Natalie

Before the instruction, Natalie relied on constant TPs with the same people participant in the unmarked theme positions to connect sentences, which created a

sense of monotony. However, Natalie improved the coherence in her posttest writing by including various types of logical connectors and linear TPs besides constant TPs.

She also made progress by producing a coherent picture writing complete with all the rhetorical moves in the posttest. TC, TP and rhetorical structure analysis were implemented to examine the pretest writing. The results of the pretest writing were demonstrated in Table 4.8 with constant TPs presented in solid lines. The themes of the constant TPs were highlighted.

Table 4.8 The TC, TP and Rhetorical Move Analysis of Natalie’s Pretest Picture

Writing

Paragraph 1

Marked Theme Theme Rheme

 Opening it was sunny day.

110 (1) One day,

(2) A girl who named Mary has long and beauty hair.

(3) So, she went shopping to buy some girt for her ...

 Development

(4) Because she needed …

she went to department store in afternoon.

(5) However, she was so tired that she wanted to sit …

(6) And she had a pleasant mood.

(7) When she went to … many people gazed at her coat.

(8) She didn’t know what happened about her.

Paragraph 2

Marked Theme Theme Rheme

Transition Setting

(9) To her surprise,

she saw her coat stain into 油漆 on the door.

Development

(10)

She recalled her memory what happened today.

(11) She remembered that she went to the park …

(12) She thought maybe the chair not be dry…

□ Closing

(13)

She wasn’t sad instead going home to wear another coat…

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As shown in Table 4.8, the results of the TC analysis suggested that two logical connectors were employed in the marked themes of Natalie’s pretest writing and that most of the participants in the unmarked themes belonged to the people type. Next, the findings of the TP analysis indicated that Natalie only used constant TPs before the instruction. Eight constant TPs were identified in Natalie’s pretest writing, most of which began with “She”. Natalie used the same TP pattern and the same people participant to describe what she saw, experienced, and felt, which made her pretest writing lack variety. Third, the results of rhetorical move analysis showed that only the closing rhetorical move was missing. Natalie correctly developed the scene by explaining how Mary stained her dress, but she ended the story by stating that Mary went home and changed the dirty clothes. The last rhetorical move, i.e. closing, was absent.

Generally, the major problem of Natalie’s pretest writing was the prevalent people participant, “she”, which began nearly every sentence and became the theme of every constant TP. The repeating constant TP made Natalie’s pretest writing monotonous. After the instruction, Natalie made progress by including linear TPs besides constant TPs in her posttest writing. TC, TP and rhetorical structure analysis were conducted to scrutinize Natalie’s posttest writing and the findings were

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summarized in Table 4.9. Constant TPs were presented in solid lines and linear TPs in dotted lines. The themes of the constant and linear TPs were highlighted and the rhemes of linear TPs were underlined.

Table 4.9 The TC, TP and Rhetorical Move Analysis of Natalie’s Posttest Picture

Writing

Paragraph 1

Marked Theme Theme Rheme

 Opening

(1)

There hold Chinaware Exhibit yesterday.

 Development

(2)

My brother asked me if we went to see this exhibition.

(3) And I was interested in it.

(4) So I nodded my head right away.

(5) I brought with my favorite doll together…

(6) When I was … my brother suddenly took out my doll.

(7) He didn’t want to give me back.

(8) Consequently, he hit one of the value souvenir, and it … Paragraph 2

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Marked Theme Theme Rheme

 Transition Setting

found us that he caught us red-handed.

(13) We apologized profusely to policeman …

(14) From this experience, we learned that we had to be more vigilant …

 Closing

(15) In order to have …

we need to obey the rule that we couldn’t play in exhibition.

In Table 4.9, the results of TC analysis suggested that Natalie used four logical connectors in the marked theme positions after the instruction informed by SFL. The first two logical connectors, “So” and “Consequently” displayed causal relationships of the events. The first one, “So,” appeared in Sentence 4, which indicated that, because the female character was interested in the exhibition, she agreed to go with her brother. Next, in Sentence 8, “Consequently” was also used before describing the

114 outcome of the brother’s naughty trick.

Another type of logical connector identified in Natalie’s posttest writing was the one that marked time sequence. She used “In the moment” in Sentence 9 to illustrate that the characters did not know what to do when they realized they were in trouble.

The last logical connector, “At the same time” was marked in Sentence 12. Natalie used it to indicate that the police caught the two characters when they were repairing the broken antique. Next, the results of TC analysis also revealed that, even though most of the participants belonged to people participant type, Natalie used different people participants. The people participants included “I”, “we”, “my brother”, and

“the policeman”, which added variety to her posttest.

Moreover, the results of TP analysis indicated that seven constant TPs and two linear TPs were employed. The first two constant TPs were identified in Sentences 3, 4, and 5, which all began with “I”. Natalie explained why the two characters went to the exhibit from the first person narrative. Next, Sentences 6, and 7 formed the third constant TP. Natalie used “My brother” and “He” in the theme positions of the constant TP to describe that the brother suddenly took away his sister’s doll and refused to return it to her.

Then, the fourth constant TP was formed by Sentences 7 and 8. Both of the sentences began with “he”, or “the brother”. The fifth constant TP appeared in

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Sentences 9 and 10. Natalie used “we” in unmarked theme positions to depict the two characters’ reaction when they found the exhibition broken. Finally, the sixth and seventh constant TPs were used to connect Sentences 13, 14, and 15, which all began with “we”.

Also, Natalie included two linear TPs after the instruction rather than using constant TPs repetitively. The first linear TP was formed by Sentences 2 and 3. The brother asked his sister whether she would go to the exhibition with him. The rheme,

“me”, which referred to the sister, became the theme, “I”, in the succeeding sentence.

The other linear TP was identified in Sentences 12 and 13. The policeman found the brother and sister repairing the damage. The rheme of the sentence, “us”, which referred to the brother and sister, became the theme, “we”, in the following sentence.

Next, the results of rhetorical structure analysis showed that every rhetorical move was identified and well-established in Natalie’s posttest writing. The first rhetorical structure, opening, was found at the beginning of the first paragraph, which introduced the two main characters and presented the details of when the exhibit was held. The scene description was developed by the brother’s invitation to the museum and their misbehavior in the museum, which led to the damage of the exhibition.

The third rhetorical move, transition, was found in Sentence 9, which began with

“In the moment” to present the time sequence and connected the two paragraphs.

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Upon discovering that they broke the exhibition, the brother and sister were in panic.

Then, Natalie developed the content by describing how they reacted to the problem in the following sentences. Finally, instead of ending with the brother and sister’s apology to the policeman, Natalie continued to provide a moral lesson that they learned from the incident. The last rhetorical move, closing, was identified with detailed description in the last two sentences. They learned that they should behave in the museum.

In general, although the people participant was still the dominant participant type after the instruction, Natalie used different people participants and pronouns in her posttest writing to prevent the writing from being monotonous. Furthermore, the coherence in Natalie’s posttest writing was improved as more various types of logical connectors and TP patterns were employed. Natalie made progress by including linear TPs after the instruction instead of relying on constant TPs. Also, every rhetorical structure was identified and carefully developed. At the end of the posttest writing, Natalie reiterated the importance of polite demeanor, which also echoed the beginning of the text. To sum up, she produced a coherent picture writing with rich content, various types of logical connectors, and TPs in the posttest.