Chapter IV. Data Analysis
4.5. How to Build Relationship with the Supervisor
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Based on the table, we can distinguish the following five groups:
1. To learn Chinese: to mingle in society, to learn Chinese, to communicate with people, to learn the language of the adaptation
2. To change yourself to the local culinary habits
3. To dress yourself like a local and respect their customs: follow the etiquette in general, follow the dress code, avoid gaudy and flashy dressing, dress yourself like a local 4. To be prepared for the changes: don’t resist yourself to changes, be ready to make some
sacrifices, accept changes
5. To respect the local law: don’t ridicule the locals, respect the local laws and customs
4.5. How to Build Relationship with the Supervisor
In order to create a positive and productive relationship with our supervisors we must become aware of any leftover emotional wounds or unrealistic expectations we might be carrying from the past into the workplace. We must deal with the present reality and weed out the transference.
You usually can't change your boss's behavior, but you can nurture the quality of the relationship.
How to build effective relationship with the supervisor? There are some suggestions from the interviewed foreigners:
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• Show respect. Even if your boss hasn't yet won your loyalty, he or she is still entitled to your respect. Your boss is responsible for your work and the work of your colleagues.
That can be a significant burden. Try to understand the business from your boss's perspective. Try to treat him or her with the respect the position and the responsibility warrant.
• Don't be afraid of your boss. Some supervisors can be intimidating, but remember, your boss needs you. Your performance is often the key to the success of your boss.
• Do your best. Try to live up to the performance expectations set for your job. In doing your best, you'll gain greater satisfaction from your work, earn your supervisor's trust and help the organization achieve its goals.
• Give honest feedback. Your supervisor needs you to be honest and direct, even if it's unpleasant — and you may have valuable information or questions for your supervisor.
Of course, temper your honesty with diplomacy. Choose your words wisely and use a gentle tone. Both should promote and contribute to an environment of mutual respect.
• Don't try to hide problems. First, try to solve the problem. If you can't and the problem becomes serious, let your supervisor know as soon as possible. Offer solutions and ask for additional recommendations. Ask for help or additional training if you need it. Don't let your boss find out about the problem from someone else.
• Bring important news fast. If you become seriously ill, need to have surgery or need time off for a family leave, inform your boss as soon as possible. This gives him or her time to cover your absence.
• Maintain your boundaries. Remember to keep your business relationships about business.
However close you may be with your supervisor, he or she is still the boss, and at times that means making unpopular or difficult decisions.
• Be positive. When things go wrong, a positive attitude means a lot to people who work with you, including your boss. Communicate with questions or suggestions, rather than complaints. Volunteer suggestions to mitigate the problem, and don't be offended if they're not always implemented.
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• Manage your anger. Blowing up in front of your supervisor solves nothing, but
demonstrates clearly that you can't control your emotions. This doesn't mean you have to sit and stew when you're angry. But learn how to communicate your anger appropriately.
If anger management is difficult for you, sign up for a course to help you deal with it.
• Embrace your strengths. Recognize your own talents and nurture them. Seek out tasks that take advantage of your skills.
• Face your shortcomings. You can't be skilled in everything you do. Ask your supervisor for advice to help you grow in areas where you're weak. Inquire about training or courses that could help you improve your skills. Take his or her advice and make an honest effort to improve.
• Say thanks for recognition. If your boss tells you that you're good at something or have done an excellent job on a project, thank him or her and take it to hear.
• Make a plan. The first step to change relationship is to work on establishing trust.
Develop a project plan after you receive your next assignment. Make sure you include dates and times you'll report back on your progress.
• Get feedback. Get your boss's feedback on your plan early and reach an agreement on how the project will proceed. Be flexible if your boss makes changes.
• Execute your plan. Follow through on the plan you both agreed on. Meet the deadlines and report back as planned. If your supervisor questions how you did something, you can say, "This is what we agreed on." If you try to reach an understanding with your boss using this technique and it doesn't improve your situation, gently discuss the issue with him or her by saying, "This isn't working for me." Share your feelings and ask if the two of you can get together to improve the situation. Come prepared with the facts and possible solutions to improve your working relationship, and make your point without being emotional. Again, seek agreement for how you'll work together going forward.
• Recognize that you are not a victim. While children have little, if any, real power to make decisions, adults always have options, even if none are very appealing. If your boss treats
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you with disrespect or exploits you, keep in mind that you have the option to leave the situation.
• Avoid power struggles by accepting two things: Your boss has the right to ask for whatever he wants of you and you have the right to accept or decline the demands.
• Don’t harbor resentments. If you feel that you are being taken advantage of, then go directly to your boss and express your feelings. Always use "I" statements and avoid accusations or blame.
• Don’t personalize the impersonal. Sometimes other people are in a grumpy mood, or on edge. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you did something wrong. It’s your boss’s
responsibility to let you know if he/she has a specific gripe with you. Keep in mind that supervisors are not immune from their own transference reactions.
• Accept responsibility for your own behavior. This is especially hard if you feel as though you were blamed unfairly for things in childhood or if you weren’t taught to be
accountable. But, it’s critical to take ownership of your own actions. If you’re coming to work with personal problems or unrealistic expectations of what your employment can fulfill in your life, then you need to get those expectations in check.
• Most importantly, keep in mind that your boss is not your parent. He or she is an individual whom you choose to work for. If you act like an adult, do the job you were hired to do, and set healthy limits, then you’re likely to be treated with the respect you deserve. Don’t forget that your boss is key to your current on-the-job satisfaction and to your future success in the organization -- and perhaps even beyond. So you need to put the efforts to lay the groundwork for a productive working relationship.
"The No. 1 thing is to observe the company culture and your supervisor closely during your first few weeks," says Terese Corey Blanck, principal of College to Career, a career-consulting firm in suburban Minneapolis. "Keep your opinions to yourself until you understand the
company culture well and know what people will look upon with favor and what they'll look upon with disdain."
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Even something as simple as asking intelligent questions will make a difference in how your boss perceives you as an employee. "It's always better to clarify than to charge off and go completely in the wrong direction," Corey Blanck says.
• Some bosses are very hands-on, keeping close tabs on you throughout your workday.
Others may talk to you once a week or less often and send you on your way to do your job. Whatever your supervisor's style, typically it's up to you to establish and maintain the lines of communication between the two of you. Using either email or the occasional stop-by-the-office visit, make sure you keep your boss informed with the answers to these questions: What are you working on? What have you finished, and what are the results?
What can you help your supervisor with?
Allison Hemming, author of “Work it! How to get ahead, save your ass, and land a job in any economy” talks about a candidate she recently placed with a major investment bank. "Two weeks into the job, we got a call from her manager, saying that she was doing a terrific job, but that she sometimes dressed inappropriately, in short, short skirts and open-toed shoes," says
Hemming. "The manager asked me to have a chat with the person, because they really liked her and didn't want her attire to impact her ability to get promoted in the future. The new hire was a bit shocked to discover her fashion faux pas were damaging her relationships with her
supervisor and colleagues, but she quickly made the necessary changes to her wardrobe,'' Hemming says.
• Demonstrate Initiative: Any new employee can sit around waiting to be told what to do.
Why not be proactive enough to figure it out yourself so your supervisor doesn't constantly have to hold your hand?
"Take initiative to get something done when you see it needs getting done," says Corey Blanck.
"It can be something as simple as taking a stack of files and going through them before you're asked -- anything to show that you're not beneath the small tasks that take up everyone's time."
"Come in early and stay late," says Stephen Viscusi, author of “On the job: How to make it in the real world of work”, "You should be busy whenever you're starting a new job, learning the ropes, but even when you're not, perfect the art of looking busy."
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• Do great work: This might seem like painfully obvious advice for developing a solid relationship with your new boss, but it bears repeating. "Make your boss look good by, guess what -- just plain working hard," says Viscusi, "It's old-fashioned, but it really works."
• Sometimes there just isn't much that can be done to change your work situation. If that's the case, try focusing on what you may be able to control: focus on the redeeming features of your job. Perhaps the work is exciting, the pay is good or you like your coworkers.
• Don't forget your personal life. Put work in its proper perspective. Ask yourself which is more important — your work life or your personal life. Develop interests and passions outside of work that give you a sense of control and balance. Make sure to get proper sleep, exercise and nutrition. Develop a social network of supportive and nurturing friends. Take the time you need to play and rejuvenate.
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Based on the table, we can distinguish the following 11 groups:
1. Show respect: avoid struggles, treat with respect, say thanks for recognition 2. Don’t be afraid of your boss: bring important news fast
3. Don’t try to hide problems: solve the problem 4. Maintain your boundaries: boss is not your parent
5. Be positive: don't forget your forget your personal life, develop interests and passions outside of work
6. Demonstrate initiative: earn the supervisor's trust, do your best
7. Embrace your strengths: recognize your own talents and nurture them, seek out tasks that take advantage of your skills
8. Make a plan: do great work, help the organization achieve its goals, execute your plan 9. Don’t harbor resentments: manage your anger, control your emotions
Kseniya
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10. Don’t personalize the impersonal: recognize that you are not a victim 11. Accept responsibility for your behavior: don't complain
12. Get feedback: face your shortcomings, be flexible, give honest feedback