The use of the LPF

shifts the focus from the content to its outcomes, which places emphasis on learners

provides a common “language” and “tool” for teachers to use in the learning, teaching and assessment process

explains what is expected of students in terms of:

- where are they now? (existing strengths and weaknesses) - where are they going? (goals)

- where to next? (“feedback” /“feedforward”)

How could teachers bring about improvement to their writing skills?


Classroom Writing Assessment

• Writing assessment should maximise its formative potential so that it can be used to promote student learning through:

Adopting process writing Providing effective feedback Promoting peer/self assessment


The Process Approach

“A process approach to writing is recommended”(Eng Lang C&A Guide, CDC 2007, p.83).

Methodologies entirely focusing on language errors are hardly adequate in improving learners’ abilities”

(Syllabuses for Secondary Schools Eng Lang, CDC 1999, p.95).

The process approach:

The purpose of a piece of writing is stressed Students behave like writers in real life

Teachers will try to extend the readership and readers will respond to writing (review)

Single drafting is to be replaced by multiple drafting

Materials developed by Dr Icy LEE for the Empowerment Workshop 47

Teaching Writing: two views?


• Write as a learner


• Write like an author


Process-oriented writing


-Analysing purpose

& audience

-Brainstorming ideas


-Organisation -Word choice

-Sentence fluency


-Teacher conference -Self/Peer evaluation


-Enriching content / Clarifying

-Using precise language


-Making changes to spelling, punctuation, grammar



-Bulletin board -School website -Public reading

Adapted from: 49

• Focus on ideas first

• Build on what writers know and have done

• Get writers to think how to improve their writing

• Resist making judgments about the writing

Sample Conference Questions

 Tell me more about that.

 What’s the most important thing you’re trying to say?

 What’s your favourite part? How can you build on it?

 How could you find out more about your topic?

 Is all this information important? What parts don’t you need?

 Why is this significant to you?

 What do you want your reader to know or feel at the end of your piece? 50

Teacher feedback

Teachers “must avoid providing detailed editing

comments on the surface form without paying attention to organisational and content issues” (Syllabuses for

Secondary Schools English Language, CDC 1999, p.94).

“Teachers need not correct all the mistakes in learners’

work. Total correction is time-consuming for the teacher and discouraging for the learners, particularly when the latter sees their papers full of red ink” (Syllabuses for Secondary Schools English Language, CDC 1999, p.95).

“Teachers should give comments on the drafts they have collected from learners…They should make suggestions which will enable learners to carry out revisions in the areas of organisation, grammar and mechanics” (English Language C&A Guide (S4-S6), CDC and HKEAA 2007,



Use of Quality Feedback

Focused – Linked to

Learning Objectives


Clear and Easy to Understand Constructive

Quality Feedback


Typhoon Day

Last Friday, I was happy because I don't need to go to

school. Last Friday morning, I was playing computer games.

Suddenly, I heard a thounder. The thounder was very loud.

I was scared.

I go to the Hong Kong Observatory website to check the weather. Is Typhoon hitted Hong Kong? I was happy. I looked the TV news. It also play the Typhoon news. The reporter said the typhoon signal no 8 was up. The student should not went to school because it is dangerous.

My brother did not stay at home. He went to the street to saw how typhoon is and took a photo for me. He is

naughty. Although stayed at home was boring but I won't went out because it was thounder.

•ATM4 write simple stories

•ATM5 write stories with a setting, a simple plot and simple characterisation

With reference to the LPF, comment on the student’s performance

and suggest how he can improve the story

on the mentimeter.


Activity 3(a)

Please refer to the worksheet for the writing task

Source: Territory-wide System Assessment, 2014: Report on the Basic

Competencies of Students in English Language, Key Stage 3 (HKEAA, 2014:


Discussing with students how to improve their writing

Before the discussion:

Decide on the area to work on with students

during the discussion

Ask students strategic questions

after the discussion

Guide students to do their individual revisions after the discussion


Alternative way to give feedback - Strategic questioning

• create motion

• create options

• help students gain new perspectives on how to improve



instructional conversations

(Lantolf, J) collaborative

dialogue (Swain, M &

Lapkin, S, 2000 & 2001)


(Glasson, 2009)

Materials developed by Dr Cheri CHAN for the Empowerment Workshop 57

When students are on the right track,

teachers can ask:

• Why do you think that…?

• How do you know that…?

• Can you show me what you mean?

• What might be an example of that?

• Can you tell me more about…?

When students need to consider other


• Is it possible that…?

• What if I said that…?

• What if you looked at this from X’s

point of view?

• Would you still say that…?

• So, what might happen if…?

When teachers want to engage other


• Who agrees with this point?

• Has anyone got another idea?

• Can anyone tell me more?

• Does anyone want to ask X a question about his answer?

• Students have been asked to discuss how the story can be improved.

• In the following transcript, the teacher helps students think about how to create a better plot for the story. The teacher uses strategic questioning (highlighted in green) to help students focus on the learning intention of the lesson (to write a story with a better plot).

Source: Glasson, T (2009) Improving student achievement 58

T: Do you like this story?

Hailey: I don’t like it. It is not interesting. It does not have an ending…

T: Why do you think it does not have an ending?

Hailey: Um…it is so sudden.

T: Does that mean you think the writer has not finished the story?

Hailey: Yes.

T: And how you can tell that? What do you think the writer should write at the end?

Hailey: It said the brother went out. I want to know what happened to him.

T: Mmm Aiden, did you hold the same view?

Aiden: I think so…it is good to know what happened to the brother.


Prompting students to elaborate when they are on the right track

Engaging other learners

T: OK. How can we add that?

Aiden: I want to add the brother got hurt by broken glass in the storm.

T: So you want to describe what happened to the brother when he went out to take a photo during the typhoon?

Aiden: Yes.

T: Why do you think describing what happened to the brother during the typhoon will improve the story?

Aiden: It makes the story more exciting.

T: Exactly. It can be the high point of the story. We have learned about the different parts of a story. Do you know how we call this part of the story?

Aiden: Is it … climax?

T: That is right. Climax is a very important part of the story. We can make an impact with it. Can anyone tell me what we should

write after describing what happened to the brother? Cindy? 60 Prompting

students to elaborate when they are on the right track

Engaging other learners

Cindy: Um…I don’t know…

T: What if we describe what happened after the brother got hurt in the storm?

Cindy: He was saved by the policemen. Then we end the story.

T: That’s right. We all want to know what happened at the end. We have learned about different ways to end a story. Is it possible that we use one of them?

Cindy: …like…um…well…reflection?

T: Reflection! That’s a very good suggestion! Tell me how we can add a reflection, Cindy!

Cindy: I don’t really know how to add it…

T: Well, a reflection can be what we have learnt from the story.

What have we learnt from what happened to the brother?

Cindy: …Um…we should not go out…when it is typhoon.

T: Great. We can add a reflection, like “Although it is boring to spend the whole day at home, we had better stay indoors when

there is a typhoon.” 61

Guiding students to think about other


Guiding students to think about other


In document Developing Junior Secondary Students’ Writing Skills with Reference to the Learning Progression Framework (Page 43-62)

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