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teacher said to us, but I seldom speak English in class. When the teacher asks questions, many other classmates always actively answer his questions. But I can’t!
I feel so nervous because I don’t know what I can say. And I’m not sure if the teacher could understand me! I don’t answer questions unless the teacher only asked me. I really envy those who can respond questions right away.
(Interview#1, September 15, 2008) Though Teresa liked the foreign teachers’ class and hoped to participate in
English discussion more actively like other classmates, she could not adapt herself to the quick discussion in English. No confidence in expressing herself clearly was another factor which stopped her from speaking English in class. Therefore, compared her behaviors in other classes, Teresa became more quiet and not willing to express her thinking in English class.
Phase1: Feeling interested and less stressed in communicating in English
Before the intercultural project, Teresa had few experience of communicating with people in English through emails or blogs. Therefore, Teresa told me that during Phase 1, she thought talking with people in English on the blog was a totally new experience for her. Besides, at that time Teresa just learnt how to use and visit blogs so she felt excited to use the new tool to practice English. “I never talked to other in English on blogs so I thought it must be interesting to talk with them [international partners] in English on blogs,” she said in the sixth interview (January 20, 2009).
Thus, at Phase1, she showed her interest in communicating with the international partners by asking many questions.
(1)Our school has seven classes in 2~6 grades [sic], six classes in 1 grades [sic].
There are 23~29 students in a class.
How many students are there in your school? How many students are there in a class? (Blog comment on “A day at my school”, September 18, 2008) (2) My favorite subjects are physical education class, art class, and computer class. How about your students? What are there [their] [sic] favorite subjects?
(Blog comment “A day at my school”, September 28, 2008)
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The sentence structure “How many…” and “My favorite subject is… ” was the important sentence structures she had already learnt in fifth grade when they just learn how to introduce their learning courses in English. Teresa’s questions show that she tried to ask international partners questions with the sentences structures and words she had learnt in school. When the researcher asked her what she thought about using the sentences and words she had learnt to communicate with partners, she said,
I think it’s better than just writing the same sentences for many times! I think English becomes more practical (Interview#2, October 30, 2008).
Teresa thought applying the English structures she learnt to the real
communication with international partners was more effective and meaningful than mechanical drills. Besides, she also mentioned that she felt more secure in the asynchronous communication in blog environment because she could avoid the pressure of instant communication and fear of communicating in English, and took her time to fit in the intercultural discussion.
I feared to talk with my teacher in English but [on the blogs] I was not nervous to use English to interact with international partners because they did not expect me to respond to them right away. I could take time to understand their articles and think how I could reply them. I could also use animations, pictures, and videos to say what I wanted to say. Practicing English in this way made me less nervous because I did not have to worry I would say anything wrong and too nervous to say anything. Now learning English is more interesting and practical for me (Interview#6, January 20, 2009).
It could be seen that, shielded by the computer screen, she did not have worry about making mistake or making fool of herself and was willing to participate in the discussion than she was in face-to-face classroom.
Phase 2: Being overwhelmed by lots of English posts
Although at the beginning Teresa was highly interested in practicing English through blog communication, soon she noticed that interacting with international partners turned into a heavy burden. During Phase 2, when Teresa read international
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partners’ posts introducing their learning courses, she found more and more words in her partners’ post which were beyond her comprehension. She said, “I could not understand many words in American partners’ posts, so sometimes I did not understand what they said” (Interview#5). Facing the English posts with lots of unfamiliar words made her feel insecure because she felt her English abilities were challenged. Besides, Teresa found that it was getting harder and harder to respond to her partners’ posts. The main factor of her problem could be that she used only one strategy to reply to her partners’ post: asking questions. For example, in one of her replies, she wrote,
To dear Cammi, Amani, Meschack, Andrew and Lindsey Your videos are cool!
But I have some questions to ask you:
What do you do in the morning work?
What are you favorite subject?
(Blog comment on “A day at my school”, October 4, 2008) In the sixth interview, she indicated why she only asked questions in her comment.
In our English classes, we usually practice how to ask questions and answer questions in English. When English teachers talk to us, they always ask us questions and expect us to tell them the right answers. We seldom practice how to express our personal feelings (Interview#6, January 20, 2009).
Because Teresa did not have the opportunity of learning to express personal feelings in English, she did not know how to disclose what she really feels when writing blog posts or comments. Thus she found that she had difficulties expressing her opinions for extending the discussion thread. It seemed that her lack of training in using different communicative skills stopped her from communicating with others and engaging in further discussions. Teresa became more frustrated when she knew some of other participants had no problems writing English comments. She said “I can’t believe they could write comments so fast,” (Interview#6, January 20, 2009). She told me that she felt stressful when she thought her English was not as good as other
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students who had no problems blogging with others in English. She also confessed that, compared to her excitement at the beginning, she was not so motivated to comment on the blog and felt even more anxious than she was in face-to-face classroom.
If I don't know what to say in the classroom, at least the teacher would give me some clues through his body [language] or helped me to finish my sentences.
But [when I have difficulties expressing myself in English on the blog,] no one told me what to do. It really made me feel uncomfortable.
(Interview#6, January 20, 2009) It was obvious that her deficiency in English communication skills and her anxiety caused by the lack of assistance and social clues greatly influenced her motivation for talking with international partners and confidence in her English communication skills.