Chapter 6 ICTs adoptions as emotional needs
6.1 Polymedia: choosing between digital technologies/ICTs
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Chapter 6 ICTs adoption as emotional needs
6.1 Polymedia: choosing between digital technologies/ICTs
The previous chapter discusses the key features of self-images that the daughters present in transnational family communication. This chapter then examines the type of tools they use to conduct the above communication. In particular, this study draws on Miller and Madianou’s (2012) concept of polymedia when analyzing how the daughters choose between different tools in response to different emotions and structures of feelings. The concept of polymedia highlights individuals’ abilities to reconfigure the relationships between persons and also to create different emotional repertoires and registers. Transnational daughters in the study adopted various communication techniques to maintain intergenerational relationships based on their emotional needs, which are caused by a sense of missing and a sense of guilt from being absent in their families. Most transnational daughters mainly use text-based communication and video calls through Line or Skype to satisfy their emotional needs.
6.2 Video calls: Longing for seeing you and loving daughters
Video calls are perceived as the most direct and catchy medium, and is appropriated for facilitating a sense of co-presence and conveying realism. The video calls are not only interactive, but also provides strong visual cues that are able to express facial expressions and tones of voice. In this study, video calls are adopted to ease the sense of longing by seeing their parents, and to create a sense of co-presence
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across borders by transnational daughters.
You don’t know people’s emotions while you use voice calls. When you see a person’s face, you would know the person’s emotions at that moment…I always have video calls while using Skype. Even though I don’t always look at them, they know where I am which can make them feel calm (Jolin).
I realize that I have not seen them for so long, so I adopt video calls to talk to them. I used to have video calls, because it made me feel better while I saw them (Home).
I prefer video calls because I can see their face directly.
And they can see me as well. I feel released when I am having video calls with them (Peggy).
I called my mother for the very first time this year without any reason…But I just want to know what she is doing at that time…Because I have no idea what they are doing which made me feel disconnected to them.
And my mom felt a little bit scared by my saying that’s why I called them (Tender).
The advantage of video calls is the ability to see my parents and my grandmother so that we can keep in touch with each other. It makes me feel like I am also in Taipei and I am not far away from them (Cat).
6.3 Text messages: expressing strong feelings clearly
Daughters prefer texting and typed chat to express love and the feelings of longing to their parent, such as I love you and I miss you, when it comes to their birthdays, Father’s Day and Mother’s Day. On these occasions, daughters are
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expected to be more expressive with regard to their emotions. In these cases, text-based communication is considered the most appropriate tool for several reasons.
First, text messages convey abstract feelings in a clearer fashion. Secondly, these families are reserved with regard to strong emotional expressions. Instead of face-to-face communication, texting is portrayed as a norm when it comes to emotionally expressive communication. Some transnational families that are perceived as more traditional families by the informants in this study tend to adopt text-based communication to express their feelings easily. And it is also easier to express their feelings and emotions to their parents on important days.
It is easier to express feelings through text messages.
Some words that are more emotional are difficult to express. So I usually use a text message to express my feelings instead. It is too difficult for my family to express their feelings…I usually use text messages to express emotional stuff (Tender).
I am a straightforward girl. I can whine to them by texting I love you or I miss you (Sara).
If I would like to express my strong feelings, I would adopt text messages. For example, show thankfulness to my parents in important days. I will cry if I call them, so I will write an email instead (Fancy).
It is easy to express some sweet words like love you or miss you through text messages or some cute stickers with plenty of hearts. Because I feel shy when I say it to them (Cat).
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6.4 Time strategies: ease a sense of guilt
In addition to easing the longing for seeing parents and expressing strong feelings, transnational daughters adopt a set of time-related strategies regarding their ICT uses to ease a sense of guilt in their minds. In addition to adopting different tools with regard to different emotional needs, many informants adopt ICTs with two strategies of time to compensate for their geographical absence from their families.
First, they adopt regular voice-based communication with video calls or voice calls on important days, such as Chinese New Year or parents’ birthdays. Second, they would contact their parents once they are available regardless of tools.
Calling them is the only thing I can do. I can’t buy them food. I can’t go out with them. I can’t chat with them.
Actually these are really simple. They just want me to accompany them. So I can only chat with them and don’t let them worry. That’s all I can do (Home).
I would call them on some important days such as Chinese New Year and birthdays. Sometimes I prepare gift for them. I will make a video for them while I am available. I think parents need to be cared for, so I think it is still important to call them often. Because they miss you as well! (Fancy).
I think I still have to perform as a daughter who won’t let them worry and won’t let them get mad. I know I can’t accompany them, so I would call them every week at least to compensate my absence (Janny).
I think I would try to let them feel calm. That means I would think of them when I decide to do something. I will chat with them on the weekends. When I go
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traveling, I will write postcards, which will make them feel I care about them (Candy).
6.5 Summary
In summary, transnational daughters have regular contact with their parents through various uses of ICTs. The process of choosing between different mediums is shaped by diverse emotional experiences in transnational families. While the emotions of missing and longing can be eased by video calls, strong emotional expressions are not meant to be revealed in video chats. Text-based communication replaces video calls in these situations as reserved communication of feelings serves as a norm in these families. Instead of choosing different tools, strategies in time are addressed in easing a sense of guilt caused by absence.
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Chapter 7 Comparison: Mother-daughter and Father-daughter relationships
7.1 Introduction
This chapter compares transnational communication between mother-daughter and father-daughter relationships. This comparative approach is addressed less in the literature of ICTs and transnational family studies.
7.2 Active mothers and passive fathers
Most transnational parents in this study have ability to use ICTs, such as Facebook, Line and email, due to their social lives with friends and coworkers.
Furthermore, the findings indicate that unlike traditional mothers who are less familiar with ICTs and need to be taught by their spouses, as examined by previous research (Kang, 2012), mothers in this study have higher digital literacy in social media than fathers and have regular interaction with their transnational daughters in cross border families. Mothers contact their daughters actively in intergenerational communication.
It is definitely my mom. She knows a lot about new technology. She knows social media and communication stuff and she often uses these tools to interact with her friends, while my father prefers his iPad and other technical stuffs, such as electronic books (Pinky).
My mom is better than my father at platforms such as Messenger and Skype. She taught my father in the beginning (Jolin).
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My mom uses social media more than my father. She knows how to download stickers; my father just knows some basic skills, such as texting (Cat).
Mothers, who have higher digital literacy in social media, maintain close intergenerational relationships with transnational daughters. These mothers not only have relatively active and positive conversation with their daughters, but also attempt to create closer family ties in transnational communication.
My mom is more active to arrange family group calls every weekend. She would ask everyone the time we are available this week in a family group to have family group video calls (Janny).
My father is the least active family member in a family group. My mom who is the most active member in the group would ask everything there. It is like a living room which makes me feel like at home (Tender).
My mom hopes that we can be more active in the family group, because she would feel calm (Yammy).
She texts messages to me very often. She usually texts that it is a pity that you are not with us on Mother’s day and someone’s birthday. She often says that they all miss me a lot (Pinky).
Compared with mothers, most fathers tend to be more passive in transnational intergenerational communication, even though fathers also care about daughters beyond borders very much. Therefore, mothers would help fathers to communicate with their daughters by updating the fathers about their daughter’s daily lives.
Mothers would also remind daughters to take care of their fathers’ emotional needs in order to maintain father-daughter relationships and create closer relationships between
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talking to her, my father is always with my mother. My mother often asks me to contact my father. He would stop talking for a while when he is talking to me, and he would give the phone to my mom at the end (Pinky).I usually have video calls with my mother. If my father is with my mother, he would come to say hello to me. My father gets my information from my mother. My mom would remind me of my father’s birthday, and she also asks me to care more about my father when he is not feeling well (Cat).
I usually contact with my mother. My father is with her.
My family is more traditional. My father is not that communication than her mother:
My mother is not like other normal mothers. She is not that worried about me. My father is more like a mother, so he calls to me often. He is really talkative and social (Jolin).
In transnational intergenerational communication, fathers, who are expected to maintain masculine roles and are expected to perform as distant but loving fathers in a family, generally take up a relatively passive role; mothers, who are expected to
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perform as the active contact person, maintain transnational family relations through ICTs.
In sum, intergenerational communication is affected by the expectations on the gendered family roles of mothers and fathers. Mothers, who are expected to become the main contact person in the contexts of traditional gender roles, perform as relatively active communicators than fathers. Mothers create a sense of family bonding through ICT use, which leads to closer transnational mother-daughter relationships than father-daughter relationships. Fathers take up a relatively passive role in transnational intergenerational relationships so that mothers become a mediator between fathers and daughters by requiring daughters to care for their fathers actively.
7.3 Text messages with the fathers
Text-based communication, which is often perceived as a relatively less intimate method of communication because of its lack of facial expressions, is often adopted by daughters and fathers in transnational intergenerational communication. Most informants in this study indicated that they love each other and care about each other very much. However, it is difficult for both fathers and daughters to adopt communication methods that feature clear, strong expressions of intimate emotions, such as voice calls and video calls, to contact each other.
My father would feel awkward when he calls me. He can’t have long conversations. He usually asks typical questions, such as how are you, did you have a meal.
The funniest thing is that he asks me whether I have enough money or not. And this is the ending question during the conversation (Pinky).
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I don’t have video calls with him actually. Because we don’t have many things to share with each other. It would be embarrassing if we have video calls (Cat).
Strong emotions between fathers and daughters are expressed in text-based communication. Transnational daughters express care and love to their fathers in text-based communication. To respond to their daughters, fathers also adopt text-based communication to express care.
I posted greetings on my father’s Facebook wall last Father’s Day. He replied to me by encouraging me instead of replying thank you on Facebook. I think this is his way of responding (Tender).
I think my father doesn’t know how to express his feelings. I email to him, and he will reply to me with his full heart (Fancy).
But if he knows about the weather in Holland on the news, he would let me know that in the text message (Cat).
Fathers, who are expected to be less emotionally expressive, prefer text-based communication while communicating with their daughters in order to fulfill the normative role of an Asian father.
7.4 Voice and video calls with the mothers
Transnational daughters mainly tend to adopt voice-based communication to communicate with their mothers. The daughters usually have closer relationships with their mothers, with whom they feel they can share everything through ICTs.
Daughters also actively share information about their daily lives, which may be perceived as trivial things, and their emotions with their mothers.
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My mother cares about her children’s daily lives, and my father likes to talk about norms and disciplines. She can tell me what happened to my family recently, such as some trivial things. I usually talk to my mother first when I am calling back, because I think my mother is the main contact person (Home).
[My mom and I] are really close to each other. We have calls every day through Line and talk about everything in detail, like I will tell her I am going to the supermarket and will be back later (Cat).
My mother and I are close to each other. I share many things with her. I would tell my mother about my important decisions, because she can ease my negative emotions (Candy).
7.5 Summary
In summary, transnational daughters tend to maintain transnational intergenerational mother-daughter and father-daughter relationships through different ICTs in transnational intergenerational communication. The rationales behind choosing different mediums for different intergenerational relationships are shaped by the specific intimate relationships between daughters and their parents. Meanwhile, intergenerational communication is shaped by expectations surrounding different family roles as well. In most cases, mothers become the more active main contact person in intergenerational communication compared to fathers because they are expected to maintain family relations. While fathers, who are expected to perform a distant but loving role, take up a relatively passive role in intergenerational communication. Text-based communication, which is less direct in expressing emotions, is often adopted in father-daughter transnational relationships, as daughters
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and fathers have strong emotions, but both of them have difficulty in expressing their strong feelings directly. Mother-daughter relationships, on the other hand, are more often maintained through voice-based communication, which is more instant and direct.
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Chapter 8 Conclusion
8.1 Transnational family communication and ICTs
The transnational family, in which familial relations reside and develop across borders, is becoming more common globally. The feminization of labor migration from developing to developed countries, often from Southeast Asian to Western countries, has increased female participation in the flows of transnational families. In recent years, female migrants from East Asia, such as Japan, China, and Taiwan have also caused the flow of transnational labor to become increasingly feminized, especially through the forms of study and work. Such migration has also become a common career move for women as the student diaspora from middle-upper class families. The increasing population of female migrants from Taiwan with high levels of education and skills have led to forms of transnational families.
With the convenience of overseas transportation and the advantages of ICTs, individuals who leave their countries of origin and work overseas adopt various ICTs with certain strategies to communicate with their family members and friends, to maintain intimate relationships, and practice familial and social roles in the context of transnationalism. Furthermore, the concept of polymedia (Madianou and Miller, 2012) highlights that users have the ability to adopt different kinds of media on the basis of their own personal and emotional reasons. Meanwhile, migrants intend to control ICTs to maintain their relationship with their families by taking advantage of what each medium offers beyond borders.
This study examines transnational intergenerational communication mediated by ICTs in the context of Taiwanese female migrants. To do so, this study focuses on
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unmarried adult female migrants who have stable jobs with permanent residence or permanent working visas in the Netherlands, which has the closest economic and social ties with Taiwan among other European countries. Enlightened by the implications of polymedia, this study has demonstrated that transnational daughters adopt various ICT tools to communicate with their parents. The rationales underlying their choice of tools include time difference, a daughter’s working hours, and the digital literacy of parents. Moreover, this study has also indicated that transnational daughters adopt various ICTs to satisfy different emotional needs. Text-based communication, such as text messages and emails, is generally used to express strong feelings clearly, while voice-based and video-based communication are adopted to satisfy the feelings of longing to see each other.
The daughters also adopt different ICTs for mother-daughter and father-daughter relationships. While father-daughter communication relies more on text-based media, mother-daughter relationships are more often mediated through voice- and video-based tools. This echoes the differences in family roles between mothers and fathers. As fathers tend to be less emotionally expressive, father-daughter communication less often involves direct, instant audio-visual interaction.
The contents of intergenerational communication are shaped by family expectations. Single adult daughters are expected to look for a boyfriend with the
The contents of intergenerational communication are shaped by family expectations. Single adult daughters are expected to look for a boyfriend with the