A large portion of Lahiri’s works focus on the lives of South Asian women within the host society, which may stem from her own personal experience but may also be a way for her to bring attention to the traditionally silenced women within the South Asian diaspora. Although there is a sizeable amount of writing dedicated to first-generation women within Lahiri’s texts, it is harder to find instances in which these women willingly step out of the safety of their homes or even go against tradition. They mostly withdraw themselves from the host society, which makes it harder for them to fully develop their multiple identities because of their deliberate seclusion from the host culture. As I have previously mentioned, only individuals who engage in interaction with other cultures will develop complex instances of multiple identities; those who do not seek interaction, like the majority of first-generation women, while they may still formulate multiple identities, but these identities tend to be less complex due to the lack of roles absorbed through contact with the host
culture.
To begin our discussion, however, we need to first comprehend what constitutes the traditional image of first-generation South Asian women. The traditional image of what a female of the first generation should presumably emulate can be pieced
together through the descriptions of first-generation female characters within Lahiri’s tales. The majority of these women come to America accompanying their husbands (as opposed to immigrating alone), so they are automatically placed within the domestic sphere as housewives. These women are expected to assume the everyday responsibilities familiar to the common housewife: keeping the house tidy and in order, taking care of and educating the children, and cooking meals. Despite living a continent and an ocean away from their in-laws, these mothers still “never cut corners” and ran their households “as if to satisfy a mother-in-law’s fastidious eye”
(UE 22).12 In addition to maintaining the cleanliness of their homes, the bulk of their time is spent preparing elaborate meals for family and/or guests. In the case of Mrs.
Sen from “Mrs. Sen’s,” for instance, Lahiri dedicates in detail how she spends an hour each afternoon chopping vegetables and preparing ingredients, filling up countless colanders and bowls, for “merely dinner for herself and Mr. Sen” (IM 117).13 She is even willing to go out of her way just to procure ingredients for her meals; for
instance, she is eager to take the bus and later on even drive to the fish market to pick up fresh mackerel. The amount of time spent in preparation and cooking for their guests shows just how much Indians pride themselves in entertaining their guests well, and this attribute is not lost on those who have immigrated to the United States.
First-generation women are also responsible for educating children about their homeland. The mother figures within Lahiri’s stories pass on their culinary knowledge
12 Further mentions of Jhumpa Lahiri’s Unaccustomed Earth within citations will be shortened to UE.
13 Further mentions of Jhumpa Lahiri’s Interpreter of Maladies within citations will be shortened to IM.
and experience to their daughters, which is a method of transmitting culture onto the next generation (a practice Lahiri attests to herself in the auto-biographical article
“The Long Way Home: Bengal by way of Julia Child”). Another way in which these women pass on their tradition is through teaching their children their native tongue.
However, not all children are so easily taught, and some may refuse to act in response, choosing otherwise to reply only in English—a cruel but very real reminder for
mothers that they are trying to raise American children to be Indian. Yet, these women still generally adhere to Indian standards of raising their children which more often than not becomes a source of embarrassment for their offspring. A few experiences are shared by the first-person narrator Hema in “Once in a Lifetime,” the first story in the second part of Unaccustomed Earth. On special occasions, Hema would be
dressed against her will in a traditional outfit, such as the one sent by her grandmother from Calcutta, which she disliked for the inseam of the wide pants was stamped with a large purple seal. When she was thirteen years old, Hema was still wearing
flower-printed undershirts while all the other girls in school already wore bras. Upon being approached by a saleswoman pointing out training models, Hema’s mother expressed her disapproval: “Oh, no, she’s far too young” (UE 239). The most notable case that appears within the story concerns Hema wanting to sleep alone and her mother refuses to grant her wish because it is an “American practice.” Hema recalls her struggle with her mother:
My mother considered the idea of a child sleeping alone a cruel American practice and therefore did not encourage it, even when we had the space.
She told me that she had slept in the same bed as her parents until the day she was married and that this was perfectly normal. But I knew that it was not normal, not what my friends at school did, and that they would ridicule me if they knew. The summer before I started middle school, I insisted on
sleeping alone. In the beginning my mother kept checking on me during the night, as if I were still an infant who might suddenly stop breathing, asking if I was scared and reminding me that she was just on the other side of the wall. (UE 229)
Typical American children are told to sleep in their own rooms as soon as possible, in order to pave the road for and facilitate their eventual independence, regardless of gender. In terms of South Asian tradition, however, as Hema’s mother attests, children are to sleep in the same bed as their parents until they are married off. Though Hema’s mother views sleeping alone as a “cruel American practice,” it is likely that an
American from mainstream society would think the same of her insistence on letting Hema sleep beside her and her husband.
These women are also very protective of their children’s safety, credibly so because they themselves are just getting acquainted to their new surroundings;
without prior knowledge or experience to base their opinions on, it is only normal for them to be less trusting of the unfamiliar environment.14 Take for instance Chitra in
“Year’s End,” who constantly feels like her children will be harmed by the American environment, and as a result refuses to let them go outside without her
supervision—even objects within the family property are subject to her distrust, such as the pool in the backyard and the staircase in their house without handrails.
A further shared characteristic of the first-generation women is their frugality.
Hema’s mother “inherits” bags of boy’s clothes from Kaushik’s mom15 when the latter moves back to India and places them away, even bringing them along when they
14 In an interview with Sandip Roy-Chowdhury, Lahiri agrees with the interviewer that “immigrants, no matter how long they live here [in America], never quite feel safe.”
15 Hema and Kaushik’s mothers are both first-generation South Asian women from “Once in a Lifetime.” Hema’s mother behaves in a manner typical to first-generation wives, as previously discussed. On the contrary, Kaushik’s mother behaves in an Americanized manner and is therefore a rare specimen, since most first-generation women adhere to the traditional standards of South Asian conduct.
moved a few years later, and when Hema objected to wearing the “ugly” clothes, her mother “refused to replace them” (UE 226). Later, upon hearing that Kaushik’s mother had flown first-class back to the United States, Hema’s mother scoffs at her self-indulgence, stressing that “[t]welve people could have flown for the price of that one first-class ticket” (UE 236). Hema’s family is used to shopping in Sears, a
supermarket-like department store that is known for carrying a variety of merchandise at economical prices, and her mother is used to ordering cosmetics from Avon;
Kaushik’s family, who are much more profligate in their purchasing habits, shop at Jordan Marsh, a more high-end department store.
There are several critical differences which may severely dampen the desire of first-generation housewives to leave the relative security of their home. These women are incapable of living on their own because they are so occupied with the upkeep of their families within the South Asian community; if you removed them from either their family or uprooted them from the local South Asian immigrant community, they would be at a loss of what to do. They are afraid of isolation because they are already experiencing “the isolation of living in an American suburb,” which is “more solitude than [most] could bear” (UE 29). These women are used to living in environments where you need only to “raise your voice a bit, or express grief of joy of any kind, and one whole neighborhood and half of another has come to share the news, to help with arrangements” (IM 116). Conversely, in America, these women grow “afraid because [they] cannot see neighbors” (IM 270) and find themselves regularly left at home alone, isolated from the outside world.
Moreover, before the 1990s women in India did not think it proper to drive,16
16 One reason for this is that before the 1990s, in the eyes of the average Indian, driving was still an essentially male-dominated domain, so to see a woman behind the wheel was “quite a discovery”; most travelled using public transportation or hired chauffeurs (“Women”). Additionally, some women may have problems putting aside their pride to drive by themselves, a job that has been customarily undertaken by men from poor socio-economic backgrounds.
meaning that most of these immigrant women lack any means of getting around, apart from walking around on their two feet or taking public transportation. When Chitra in
“Year’s End” is asked if she would want to learn how to drive, she replies negatively,
“not as if she were incapable, but as if driving were beneath her” (UE 270). This refusal to learn to drive and, subsequently, to integrate into American society, further isolates them within the confines of their domestic domain.
The most obvious discrepancy lies in their physical appearance and clothing, which mark them as visibly different from the local Americans, further diminishing their desire to leave the house. Eliot, the white American boy Mrs. Sen is babysitting, mistakes her vermilion-shaded part for a cut on her scalp or a bug-bite. Ruma from
“Unaccustomed Earth” remarks how her mother sticks out “in her brightly colored saris, her dime-sized maroon bindi, her jewels” (UE 11). Their husbands can choose to exchange their tailored shirts and pants for ready-made clothing readily found in American stores, but the saris and sandals unique to the first-generation woman’s style of dressing cannot be replaced so easily (Namesake 65). This may be another reason why first-generation women are less willing to venture out of the house.
First-generation women are only able to develop multiple identities if they step outside of the house and mingle with the locals. An example of a woman who dares to venture forth into “unaccustomed earth” is Mrs. Sen. She corresponds as an example of a first-generation South Asian woman with multiple identities because she
simultaneously possesses several identities at once, since she is of South Asian descent but also an immigrant to America. Other subjectivities which influence her include her first-generation status, her female gender, and her domestic role as a wife.
Within her story she repeatedly oscillates between her identities as a South Asian woman and a woman in America with South Asian origins. She differs from the norm because she is willing to interact with native inhabitants and, in her frustration to
procure fresh fish for her cooking, she is prepared to try her hand at driving.
Ultimately, it is her fear of isolation that prompts her to seek out a companion in Eliot and to leave the household, a concern that most traditional first-generation women share but do not actively attempt to change. Mrs. Sen’s story begins when she takes up a job babysitting Eliot, an eleven year-old American boy. The two get along rather nicely, perhaps because both share feelings of loneliness—Eliot lives with his mother, who rarely offers him the affection ordinarily granted children, in a secluded beach house, and Mrs. Sen finds her new environment too lonely for her liking compared to the familiar, clamorous, extended family structure common in India—yet find comfort within the foreign yet friendly Eliot. Both can be considered inexperienced, Eliot in the sense that he is only a child, and Mrs. Sen in the sense that she knows relatively little about America. Mrs. Sen, capable of undertaking the role of a grown, married woman within Indian society, reverts to the state of a child upon immigration to the United States: she knows less about the country than an eleven year-old boy and she is incapable of moving around freely on her own, trapped within the confines of her own home. As both of them are children in their own sense, they cannot leave the
household without the supervision of an adult; the irony lies in the fact that although Mrs. Sen is older in age, the true adult between the two is Eliot, who displays a maturity and self-reliance past his years in addition to knowing comparatively more about the U.S. than Mrs. Sen. Within the story, Mrs. Sen herself observes and admires Eliot for his wisdom beyond his years (IM 123).
At the beginning of the story, Eliot’s mother is looking for a babysitter for her son: “Eliot is eleven. He can feed and entertain himself; I just want an adult in the house, in case of an emergency’” (IM 111). However, Mrs. Sen, the woman who she has contacted for the job, does not know how to drive. The juxtaposition of the two statements “I just want an adult in the house” and “But Mrs. Sen did not know how to
drive” seem to suggest that Mrs. Sen does not qualify as an adult precisely because of her inability to drive (IM 111). Within American society, learning to drive is an indication of maturity and adulthood. Despite the fact that Mrs. Sen is around thirty years old, her immobility marks her as still a child in the eyes of many Americans.
Once in America, she lacks even basic knowledge about the country and its traditions, and she is deprived of a full-time chauffeur as she used to be, and can only able to call on her husband when he is not busy at his office to drive her around. She is
consequently confined to her home.
In a sense Mrs. Sen is portrayed as an adult who was capable of functioning within South Asian society but is now forced to relapse into a lifestyle not unlike that of a child’s when placed within the host society.17 Mrs. Sen is restricted to the same moving space as Eliot is, and they are both stuck inside the house unless they choose to ride public transportation or enlist the help of an adult to drive them around. Being no more mobile than a minor, Mrs. Sen has to rely upon her husband for a number of tasks, particularly those concerning transportation, just like a child would look up to their own parents or another adult to drive them to different locations.18
In India, Mrs. Sen can no doubt manage to move around freely on her own accord. She has her own chauffeur to drive her around, she knows how to navigate herself amongst the streets and alleyways she grew up in, and she understands the local culture and traditions. The Indian concept of a grown, traditional woman does not include the ability to drive; in fact, many women view learning how to drive a car
17 Also worthy of mention is Mrs. Sen’s lack of common knowledge concerning America, which also likens her to a child that has yet to learn about a particular society.
18 Although not explicitly mentioned within this story, it can be observed in other stories such as
“Unaccustomed Earth” that the overdependence of the first-generation wives on their husbands could give rise to excessive stress for the latter, as we have seen in the way Ruma’s father runs away from the heavy responsibility of assuming the role of the main patriarch; he turns down Ruma’s offer for him to move in with her family because he knows she needs a man in the house to share her responsibilities and he feels too old to have others depend on him. He is relieved to be rid of the responsibility of supporting an entire family, either emotionally or physically.
to be beneath them, like Chitra in “Year’s End” has stated. Mrs. Sen may have a similar opinion of driving since she had her own chauffeur in India, but nevertheless she forces herself to learn so that she can go to the fish market on her own instead of having to ask her husband to take her. She is also more willing to take steps to adjust to life within American society because her husband promises things will get better once she receives her license.
Mrs. Sen’s willingness to try to learn how to drive is a move in the right direction, since it is the only way she can attain mobility and thus grow in status from child to grown adult. Unfortunately, she is unprepared to offer the serious attitude and full attention necessary to be able to get onto the street and drive without a hitch. Mrs. Sen takes driving too seriously and not seriously enough all at once. She approaches driving with the attention span and willpower of an elementary school student. And she is “continually distracted,” prone to suddenly stopping the car when she comes across any sort of disturbance, be it a news blurb on the radio or a bird in the middle of the street (IM 120). Either she spends a ridiculous amount of time backing out of the parking space or she leans all the way forward to pin down the brake when confronted with the main road lined with cars hurtling past (IM 120). What she does not do in excess, she does to an inadequate degree. Mrs. Sen, in her half-hearted approach to driving, shows that she does not view it as a genuinely important action that can shape her adjustment to American society as a successful or disastrous process, but she rather thinks it to be only an optional achievement. If she thought
Mrs. Sen’s willingness to try to learn how to drive is a move in the right direction, since it is the only way she can attain mobility and thus grow in status from child to grown adult. Unfortunately, she is unprepared to offer the serious attitude and full attention necessary to be able to get onto the street and drive without a hitch. Mrs. Sen takes driving too seriously and not seriously enough all at once. She approaches driving with the attention span and willpower of an elementary school student. And she is “continually distracted,” prone to suddenly stopping the car when she comes across any sort of disturbance, be it a news blurb on the radio or a bird in the middle of the street (IM 120). Either she spends a ridiculous amount of time backing out of the parking space or she leans all the way forward to pin down the brake when confronted with the main road lined with cars hurtling past (IM 120). What she does not do in excess, she does to an inadequate degree. Mrs. Sen, in her half-hearted approach to driving, shows that she does not view it as a genuinely important action that can shape her adjustment to American society as a successful or disastrous process, but she rather thinks it to be only an optional achievement. If she thought