4. RESULTS and DISCUSSION
4.2 Qualitative Analysis
4.2.1 High and Low Proficiency Groups’ Inappropriate Use of
4.2.1.4 Low Proficiency Group’s Inappropriate Use of Lexical
In this section, we will examine inappropriate use of lexical cohesive devices in narrative writing by low proficiency group members. The types of lexical cohesive devices under scrutiny are (1) Repetition, (2) Synonym and (3) Superordinate. With regard to antonym, because of their rare occurrence (2 instances), no errors were found in this category.
4.2.1.4.1 Repetition
After the discussion of the grammatical cohesive devices come the lexical cohesive devices. In the category of repetition, forty-eight instances of inappropriate use of repetition were found in low proficiency groups’ writing, the number of which was more than ten times as many as high proficiency groups’. Common major problems included non-idiomatic expression and word choices while the minor problems included misspellings, shift of the tense, plural inflection, and the correct sentence grammar.
First, with respect to the non-idiomatic expression, although low proficiency writers used a lot of repetition words in their samples, for the most part repetition did not lead to coherence of the text, as shown in the following example (4.18). In t-units 4 and 6, the writer used the word go twice. One was the bare infinite form, and the other was the past tense of go. Even though these two words formed the repetition in the text, they didn’t contribute to the coherence of the text. The go in t-unit 4 was redundant for the expression was not idiomatic and sounded awkward.
85
(4.18) It was a sunny day.1 It was so hot that I just wanted to stay in [my]
house.2 But I got a call from my classmate, 依諄.3 “ Do you want to join me to go to eat icecream with 予情?4“ She asked.5 We went to night market to find icecream store.6
(4.19) The time was 4:10 in the morning,3 I was still not to sleep because I feel [felt] very nervous about today, which was the most important thing of my seventeen-life4, it’s “Indicate test [Joint College Entrance Examination]”, will decide the University what I study.5 The test [exam] I thought not only test my ability, but also decide my future.6 When I come to the class room [classroom], even through the people maked big noise. I found seen to the world leave me along [alone].7
Secondly, like high proficiency writers, low proficiency writers had problems with the word choices. In (4.19), the author used Indicate test to stand for Joint College Entrance Examination; as a result, in the following discourse, the author also used the test to refer to the college entrance exam, which was not an appropriate usage at all since a test is less formal than an exam.
Thirdly, even though low proficiency writers used the correct target word to form repetition, they may still suffer from misspellings, shifts of tense and other minor mistakes. As can be seen from example (4.19), the writer had shifted the past tense to the present tense in t-units 4, 6 and 7. For example, in t-unit 4, I was still not to sleep because I feel very nervous about today……. The word feel should be changed to the past tense felt. In addition, there were spelling problems in t-unit 7. The word classroom and alone were misspelled as class room and along. The other two examples in (4.20) and (4.21) show that writers may neglect the plural inflection of the nouns or the correct sentence pattern when repeatedly using the same word in the text.
(4.20) We always have some day [days] that we can’t forget forever in our life.
There day [These days] include birthday, graguation,, date and some cerebrate days.
(4.21) On that day, whenever Lisa went, there was somebody gave [giving] her kisses and wishes.
86
4.2.1.4.2 Synonym
In addition to repetition, low proficiency level writers also had problems with synonyms. Low proficiency level writers’ problems with synonymous cohesive devices were mainly with the spelling problems (3 instances), and word choices (2 instances).
(4.22) I felt very happy to give her a unforgetful [unforgettable] birthday and I thought it was a special day to remember. (NL1)
(4.23) She looked very happy and was too exciting [excited] to talk one word. superordinate in the narrative writing but with 5 minor errors involving spellings, and plural inflection of the nouns.
(4.24) The day I went to grenpa’s [grandparents’] home with my parents, and all my family was came on, too.
(4.25) We go to travel, play musicial machine [musical instruments], eat dinner and so on.12 We do many thing [things] together.13
In the example (4.24), the writer encountered spelling problems with the word grandparents, so when it formed a superordinate relationship with the word family, it was counted as an inappropriate cohesive device. The problem of plural inflection was presented in example (4.25). There existed a superordinate relation between things in t-unit 13 and play musical machine [musical instruments] in t-unit 12.
However, the general word thing should be the plural form. Therefore, it was counted
87
as inappropriate use of cohesive device.
4.2.2 High and Low Proficiency Groups’ Inappropriate Use of Cohesive Devices in Expository Writing
In this section, high and low proficiency groups’ overall occurrence of inappropriate use of cohesive devices in expository writing were counted and presented in Tables 81-83. As can be seen from these tables, it is clear that the total number of cases involving inappropriately-used cohesive devices in the high proficiency group was 50 while that of the low proficiency group was 131.
Table 81
Inappropriate Use of Grammatical Cohesive Devices between the Two Groups
Essay Reference Substitution
Pronominal Definite Comparative Nominal Verbal Clausal
High 18 5 1 1 1 0
Low 39 15 7 0 1 0
Table 82
Number of Inappropriate Use of Grammatical and Lexical Cohesive Devices
Essay Ellipsis Conjunction
Nominal Verbal Clausal Additive Adversative Causal Temporal
High 0 1 0 1 1 0 0
Low 0 0 0 3 7 4 3
Table 83
Number of Inappropriate Use of Lexical Cohesive Devices
Essay Lexical Total
Repetition Synonym Antonym Superordinate
High 19 2 0 0 50
Low 42 2 7 1 131
4.2.2.1 High Proficiency Group’s Inappropriate Use of Grammatical Cohesive Devices in Expository Writing
In this section, we will examine inappropriate use of grammatical cohesive devices in expository writing made by members of the high proficiency group. The types of grammatical cohesive devices under scrutiny are (1) Reference, (2) Substitution & Ellipsis and (3) Conjunction.
88
4.2.2.1.1 Reference
In the following section, we will focus on the high proficiency group’s inappropriate use of referential cohesive devices in exposition. Errors involving inappropriate use of referential cohesive devices in the high proficiency group included those of (1) pronominal reference, (2) definite or demonstrative reference and (3) comparative reference Compared with other types of errors of which there were fewer instances, pronominal reference were the dominant errors (18 instances) and most of them involved unclear referents as shown in the following examples.
(4.26)…. Cellphones facilitate non-face-to-face communication, regardless of limitation on time and space5; however, at the same time it [they] also make people less aware on manners and mutual respect.6 (CH7)
In the example above, in t-unit 6, the writer used the pronoun it to refer to the referent cellphones in t-unit 5, which obviously confused the reader because it is difficult to retrieve the presupposed item that it referred to. Hence, it is more appropriate to rewrite it as they because of the plural forms of the referent.
(4.27) …. Cell phones have become human’s intimate friends in this rushing century.7 People could deal with their business outside of their office, only if they take their cell phone out.8 It [Cell phones] makes communication more convenient, and seems to develop work efficiency because people could contact with others anytime and every where as long as cell phones could receive signals.9 But it [they], meanwhile, also destructs the relationship among people.10 (CH2)
In terms of unclear referents, most errors were involved with the mismatch between the presupposing and the presupposed element. However, there were two instances involved with the use of a noun phrase to start a new discourse topic. In (4.27), in t-unit 9, the writer used it to refer to their cell phone in the preceding t-unit 8. Actually, in the beginning of the t-unit 9, it was a start of a new topic; therefore, a noun phrase should be used here to replace the pronominal determiner.
Secondly, with regard to the use of definite or demonstrative reference, lack of
89
appropriate definite articles was the major common errors that members of the high proficiency group made, as illustrated in the example below.
(4.28) However, cell phones bring some disadvantages under the skin.14 the first one, which is also the most controversial one, is its harm towards [the] human body.15 Although it is not yet proved, it is believed that the radiation released by the cell phones definitely does harm to [the] human body, especially to the brain.16 In addition, cell phones promote cheating in [the] examination.17 Nowadays teachers are troubled by students using cell phones to send and receive answers during the test!18 (CH5)
In the examples above, human body in t-units 15 and 16 and examination in t-unit 17 required a definite article the to make the text more coherent.
Thirdly, as to the comparative reference, there was only one inappropriate use of it in (4.29). The high proficiency writer used a comparative structure to make a comparison in whether human beings cherish the interpersonal relationship more than they did before.
(4.29)…. with such an easy tool of communication, human beings did not seem to cherish the relationship more than before [as much as they did before]. (NH4)
4.2.2.1.2 Substitution and Ellipsis
The high proficiency group had more instances of substitution and ellipsis than the low proficiency group. However, their employment of these two cohesive devices was not without flaws because of their immature sentence structures. As shown in (4.30), the writer mentioned that cell phones bring some disadvantages and that the first disadvantage is harm toward the human body. In t-unit 15, the writer used nominal substitution one to refer to the preceding noun, disadvantage, which made the text cohesive. The only inappropriateness of the cohesive item the first one is that it is at the beginning of a new sentence; therefore, the should be capitalized.
90
(4.30) However, cell phones bring some disadvantages under the skin.14 the first one [The first one], which is also the most controversial one, is its harm towards human body.15 Although it is not yet proved, it is believed that the radiation released by the cell phones definitely does harm to human body, especially to the brain.16 In addition, cell phones promote cheating in examination.17 Nowadays teachers are troubled by students using cell phones to send and receive answers during the test!18 (CH5) In addition to substitution, the employment of inappropriate ellipsis was also presented. In (4.31), in t-unit 4, the writer stated that with direct talking, people could easily build relationship with others and they can even build relationship with strangers. The ellipsis used in t-unit 4 was not appropriate. To make the sentence parallel, even strangers should be replaced by even with strangers.
(4.31) Cell phones could be regarded as one of significant “hidden hands” of
One was the lack of a proper conjunction and the other was the improper conception of the word “even”. As indicated in (4.32), an additive conjunction “and” was needed between t-unit 3 and t-unit 4.
(4.32) Nowadays, before people leave their homes,1 there are two things that they will bring,2 one is the wallet,3 [and] the other one is, of course, cell phone.4
Another common error was that writers regarded the word even as a conjunction and used it to connect another sentences. A better way is to use the cohesive device though to make a concession with the preceding sentence.
(4.33) When it comes to advantages of cell phones, most people believe that cell phones make it easy to contact others no matter where the user is, even [though] the user and the one the user tries to contact are world apart.
91
4.2.2.2 High Proficiency Group’s Inappropriate Use of Lexical Cohesive Devices in Expository Writing
In this section, we will examine high proficiency groups’ inappropriate use of lexical cohesive devices in expository writing. The types of lexical cohesive devices under scrutiny are (1) Repetition, and (2) Synonym. With regard to antonym and superordinate, no errors were found in the high proficiency group’s exposition.
4.2.2.2.1 Repetition
After the discussion of grammatical cohesive errors comes the discussion of lexical cohesive errors in high proficiency group’s exposition. The dominant errors regarding repetition were plural inflection of cell phones (9 instances), non-idiomatic expression (4 instances), wrong choices of words (2 instances), wrong part of speech (1 instance) and misspellings (1 instance).
First, in (4.34), a high proficiency student failed to create plural inflections of cell phones. Second, there were some non-idiomatic expressions with the use of repetition in (4.35). The writer repeatedly used the word use in the text but the expression unlimited using areas were not idiomatic. In addition, there were cases of wrong choice of words. One student used the world cell to replace cell phones, which was obviously an inappropriate tie and caused misunderstanding in the text, as shown in (4.36).
(4.34) Nevertheless, cell phones have disadvantages as well. For example, being easy to contact others also means being easy to be found. So if one wants to be alone, but his cell phone is ringing and someone gets him to do something, it would be annoying. Besides, the expense on cell phones is not so lovely. Everyone who uses cell phone [cell phones] might think it is expensive, so he will be picky about the length of time in calling others. It would limit the extent of convenience.
(4.35) …. The advantages of using this high-tech device are its convenience and unlimited using areas [unlimited areas].
92
(4.36) The other advantage comes to the uniqueness to oneself.13 Since buying a cell phone means a wide variety of cell phones people can choose from14, it provides the opportunity people can show their preferences to colors, style of the cell [cell phone], or even buy extra accessories to decorate the cell's outlook15. However, we also see people keep changing their cells [cell phones] not because it doesn't work, but they didn't like how it look.16 The waste of the sources becomes the other disadvantage nowadays.17 Now, what comes to your mind?18 You will think twice before getting a cell [cell phone]?19
4.2.2.2.2 Synonym
As for other subcategories in the lexical cohesion, there were only 2 inappropriate ties regarding synonyms. One of them was the inappropriate usage of the verbal phrase. Although in the text, the phrase catch up and seize the change formed a synonymous relationship, the phrase catch up was improper because it means trying to equal or surpass other opponents. On the contrary, the phrase catch up on is closer in meaning to seize the change because it means to get the latest information about the market.
(4.37) Businessmen use them to catch up [catch up on] the latest stock market.
…. a piece of news even shows how some owners of big companies in Taiwan seize the change in marketing by using cell phones.
4.2.2.3 Low Proficiency Group’s Inappropriate Use of Grammatical Cohesive Devices in Expository Writing
In this section, we will examine inappropriate use of grammatical cohesive devices by members of the low proficiency group. The types of grammatical cohesive devices under scrutiny are (1) Reference, (2) Substitution, and (3) Conjunction. As for ellipsis, due to its rare occurrence, there were no errors regarding this category.
4.2.2.3.1 Reference
In the section, we will focus on low proficiency group writers’ inappropriate use of referential cohesive devices. The errors involving inappropriate use of referential
93
cohesive devices in the low proficiency group included those of (1) pronominal reference (39 instances), (2) definite or demonstrative reference (15 instances) (3) comparative reference (7 instances).
First, errors concerning pronominal reference included unclear referents (19 instances), wrong sentence structure (11 instances), shift of pronouns (6 instances) and lack of pronominal reference (2 instances).
As illustrated in (4.38), the writer frequently used it to refer to the plural noun cell phones. The mismatch between the presupposed and presupposing element may cause some confusion to readers. Hence, the plural pronouns they should be employed to cohere with cell phones. Furthermore, in the discourse, low level students were more likely to use one pronoun to refer to cell phones throughout the passage despite the fact that the topic had changed. For instance, in the second paragraph, t-units 13-19, the writer used it to refer to the cell phone. However, in this part, the writer mentioned two disadvantages of cell phones. One was that people became colder in t-units 15-17 and the other was that cell phones did harm to our body in t-units 18-19. When a topic change is presented in the t-unit 18, the noun phrase should be presented to signal a new beginning of a new topic.
(4.38) Cell phones are an important part in this world now.1 It [they]
became more and more popular and convinent.2 Generally speaking, almost every college student has it [one]. 3 Whatever expensive or cheap, one people has one cell phone seems to a necessary part.4Why?5
When techleoge develops well, people can went to more places which long distance.6 But they also need to connet with others,7 cell phones can help them to talk with somebody.8 And it [they] can sent messages, too.9 Even people don’t stay together, 10they also have way to know each other.11 It was a really good news,12 but everything all has two point.13
Although cell phones are convient, it [they] changes people’s life. 14Now people became colder,15 they are not often to face to face,16sometimes they even don’t see others.17 And it [cell phones] don’t have benefits for our body,18 maybe let us more stupid.19
94
However, the most important thing was that it [cell phones] takes everyone to a new life.20 Whatever advantages or disadvantages more, people already can’t lose it [them].21
In addition, low proficiency level students suffered from incorrect sentence structures, as shown in (4.39).
(4.39) Cell phones have changed human being life very well,1 before we used cell phones, we had kept touch with friends was convenient [keeping in touch with friends was inconvenient].2 (CL6)
The writer tried to express that before we used cell phones, keeping in touch with friends was inconvenient. Although the writer used the first person pronoun twice to refer to all human beings, t-unit 2 was problematic because it was an ungrammatical sentence. To revise t-unit 2, we had better omit the first person pronoun and rewrite it as keeping in touch with friends was inconvenient.
More importantly, unlike high proficiency groups, low proficiency groups tended to produce shift of the pronouns in their expository writing, as shown in (4.40). In the following text, at first, the writer used the first person pronoun we in t-unit 8 and later shifted to the second person pronoun you in t-unit 10. Not until t-unit 15 did the writer shift to the first person perspective once more.
(4.40) …. The advantages of the cell phone is that it is very convient,7 we [We]
can talk to our friend at anywhere and anytime,8 it can also used to listen to music, take a picture. You [We] only have to carry one cell phone,9 a
"small box",10 and it can give you [us] so many functions!11
The disadvantages of cell phone may be it will harm your [our]
heath.12 If you [we] spend too much time using cell phone to talk with your [our] friend at once, your [our] ear will be hurt,13 and the cell phone body will get more and more hot,14 it not good for our brain.15….
Secondly, with regard to definite or demonstrative articles, low proficiency writers committed more errors than high proficiency ones. The common errors included the addition or lack of the definite article. One participant put the definite article the to introduce the nouns he had mentioned earlier in the text. Take (4.41) as
95
an example. The write kept adding definite article in the text, which violated the principle of forming a cohesive tie because no referent was found in the preceding discourse.
(4.41) Have you found that the people don’t’ write the letters since the cell phone was invented? 7“Why should we write?8 We can talk anytime!”9 they will
(4.41) Have you found that the people don’t’ write the letters since the cell phone was invented? 7“Why should we write?8 We can talk anytime!”9 they will