. It is my disgrace that has
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bound you so closely to me. It is the price I paid for you—the price of soul and body—that makes me love you as I do. (Act IV, p.133-4)
The love of Mrs. Arbuthnot to her son gives Gerald huge pressures. It is a painful and breathtaking love to Gerald especially when he wants to step out from his security zone to a new world that he actually desires to join. Christopher S. Nassaar considers that Mrs. Arbuthnot enjoys controlling Gerald, as she has taken care of Gerald and has kept him alive since he was young. “In the parent-child relationship, the parent controls the child, and this is one reason Mrs. Arbuthnot had preferred Gerald to Illingworth” (117). Chodorow generates Chasseguet-Smirgel’s perspectives that “all children…must free themselves from their mother’s omnipotence and gain a sense of completeness” (122) and explains that “a boy’s mother, living in a male dominant society and in a family where her husband is not present as much as her son, cathects him heterosexually precisely on account of his maleness” (122). In his book, Nassaar extremely concludes that Mrs. Arbuthnot actually regards her son Gerald as her lover.
As Mrs. Arbuthnot “brings Gerald a girl in her own image and practically instructs the boy to think of his mother when he is making love to his wife. Vicariously, Mrs.
Arbuthnot will remain Gerald’s lover” (118). Nassaar boldly exposes that the marriage of Gerald and Hester seems to be dominated by Mrs. Arbuthnot as she seems to be an inseparable part of it. “Like the biblical Jacob, Gerald will have two wives, both incestuously related to him. Appropriately, the play ends with the three, intertwined like a spider web, withdrawing into the ubiquitous garden, the symbol of lust and sin” (119). Harold Bloom then claims that there is no room in Mrs. Arbuthnot
“for any new loves save her son and his betrothed, who spreads moral and financial security over them all” (80) that “even when Illingworth himself appears at her door, claiming paternal love for the boy and proposing marriage to gain his son, Mrs.
Arbuthnot calmly declines and turns him out of the door” (80). Even though Mrs.
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Arbuthnot looks like a domineering mother, she never interferes with Gerald’s life plan and decision. She discusses with him, rather than to force him. Mrs. Arbuthnot’s
Arbuthnot looks like a domineering mother, she never interferes with Gerald’s life plan and decision. She discusses with him, rather than to force him. Mrs. Arbuthnot’s