Developing Junior Secondary Students’
Writing Skills with Reference to the Learning Progression Framework
(Refreshed)
English Language Education Section Curriculum Development Institute
Education Bureau
December 2016
Objectives of the Workshop
• To introduce the concept of progressive development of writing skills at the junior secondary level with reference to the Learning Progression Framework (LPF)
• To explore the design of effective learning and teaching activities that develop students’ writing skills
• To provide hands-on activities on identifying students’ strengths and weaknesses in writing and giving quality feedback
• To provide suggestions on how to enhance students’
writing skills in the school-based English Language curriculum at the secondary level
By the end of the workshop, you will have
• a better understanding of the key considerations in planning for the progressive development of writing skills at the junior secondary level; and
• explored some effective strategies for helping students formulate, develop, elaborate on, organise and present ideas in their writing.
Time Programme Rundown
Part 1 To introduce the concept of progressive development of writing skills at the junior secondary level with reference to the LPF
Part 2 To provide suggestions on improving the design of the writing tasks based on the learning outcomes articulated in the LPF to enhance writing skills and foster creative thinking
Break
Part 3 To provide hands-on activities to examine students’ work and introduce effective strategies to give quality feedback and promote assessment for/as learning
Part 4 School sharing
Q & A and Evaluation
To introduce the concept of progressive
development of writing skills at the junior
secondary level with reference to the LPF
6
What is the LPF for English Language?
The LPF:
• represents the growth of learners on a developmental continuum as they work
towards the Learning Targets and Objectives of the English Language curriculum;
• is made up of Learning Outcomes organised under the four language skills and divided into eight levels of attainment, i.e. Attainment
Milestones (ATMs);
• helps teachers better understand and articulate learners’ performance; and
• helps teachers plan strategically how to enhance English Language learning and teaching.
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4
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ATM
8
Learning Outcomes
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Curriculum Framework
(What students are expected to learn)
Values and attitudes
Skills
Knowledge
LPF
(What students can do
as a result of learning and teaching)
Basic Competency
Relationship between the
Curriculum Framework, LPF and BC
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Curriculum Framework,
Learning, Teaching and Assessment, and LPF
Curriculum Framework (What students are
expected to learn)
Goals
(What students can do as a result)
Learning Progression
Framework
Attainment
Process
Structure of the LPF for English Language
LOs organised & presented under the four language skills
LOs for each language skill expressed in the form of outcome
statements (a general description
of learner performance)
Pointers provide specific examples of what learners are able to do in
demonstrating the LOs.
UPs elucidate some of the learning objectives which do not lend themselves to the description in terms of 8 levels of attainment but are essential to English language learning.
Outcome Statements
Underlying Principles
Exemplars
Exemplars illustrate the expected student
performance.
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Outcome Statements
Underlying Principles
Outcome Statements give a general description of student performance at
each ATM. 10
In groups,
• study the Outcome Statements for three ATMs (1, 4, 8) of the LPF for Writing; and
• identify the aspects of progression in the Outcome Statements for Writing.
Activity 1
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Relationship between
Outcome Statements and Pointers
Pointers tell what students are
able to do at each ATM.
Outcome statements
Pointers 12
Progression of Learning Outcomes for Writing - Content
ATM 8
Writing texts to convey
information, ideas,
personal
experiences and opinions on familiar and less familiar topics with substantial elaboration
ATM 1
Completing blanks in short texts to convey simple
information centred around objects,
people and actions
ATM 4
Writing short texts to convey simple
information,
ideas, personal experiences
and opinions on familiar topics with some
elaboration
Complexity of information & ideas Range of purposes
Familiarity of topics Length of texts
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Progression of Learning Outcomes for Writing - Organisation
ATM 8
Linking ideas coherently throughout the text, and showing
effective overall
organisation of ideas
ATM 1
Putting words under
appropriate headings/
topics
ATM 4
Linking ideas quite coherently in a short text, and showing an awareness of overall
organisation of ideas
Overall organisation of ideas
Linkage between ideas &
across paragraphs
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Progression of Learning Outcomes for Writing - Language
ATM 8
Using a wide range of
appropriate and accurate language
forms and
functions, and appropriate tone, style, register and features of a range of text types
ATM 1
Using some simple words quite
appropriately, and showing an awareness of some
simple formats
ATM 4
Using a small range of quite appropriate and accurate
language forms and functions, and quite
appropriate tone, style, register and features of
some text types
Appropriateness of text type features
Range of vocabulary and language forms &
functions
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CONTENT
The outcome statements show the progression in terms of:
• Complexity of information and ideas
• Length of texts
• Familiarity of topics
ORGANISATION
The outcome statements show the progression in terms of:
• Linkage between ideas within and across paragraphs
• Overall organisation of ideas
LANGUAGE
The outcome statements show the progression in terms of:
• Language forms and functions used at different levels of writing
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Outcome Statements
Underlying Principles
Pointers provide specific examples of what learners are able to do in
demonstrating the Learning Outcomes. 17
write short and simple stories
write stories with a setting, a simple
plot and simple characterisation
write stories with a clear setting, and
some
development of plot and characters
write stories with a clear setting, a well-developed
plot and good characterisation to
achieve the purpose effectively
• Progression of Pointers for Writing
Establish links using some simple cohesive
devices (e.g. simple connectives, pronouns)
with some consistency
Establish links within some paragraphs using
a range of cohesive devices with some
consistency
Establish strong links within and across paragraphs using a wide range of cohesive
devices with consistency
• Progression of Pointers for Writing
use simple present, simple past (mainly
familiar verb forms), present continuous and future tenses with
some consistency
use a small range of tenses with some consistency
use a range of tenses and the passive voice with
(some) consistency
use various tenses and the passive voice for various
purposes with consistency
• Progression of Pointers for Writing
Outcome Statements
Underlying Principles
UPs elucidate some of the learning
objectives which do not lend themselves to the description in terms of 8 levels of
attainment. 21
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• the language development strategies, generic skills, and positive values and attitudes;
• the meaningfulness and appropriateness of the written texts to the context, purpose and audience;
• the development of writing strategies:
– Generating ideas by brainstorming or seeking and selecting information and ideas from different sources
– Asking questions to clarify and seek information for correction – Editing drafts by correcting errors in language
– Revising drafts by adding, deleting, substituting or linking ideas – Reflecting on own writing based on feedback from teachers /
peers
The Underlying Principles in the progression of
Writing Skills form an integral part of the LPF and include:
Underlying Principles
Setting objectives
Identifying strengths and weaknesses of learners
…with reference to the LPF for writing
Practical Tips
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To provide suggestions on improving
the design of the writing tasks based on
the learning outcomes articulated in
the LPF to enhance writing skills and
foster creative thinking
Helping Students Progress
• Making good use of the LPF to develop students’
writing skills
• Improving the design of writing activities based on the learning outcomes articulated in the LPF to
encourage imagination and foster creative thinking
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1. Read the instructions of a writing task. Discuss in groups and share your ideas.
2. Review the writing activities for the task and read a sample of the writing performance of the average
S3 students in a school.
3. Decide if the writing activities provide adequate teacher support to help students make progress in the development of the writing skills. Make suggestions on how the writing activities can be improved.
Activity 3
1. Read lists of precautionary measures for typhoons. Classify each measure as what can be done before, during, and after a typhoon.
2. Label each picture with a suitable weather-related word from the list.
3. Listen to the weather forecast in the evening. Note down the weather forecast for major cities in Asia.
Writing Activities
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Typhoon
Writing Performance of an Average Student
Analysis of students’ work
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Teacher’s comments:
• Better organisation required
• Ideas are mediocre and lack originality
• Lots of grammatical mistakes. Please proofread!
C2 L2 O2
Do the pre-writing activities provide adequate teacher support to help students:
• organise ideas for the writing task?
• develop ideas for the writing task?
• develop the language needed for the writing task?
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What is your approach to the learning and teaching of writing?
How to enhance students’ writing skills…
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Helping Students Progress
• Improving the design of writing activities based on the learning outcomes articulated in the LPF to encourage imagination and foster creative thinking
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Helping students
make progress in Organisation
Language Content
Analysis of students’ work
LPF
for Writing
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Strengthen Content Input
Guiding students to generate and organise ideas on a given topic
Preparing students to apply the vocabulary related to typhoons to the story
Providing an opportunity to develop students’ creative thinking skills
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Weather forecast
No School
Sleep
Play
What do students usually write?
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There are many strategies helping students enrich the content…
1. Creative thinking tools 2. Image prompts
3. Writing prompts 4. Shared-writing
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Consolidating students’ knowledge on selected vocabulary which they may use in the final writing task
Equipping students with some vocabulary building strategies
Providing students with phrases/expressions to describe typhoon scenes
Strengthen Language Input
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Label each picture with a suitable weather-related word from the list.
Downpour Flood
Drizzle Drought Freezing Foggy Hail
Snowflake Blizzard
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Adding details to a given idea for further development.
The thrilling experience was more like a theme park as people gathered by the pier to be drenched by the
enormous waves crashing against the wall…
Helping Students Make Progress in Language
Where did people have fun on typhoon days?
People gathered by the pier.
What did people do to have fun?
People got wet by the waves.
People gathered by the pier to get drenched by the enormous waves.
What was the experience like? Was there any danger? Show what you saw, heard & felt.
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Watch the news clip “Typhoon Usagi brings havoc to Hong Kong and southern China”.
Based on what you watch, build a mind map to show the effects of typhoon, the damage, and the safety caution needed.
Damage Trees toppled
Causing deaths
Cars blown off roads Depriving tens
of thousands of power
Battering the city
Struck the coast
Effect on weather Paralysed airport leaving travellers stranded
Fun
Drenched by spray from enormous waves
Safety
Moved to safety Stay at
home
Take precautions
Concept Map
Bringing heavy rain and winds
Please refer to the worksheet for 39
the writing task
Revisit Story Structure to add interest to the plot
Resolution Climax
Falling Action Rising
Action
Exposition
Helping Students Make Progress in Organisation
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To provide hands-on activities on identifying
students’ strengths and weaknesses in writing and
giving quality feedback
Assessment for learning
• Assessment for Learning integrates assessment into learning and teaching. It assists students to
understand what they are learning, what they have attained, and what is expected of them, and helps teachers collect evidence of students’ learning so that teachers can provide students with timely feedback and refine their teaching strategies.
(English Language Education Key Learning Area Curriculum Guide 2016).
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Five key strategies of assessment for/as learning
1. Identify and clarify learning goals and success criteria
Where the learner is going
2. Engineer effective classroom discussions and other learning tasks that elicit information about student learning
Where the learner is now
3. Provide descriptive feedback that moves learners forward 4. Through targeted instruction and guidance, engage students
as learning resources for one another
5. Through targeted instruction and guidance, help students understand what it means to ‘own’ their own learning, and empower them to do so
What the learner needs to get there
Ontario. Ministry of Education. (2010). Growing success: Assessment, evaluation, and reporting in Ontario schools.
Toronto: Author. [p.32-36]
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Teacher Peer
Self
The use of the LPF
shifts the focus from the content to its outcomes, which places emphasis on learners
provides a common “language” and “tool” for teachers to use in the learning, teaching and assessment process
explains what is expected of students in terms of:
- where are they now? (existing strengths and weaknesses) - where are they going? (goals)
- where to next? (“feedback” /“feedforward”)
How could teachers bring about improvement to their writing skills?
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Classroom Writing Assessment
• Writing assessment should maximise its formative potential so that it can be used to promote student learning through:
Adopting process writing Providing effective feedback Promoting peer/self assessment
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The Process Approach
“A process approach to writing is recommended”(Eng Lang C&A Guide, CDC 2007, p.83).
“
Methodologies entirely focusing on language errors are hardly adequate in improving learners’ abilities”
(Syllabuses for Secondary Schools Eng Lang, CDC 1999, p.95).
The process approach:
The purpose of a piece of writing is stressed Students behave like writers in real life
Teachers will try to extend the readership and readers will respond to writing (review)
Single drafting is to be replaced by multiple drafting
Materials developed by Dr Icy LEE for the Empowerment Workshop 47
Teaching Writing: two views?
Product-oriented
• Write as a learner
Process-oriented
• Write like an author
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Process-oriented writing
Prewriting
-Analysing purpose
& audience
-Brainstorming ideas
Writing
-Organisation -Word choice
-Sentence fluency
Responding
-Teacher conference -Self/Peer evaluation
Revising
-Enriching content / Clarifying
-Using precise language
Editing
-Making changes to spelling, punctuation, grammar
construction
Publishing
-Bulletin board -School website -Public reading
Adapted from: http://faculty.uoit.ca/hughes/Writing/WritingProcess.html 49
• Focus on ideas first
• Build on what writers know and have done
• Get writers to think how to improve their writing
• Resist making judgments about the writing
Sample Conference Questions
Tell me more about that.
What’s the most important thing you’re trying to say?
What’s your favourite part? How can you build on it?
How could you find out more about your topic?
Is all this information important? What parts don’t you need?
Why is this significant to you?
What do you want your reader to know or feel at the end of your piece? 50
Teacher feedback
Teachers “must avoid providing detailed editing
comments on the surface form without paying attention to organisational and content issues” (Syllabuses for
Secondary Schools English Language, CDC 1999, p.94).
“Teachers need not correct all the mistakes in learners’
work. Total correction is time-consuming for the teacher and discouraging for the learners, particularly when the latter sees their papers full of red ink” (Syllabuses for Secondary Schools English Language, CDC 1999, p.95).
“Teachers should give comments on the drafts they have collected from learners…They should make suggestions which will enable learners to carry out revisions in the areas of organisation, grammar and mechanics” (English Language C&A Guide (S4-S6), CDC and HKEAA 2007,
p.86).
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Use of Quality Feedback
Focused – Linked to
Learning Objectives
Diagnostic
Clear and Easy to Understand Constructive
Quality Feedback
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Typhoon Day
Last Friday, I was happy because I don't need to go to
school. Last Friday morning, I was playing computer games.
Suddenly, I heard a thounder. The thounder was very loud.
I was scared.
I go to the Hong Kong Observatory website to check the weather. Is Typhoon hitted Hong Kong? I was happy. I looked the TV news. It also play the Typhoon news. The reporter said the typhoon signal no 8 was up. The student should not went to school because it is dangerous.
My brother did not stay at home. He went to the street to saw how typhoon is and took a photo for me. He is
naughty. Although stayed at home was boring but I won't went out because it was thounder.
•ATM4 write simple stories
•ATM5 write stories with a setting, a simple plot and simple characterisation
With reference to the LPF, comment on the student’s performance
and suggest how he can improve the story
on the mentimeter.
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Activity 3(a)
Please refer to the worksheet for the writing task
Source: Territory-wide System Assessment, 2014: Report on the Basic
Competencies of Students in English Language, Key Stage 3 (HKEAA, 2014:
p.188)
Discussing with students how to improve their writing
Before the discussion:
Decide on the area to work on with students
during the discussion
Ask students strategic questions
after the discussion
Guide students to do their individual revisions after the discussion
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Alternative way to give feedback - Strategic questioning
• create motion
• create options
• help students gain new perspectives on how to improve
Oral
scaffolding
instructional conversations
(Lantolf, J) collaborative
dialogue (Swain, M &
Lapkin, S, 2000 & 2001)
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(Glasson, 2009)
Materials developed by Dr Cheri CHAN for the Empowerment Workshop 57
When students are on the right track,
teachers can ask:
• Why do you think that…?
• How do you know that…?
• Can you show me what you mean?
• What might be an example of that?
• Can you tell me more about…?
When students need to consider other
possibilities:
• Is it possible that…?
• What if I said that…?
• What if you looked at this from X’s
point of view?
• Would you still say that…?
• So, what might happen if…?
When teachers want to engage other
learners:
• Who agrees with this point?
• Has anyone got another idea?
• Can anyone tell me more?
• Does anyone want to ask X a question about his answer?
• Students have been asked to discuss how the story can be improved.
• In the following transcript, the teacher helps students think about how to create a better plot for the story. The teacher uses strategic questioning (highlighted in green) to help students focus on the learning intention of the lesson (to write a story with a better plot).
Source: Glasson, T (2009) Improving student achievement 58
T: Do you like this story?
Hailey: I don’t like it. It is not interesting. It does not have an ending…
T: Why do you think it does not have an ending?
Hailey: Um…it is so sudden.
T: Does that mean you think the writer has not finished the story?
Hailey: Yes.
T: And how you can tell that? What do you think the writer should write at the end?
Hailey: It said the brother went out. I want to know what happened to him.
T: Mmm Aiden, did you hold the same view?
Aiden: I think so…it is good to know what happened to the brother.
59
Prompting students to elaborate when they are on the right track
Engaging other learners
T: OK. How can we add that?
Aiden: I want to add the brother got hurt by broken glass in the storm.
T: So you want to describe what happened to the brother when he went out to take a photo during the typhoon?
Aiden: Yes.
T: Why do you think describing what happened to the brother during the typhoon will improve the story?
Aiden: It makes the story more exciting.
T: Exactly. It can be the high point of the story. We have learned about the different parts of a story. Do you know how we call this part of the story?
Aiden: Is it … climax?
T: That is right. Climax is a very important part of the story. We can make an impact with it. Can anyone tell me what we should
write after describing what happened to the brother? Cindy? 60 Prompting
students to elaborate when they are on the right track
Engaging other learners
Cindy: Um…I don’t know…
T: What if we describe what happened after the brother got hurt in the storm?
Cindy: He was saved by the policemen. Then we end the story.
T: That’s right. We all want to know what happened at the end. We have learned about different ways to end a story. Is it possible that we use one of them?
Cindy: …like…um…well…reflection?
T: Reflection! That’s a very good suggestion! Tell me how we can add a reflection, Cindy!
Cindy: I don’t really know how to add it…
T: Well, a reflection can be what we have learnt from the story.
What have we learnt from what happened to the brother?
Cindy: …Um…we should not go out…when it is typhoon.
T: Great. We can add a reflection, like “Although it is boring to spend the whole day at home, we had better stay indoors when
there is a typhoon.” 61
Guiding students to think about other
possibilities
Guiding students to think about other
possibilities
Share your views:
1. How can strategic questions help students improve their writing?
2. Would you use strategic questions when you teach writing? Why or why not?
Activity 3(b)
62
Why use strategic questions in class when you teach writing?
To encourage students to think aloud as they are evaluating a text with the teacher’s support (this will model the thinking process for the weaker students)
To encourage students to engage in the thinking process by giving reasons, examples,
clarifications and elaborations to defend their thinking
But you need to formulate the questions in advance
(Glasson, 2009)
Materials developed by Dr Cheri CHAN for the Empowerment Workshop 63
Other strategies to promote assessment for/as learning
What will make classroom teaching time more learning focused?
Wait time Think time
Turn to your partner Think/pair/share
Discussion e.g. speed conferencing (e.g. 1 mins) Hands down
Materials developed by Dr Cheri CHAN for the Empowerment Workshop 64
Peer / self-evaluation as an integral part of process pedagogy
• Teachers should share learning goals and success
criteria explicitly with students, so that students know what they are working towards in their writing.
• They can use success criteria / checklists to help students improve drafts in progress.
• They can set personal learning goals, engage in self and/or peer evaluation, and reflect on and monitor their own learning, so that assessment can become a powerful tool to promote learning, serving the
purposes of assessment for and as learning (Earl, 2013).
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When designing the success checklists, Teachers should:
• identify the requirements for each task in terms of the three domains in the LPF to develop task-specific assessment rubrics;
• acknowledge students’ attempts and efforts
(e.g. in the “risks” they take in expressing ideas in English, even though this means making
more grammatical mistakes in writing); and
• suggest what students can do in order to improve their writing.
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In groups:
1. Read the checklists/evaluation forms.
2. Comment on their effectiveness in helping students to improve their writing.
Activity 4
68
Compare the two assessment forms.
Which one do you prefer? Why?
Materials developed by Ms Rebecca Farmer
for the PDP on Assessment For/As Learning 69
How do the evaluation forms help learners improve their writing?
Materials developed by Ms Rebecca Farmer for the PDP on Assessment For/As Learning 70
FROM… Bringing about Improvement to a Draft
TO… Facilitating Progressive Development of Writing Skills
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Possible Steps in Using the LPF to Enhance Students’ Writing Skills
Identify the requirements for each task in terms of the three domains in the LPF.
Develop a task-specific feedback sheet and set assessment criteria based on the task requirements.
Help Ss develop strategies to approach the writing tasks, e.g.
highlighting keywords, drawing a mind map, structuring the text.
Ask Ss to complete the first draft independently. OR Help Ss develop the first draft through appropriate teaching strategies, e.g. shared writing.
Guide Ss to improve their draft through conducting a teacher conference or peer/self evaluation.
Provide constructive feedback on Ss’ work with reference to the LPF.
1
2 3 4 5
6
72Using the LPF to
Enhance Learning and Teaching
To provide reference for understanding
students’ learning progress
To plan and review
To help students progress along the learning continuum
To provide a
checklist of dos and don’ts in each and every lesson
To record only
To set benchmarks
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