37
Know More: Friendship troubles and corresponding
38
Summary
As our age and life experience increases with years, we will meet friends of different types and friends of different levels of closeness. Remember, friendship does not happen instantly. Friendship deepens when shared experiences between friends accumulate over time. It takes time for acquaintances to become intimate friends.
Friendship forever sounds wonderful, but it is not easy to maintain it. To keep friendship strong, we need to help and love each other, respect each other, have empathy, understand our friends from their perspectives, and be considerate of each other’s difficulties. We may misunderstand each other due to some reasons or may argue over trivial matters, causing the relationship to fall apart. But
as long as we communicate with each other in a sincere manner, tolerate and trust each other, we believe that we will finally be reconciled with each other.
What matters most in friendship is communication which connects the heart and soul of friends. Friendship is not differentiated by the status of people involved or the distance between them. Also, strong friendship will not be easily influenced by material benefits. Friendship that is built on material benefits or rewards is likely to be superficial and short-lived. It will end when one or more of the people involved is not able to benefit from the relationship. True friendship requires giving. One needs to think about what one can give to enhance the relationship.
39
Resource 7: Friendship (Lessons 3 & 4)
Learning and Teaching Materials
Worksheet 3: The influence of peer pressure Peer pressure
The importance of friendship to young people is unquestionable, and the influence of peers is also profound.
Because teenagers value friendship, it is inevitable that they will be influenced by friends in the process of getting together with them. This kind of influence exerted by peers is called peer pressure. Peer pressure stems from young people’s desire to gain acceptance and recognition from others, and their fear of being excluded, neglected, repelled or teased. As a result, they may abandon their own feelings, ideas, behaviours or values, etc., just to cater to friends or make choices that conform to others. The need to conform gradually builds up pressure. Some teenagers even think that peer relationships are the main source of stress.
Conformity is a type of social influence involving individuals who choose to follow the opinions, judgments, or values of the majority under group pressure in an attempt to resolve conflicts in exchange for a sense of security. In the stage of adolescence, the main reason for conformity is peer pressure, because young people do not know how to deal with conflicts between friends, and what is more, they are unwilling to be isolated, and are eager for the recognition and support of their peers. Excessive conformity will make young people resolutely abandon their own ideas, choose to follow others, do things against their will, and as a result, lose themselves and make themselves confused. Therefore, young people must learn to uphold principles and balance the needs of individuals and groups with caution
.
The teacher asks students to finish Worksheets 3-4 before class and then carries out a discussion activity and makes a conclusion during class.
40
If you were Ka Yan, would you help Wai Wai conceal her fault?
Yes
No Reason:⚫ Concealing the faults of others is not the right thing to do.
⚫ Ka Yan should not just care about the friendship with Wai Wai and give up her integrity without considering the teacher's expectations.
⚫ Also, Ka Yan should not become part of the wrongdoing, and as a friend, she has the responsibility to persuade Wai Wai to honestly admit her faults to the teacher.
Activity 1: “Befriend” you or “lure” me
The influence of peers on our growth cannot be ignored. Due to their limited knowledge, life experience and self-control, excessive conformity is more likely to occur in young people. They tend to blindly follow friends’ requests, or join their friends in doing something inappropriate or even illegal. Now, let us watch a simulation video clip to understand the crisis of choice caused by peer pressure.
Do you know how to choose friends? Watch the Video-based Learning and Teaching Resources on Values Education “Reason and Sentiment Series 2:
Episode 5: The most popular classmate”, and then answer the questions that follow.
Story introduction
The main character, Ka Yan, is a transfer student who failed to make friends in the class at the beginning of the transfer. With the careful arrangement of the teacher, Ka Yan gradually established friendship with her classmates and started a happy school life.
But when she was performing a new task assigned by the teacher, she clashed with her classmates, making it difficult for Ka Yan to choose among “responsibility”, “integrity”
and “emot
Students watch the l Video-based Learning and Teaching Resources on Values Education “Reason and Sentiment Series 2: Episode 5: The most popular classmate” and finish the questions before class. The teacher shall watch the video clip with the students again during class, and the teacher shall discuss the worksheet with students.
Video-based Learning and Teaching Resources on Values Education “Reason and Sentiment Series 2: Episode 5: The most popular classmate”
https://emm.edcity.hk/media/0_9zx83rsm
41
With reference to the video and your personal opinions, answer the following questions:
1. If you were Ka Yan, what would be your emotional reactions when facing peer pressure? Why?
For example:
- Sad. Because my friend was not considerate of my difficulties but used our friendship as an excuse for making me help conceal her faults.
- Mixed feelings. Did not know how to strike a balance between completing the tasks given by teacher and maintaining the friendship.
- Struggling. Did not know whether I should continue to adhere to the principles, and at the same time I did not want to lose the friendship just established.
- Feeling unfair. The original intention was to insist on completing the task given by the teacher, but it turned out that I was being excluded.
2. Under peer pressure, if Ka Yan wants to win Wai Wai’s friendship, what decision might she make? What adverse effects will the above decision have on Ka Yan?
- Under peer pressure, Ka Yan may decide to help Wai Wai conceal her faults of breaking the school rule at recess and failing to submit homework by not handing over the list to the teacher, so as to avoid being boycotted, excluded and bullied. However, this will make Ka Yan feel uncomfortable and conflicted.
3. If you were a good friend of Ka Yan, what advice would you give her?
- I would give Ka Yan the recommendation that she should continue to complete the tasks given by the teacher and encourage her not to violate her principles for friendship. At the same time, I would remind her that true friends will not let the other party fall into this dilemma. Also,as Wai Wai’s friend, she has the responsibility to persuade her to honestly admit her faults to the teacher.
42