details might be due to the nature of thoughts and the allocation of attentional resources.
The learners found it hard to juggle among articulating, content generating, managing new thoughts that kept popping up, and thoughts that were not precise or logical. The complicated thought processes might lead to verbosity. As S46-M explained:
Because I will say something immediately after I have a new idea in my mind, and perhaps the idea is not logical and is very wordy. Maybe I have many different ideas keeping appearing in my mind, and I’ll say them all. That makes me not concise. (Worksheet)
In the context of debate, BE CONCISE might be even harder to achieve because of the numerous elements that all required one’s attention. As S49-H commented:
During debate, not only you have to structure your thoughts but also you have to examine the logic and consistency and position of your opinions. So it would be harder for me to be concise. (Worksheet)
The following example, (42), is S52-M’s opinion given in the middle of the whole-class debate on the same topic of money incentive for studying. According to my observation memo, the two opposing sides were heated up at this point. Although the students had already gone through four warm-up phases before the intense whole-class debate, some responses were still spontaneous. In the middle of S52-M’s talk, other students started to look at each other and shook their heads, indicating that they did not understand. I could even hear several of them asking their neighbors: “What?” As the moderator of the debate, I successfully summarized her viewpoint because the second half of her comment was clearer, making inference possible, but the first half was extremely hard to understand. The repetition and self-correction are crossed out in the
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following transcript to highlight the redundant parts of S52-M’s talk.
(42)
4-1. Omit redundant, secondary, superfluous, or repetitive parts of speech:
example 1 (failed attempt) (Whole-class debate)
You might want to get money because you think that...you might want to work hard because you don’t work to get money, so you you have this kind of logic, and but um there are many people when you...there are many people in the world, and when you are thinking of that, you got reward uh you work hard for reward, but if you don't work hard you get you can’t get the money, then you’re going ...you’re not ...you’re now in the situation that you’re thinking about: if you don’t get money, what can uh give back to your uh as reward. So..that…uh so ....this kind of people will ...find to go to find out what can give back uh to them, so they don’t need the money reward, but for those who need this kind of money rewards...can still uh working hard by getting the rewards, have uh this kind of money reward system.
In (42), the first half of her remark was almost unintelligible due to several factors, including weird word choice (“so you have this kind of logic”), grammar mistakes (“what can give back to your as reward”), unspecified pronouns (“and when you are thinking of that”), and the occasional filled pauses (“uh”). The clarity of the second half of her remark was compromised by the missing subjects: …but for those who need this kind of money rewards ...[they] can still uh working hard by getting the rewards, [if we] have uh this kind of money reward system. But the major factor that led to incomprehensibility might be the frequent repetition and self-correction (the words being crossed out), especially the ones made in the middle of sentences.
The following reflection is from S52-M’s individual interview after her retrospective interview on her posttest, yet the thought process she described may
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explain the underlying causes of her frequent repetition and self-correction during the whole-class debate as illustrated in (42):
It seems that most of the time, English comes out first, but then I might feel that the English I have produced is not exactly what I want to express, so Chinese ideas come out, but then I can’t find the [English] terms that match those [Chinese]
ideas. [R: And then what would you do?] I would try to find another word to express myself. But then I would get stuck. When giving my answers, I have to speak, so it’s harder to think at the same time. When giving responses, if I have to search for [the right] words, then I might forget what I wanted to say originally. I often forget what I’m talking about in the middle of giving my opinions;
I mean [I forget] how they [my answers] are related to the topics. [R: Is it because you forget the topics, or…?] I might forget the first sentence that I have produced…Although I have ideas in mind, halfway in answering the question, I might forget why I produced this particular sentence in the first place. [R: Why is that?] It is because I speak fast, which gives myself less time to think. So it might be the case that I have already said something, but my mind hasn’t reached that point yet. [R: How do you deal with it?] If I’m speaking in Chinese, I’d keep reminding myself to talk slower. It’s easier to do when I’m speaking in Chinese. But when speaking in English, as long as I’m nervous, I’d speak very fast, so I wouldn’t pay much attention to what I’m talking about.
S52-M was a fast speaker, but she could not process that fast in English, leading to frequent self-correction and repetition. The mismatch between articulation and mental processing, or between mouth and mind, might be another reason why BE CONCISE was hard to achieve in real-time discussion like debate.
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On the other hand, those who knew how to pace themselves might find it easier to reduce the unnecessary self-correction and repetition. The following example, (43), from S31-M in the same debate shows only minor redundancy (the words being crossed out). His use of simple and short sentences seems to help with the clarity of his position:
against money incentive for studying. Unfortunately, his speed and pace cannot be shown on the following transcript.
(43)
4-1. Omit redundant, secondary, superfluous, or repetitive parts of speech:
example 2 (failed attempt) (Whole-class debate)
It’ll give them ideas that ...only I ...only I get money, and then it’s uh my hard-working is worth it. But it doesn’t mean that. Sometimes you work really hard, but not getting good grades, and you don’t want to uh let them have the idea of ...if I didn’t get the money, I’m...it just don’t worth it.
Strategy 4-2. Select important messages. BE CONCISE might be hard to be