Background Information
One way to develop a character in a short story is to provide background information about the character. This is often done in the orientation of a story.
Details about a character’s background might include:
• name
• age
• gender
• place of birth / nationality
• place of residence
• family relationships
• education
• occupation
• likes and dislikes
• daily routines and habits, etc
In ‘The Knock at the Door’ by Stuart Mead, there is a short character description at the beginning of the story that provides background information about Joey Carter, the main character.
Joey Carter was thirteen. He lived with his mother. He hadn’t seen his father for a long, long time – not since he was in kindergarten. He couldn’t remember his father’s face very well. But at night, he could still hear him say, “Good night, Joey. I love you.”
What does the reader learn about Joey Carter from this description?
We learn about Joey’s name and how old he is. We know that he is a boy. We also learn that he lives with his mother, but not with his father. In fact, Joey has not seen his father in a very long time. He cannot remember his father’s face very well, but he remembers his father’s voice. We can infer that Joey loves his father and misses him very much. All of this information is important for the development of the story.
“First, find out what your hero wants. Then just follow him.”
Ray Bradbury
Worksheet 2.5:
Background Information The following worksheet can be used to prepare students for writing a character description providing background information like the description of Joey Carter in ‘The Knock at the Door’.
Suggested Procedures
1. Arrange students in groups of three or four.
2. Distribute Worksheet 2.5 and go over the list of items that might be included in a description of a character’s background.
3. Read the character description of Joey Carter with students.
4. Tell students to highlight details about Joey Carter’s background and fill in the details in the spaces that follow.
5. Check the answers with the class.
Extension Idea
Students each write a paragraph based on the model that provides background information about the main character of their story. Students should keep the character descriptions in their writing folders.
Physical Appearance
Another way to develop a character in a short story is to describe the character’s physical appearance.
A description of a character’s physical appearance might include the following vocabulary:
Here is a good example of a character description that provides details about a character’s physical appearance. This is a description of Alvin’s grandfather in the story ‘Victim’ by Adrian Tilley.
The old man was slumped close to his plate, shovelling the rice in clumsily with his shaking hands. Alvin took in the details he knew so well. The pink shiny head with the greasy strips of hair stuck to it like wisps of string. The thin wrinkled face, the squashed, pitted nose. The eyes glassed over with age, always watering but always watching. Alvin hated the way he was always watching. The slack, distorted mouth, twisted to one side after last year’s stroke. The thin arms, bulging veins… he couldn’t look at him anymore. He thought he could smell him though - a waft of stale piss.
Characteristics Descriptive words and phrases
body big/small, tall/short, heavy/thin, fat/slim, of average build, well-built, strong, muscular, athletic, big-boned, bony, skinny, petite, etc
face round, thin, freckled, pimpled, scarred, bearded, clean-shaven, attractive, handsome, pretty, beautiful, ugly, prominent/small nose, thick/thin lips, straight/crooked teeth, pointy chin, square jaw, red cheeks, shiny forehead, etc.
skin dark/light, rough/smooth, dirty/clean, hairy, spotty, wrinkled, etc.
hair long/short, shoulder-length, straight, curly, wavy, permed, dyed, black, brown, blonde, grey, silver, white, tied in a pony tail, shaved head, receding hairline, bald, etc.
eyes big/small, round/narrow, almond-shaped, bright, brown, blue, green, hazel, bloodshot, teary, watery, watching, a black eye, bags under the eyes, thick eyebrows, long eyelashes, etc.
clothing white shirt, blue jeans, grey jacket, long dress, short skirt, black hat, red scarf, old shoes, etc.
other appears confident/weak, wears glasses, wears earrings, wears a watch, wears lipstick, walks with a cane, walks with a limp, has a nervous tick, speaks with a stutter, speaks with a lisp, drools, etc.
Worksheet 2.6:
Physical Appearance This paragraph gives the reader a detailed picture of Alvin’s grandfather. The language is very descriptive. The old man doesn’t just eat his rice, he shovels it in ‘with his shaking hands’. The author uses repetition of grammatical structures for added effect:
‘The thin wrinkled face, the squashed, pitted nose’ and ‘The eyes … always watering but always watching.’
We also learn something about the main character, Alvin, from this paragraph. Notice the sentences in red. These sentences give us information about how Alvin feels about his old grandfather as he observes him. We can infer that Alvin does not like his grandfather very much.
The following worksheet can be used to prepare students for writing a description that focuses on a character’s physical appearance, similar to the description of Alvin’s grandfather in ‘Victim’.
Suggested Procedures
1. Arrange students in groups of three or four.
2. Distribute Worksheet 2.6 and go over the vocabulary for describing a character’s physical appearance.
3. Read the character description of the old man aloud with students and clarify any words or phrases that students do not understand.
4. Tell students to highlight in yellow details about the old man’s physical appearance and highlighter in pink information about Alvin.
5. Tell sudents to answer the questions and draw a picture of Alvin’s grandfather.
6. Check the answers with the class.
“Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them.”
Nathaniel Hawthorne
Extension Idea
Students each write a paragraph describing the physical appearance of one character in their story. For an additional challenge, students could write a character description through the eyes of another character, as in the example by Adrian Tilley. Students should keep the character descriptions in their writing folders
Thoughts, Feelings and Actions
In addition to background information and physical appearance, skilful writers also provide details about their main character’s thoughts, feelings and actions. This is what really brings the character to life.
To illustrate this with your students, show them a simple sentence about a character engaged in an activity. Here is an example:
Mr Chan walked up the stairs.
Tell students to ask Wh- questions about the character, Mr Chan. Ask them to think about how to make the sentence about Mr Chan more descriptive.
Who is Mr Chan? Is he young or old?
Married or single? Rich or poor? etc. Where do the stairs lead? Do they lead to his office? To his flat? etc.
How does he walk? Does he walk
slowly or quickly? With a limp? etc. Why is Mr Chan going up the stairs?
Did he forget his keys in his flat? etc
Mr Chan walked up the stairs.
Guide the class to come up with a more descriptive sentence about Mr Chan. The result might look something like this:
Old Mr Chan walked slowly up the stairs to his flat.
Point out that although this is more descriptive than the original sentence, old Mr Chan is still not fully developed as a character. We still do not know anything about what he thinks or how he feels as he walks up the stairs.
In the following descriptive paragraph about old Mr Chan written by Stuart Mead, we can really visualise old Mr Chan as he struggles to climb the stairs.
Old Mr Chan stopped at the bottom of the stairs, resting before he started the slow climb to his second-floor flat. He used a tissue to wipe the sweat from his face.
He got ready for the slow, steep walk up the stairs. “Every day, it’s the same,” he thought. Carrying a plastic bag full of vegetables in his left hand, he started the climb. One step. Slowly. It was hard work. Another step. Long ago, he could have run up the stairs, but now his muscles are weak. Slowly. He was breathing hard.
Step by step he climbed. Finally, he arrived at his door. He stopped. He was too tired to search for the key in his pocket, too tired to carry the bag any more. The bag fell on to the floor. He looked at the green, white and orange vegetables. “Every day, it’s the same,” he thought.
Old Mr Chan is now more fully developed as a character. There are more details about how he climbs the stairs to his flat. From the sentences in red, we also know what old Mr Chan is thinking and how he must feel.
Notice also the use of repetition. Words like ‘slow’, ‘slowly’, ‘climb’ and ‘step’ are repeated several times. ‘The slow climb’ becomes ‘the slow, steep walk’. The structure,
‘too tired to (v)…’ is used twice. “Every day, it’s the same” is a thought that comes to old Mr Chan twice.
In the worksheet that follows, students will read Stuart Mead’s character description of old Mr Chan and continue the story, further developing the character by describing his thoughts and feelings as he picks up the vegetables, puts them back in the bag, finds his house key, unlocks the door, opens it, etc.
The worksheet is designed to give students practice with developing a character by combining details about what the character does (i.e. actions) with information about what he thinks and how he feels (i.e. thoughts and feelings).
Worksheet 2.7:
Thoughts, Feelings and Actions
Suggested Procedures
1. Write the sentence ‘Mr Chan walked up the stairs’ on the blackboard.
2. Guide the class to make the sentence more descriptive by asking Wh-questions about Mr Chan and adding more details to the sentence.
3. Distribute Worksheet 2.7 and read the character description of old Mr Chan aloud with students, providing support, if necessary, to help students comprehend the desccription better.
4. Tell students to highlight old Mr Chan’s actions in yellow and his thoughts and feelings in pink.
5. Point out some of the narrative writing techniques that the author uses to bring old Mr Chan to life, such as the use of repetition (words, grammatical structure) and physical descriptions to illustrate emotion.
6. Tell students to find examples from the descriptive paragraph of each narrative writing technique and to write them on Worksheet 2.7 in the spaces provided.
7. Check the answers with the class.
8. Tell students to write the next paragraph in the story. Tell students that Mr Chan still has to pick up the vegetables, put them in the bag, find his house key, unlock the door, open it, etc.
9. Remind students to make Mr Chan look old and tired, and to make him move slowly. Ask: ‘What does he think?’ ‘How does he feel?’ ‘What can we see in Mr Chan’s face, in his eyes?’ etc. Students keep the character descriptions in their writing folders.
Extension Idea
Students each write a descriptive paragraph about one character from their story engaged in a simple activity. Encourage students to describe the character’s thoughts, feelings and actions and to use some of the narrative writing techniques that are used in the descriptive paragraph by Stuart Mead. Students should keep the character descriptions in their writing folders.
“It begins with a character, usually, and once he stands up on his feet and begins to move, all I can do is trot along behind him with a paper and pencil trying to keep up long enough to put down what he says and does.”
William Faulkner
Show, Don’t Tell!
When describing a character’s feelings, skilful writers do not just ‘tell’ the reader how the character feels. They ‘show’ the reader by using imagery. Imagery is language that paints a vivid picture in the mind of the reader, often by appealing to the five senses:
sight, sound, smell, taste and touch.
Look at the following sentences:
1. Joey missed his father.
2. Alvin hated his grandfather.
3. Old Mr Chan was hot and tired.
These three sentences ‘tell’ us how each character feels, but there is no imagery. They do not ‘show’ us anything.
Notice how the same three ideas in these sentences are expressed by the authors, who use imagery to appeal to the senses:
1. Joey missed his father.
[Joey] hadn’t seen his father for a long, long time – not since he was in kindergarten. He couldn’t remember his father’s face very well. But at night, he could still hear him say,
“Good night, Joey. I love you.”
2. Alvin hated his grandfather.
Alvin hated the way [his grandfather] was always watching. The slack, distorted mouth, twisted to one side after last year’s stroke. The thin arms, bulging veins… he couldn’t look at him anymore. He thought he could smell him though – a waft of stale piss.
3. Old Mr Chan was hot and tired.
[Old Mr Chan] used a tissue to wipe the sweat from his face. He got ready for the slow, steep walk up the stairs. “Every day, it’s the same,” he thought.
These descriptions offer the reader vivid images that illustrate how the characters feel.
We can hear the voice of Joey’s father, smell the odour of Alvin’s grandfather and feel the sweat on the face of old Mr Chan as he wipes it away with a tissue.
Here are a few more examples that illustrate the difference between ‘telling’ and
‘showing’.
Advise students to avoid using adjectives like afraid, angry, excited, happy or sad when describing a character’s feelings. Instead, students should appeal to the senses and focus on the character’s physical reaction to the emotion.
Skilful writers describe the physical manifestations of their characters’ emotions. They focus on the face, the eyes, the mouth, the hair, the skin, the heart, the blood, the pulse, the sweat, the breath and the tears, etc, to ‘show’ the reader how their characters feel.
Do not tell the reader… Show the reader!
Joey was afraid. There was a storm. The lights went out.
The lights suddenly went out. In the darkness, the wind and rain grew louder and seemed closer…
Joey sat still, his heart beating fast. It made a
‘thump, thump, thump’ noise in his chest.
Stuart Mead, ‘A Knock at the Door’
Alvin’s mother was angry. She hit Alvin. It hurt a lot.
She had moved so quickly, her hand going back and across in one movement, slapping his left cheek with a crack that silenced the room. The pain hung hot on his cheek.
Adrian Tilley, ‘Victim’
Bill was frightened. He thought someone was behind him.
It seemed a shadow had fallen over him. But there was no shadow. His heart had given a great jump up into his throat and was choking him.
Then his blood slowly chilled and he felt the sweat of his shirt cold against his flesh.
Jack London, ‘All Gold Canyon’
“Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.”
Anton Chekhov
The following worksheet can be used to give students practice with ‘showing’ the reader how a character feels by using imagery that appeals to the senses.
Worksheet 2.8:
Show, Don’t Tell!
Suggested Procedures
1. Distribute Worksheet 2.8. Explain that when skilful writers describe a character, they often create an image in the mind of the reader by appealing to the five senses: sight, sound, smell, taste and touch.
2. Go through the first sentence and description about Joey with the whole class.
3. Tell students to work in pairs to complete the next two sentences and descriptions about Alvin and Bill.
4. Check the answers with the class.
5. Read the sentences and descriptions in the table and ask students to identify which of the five senses the authors appeal to in each description.
6. Point out that in each case, the author describes a character’s physical response to an emotion.
7. Tell students to rewrite ‘I was in the waiting room. I was nervous.’ using descriptive language that appeals to the senses and focuses on the physical body.
The Five Senses
When describing a place in more detail, skilful writers ‘show’ the reader what the place is like by appealing to more than one of the five senses. See the table below.
The five senses Wh- questions
Sight What can you see in the place? What does it look like?
Sound What can you hear in the place? What does it sound like?
Smell Does the place smell? What does it smell like?
Taste Does the place leave a taste in your mouth?
Touch How does the place make you feel?
When asked to describe a place, students tend to focus on what it looks like. They should be encouraged to add details about the sounds and the smells of the place, or the tastes and feelings that the place evokes to make the description more vivid.
Students can also use other literarcy devices such as metaphor, simile or alliteration when decsribing a place. See Handout 1.11 in Part 1 of this book for reference.