Chapter 3: Two Ci
3.2 An Example of Ci
As mentioned previously, ingenious poetry of various lengths is strategically
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placed among the narratives throughout the story of Xiyouji to portray the current scenery, moods, atmosphere, seasons, and environments surrounding the characters.
Another excellent example of this can be found in chapter 9, where a short text in verse depicts the scenery of late spring.
和風吹柳綠，細雨點花紅。
《西遊記第九回頁三》
The idiom 細雨和風 originated from a poem written by Wei Zhuang 韋莊
(836-910) from late Tang Dynasty. The phrase 細雨 means fine rain, and 和風 refers to gentle breeze and has often been used as a synonym of spring wind. Willow trees sprout their new leaves in the spring and are often associated with the solar term of Qingming 清明 in the Chinese culture. Thus, “和風吹柳綠” illustrates such scenery as willows sprouting new leaves in the pleasant spring breeze.
Also a poet of late Tang Dynasty, Du Mu 杜牧(803-852) wrote a poem named Qingming and the first line 清明時節雨紛紛 has become a catchphrase to describe the light drizzle that often falls on around Qingming. The sentence 細雨點花紅 transmits the image that the spring flowers turn red in the light spring drizzle.
Although it is not stated what type of flowers the 花 refers to, it is disclosed that the color of the flowers is red. Cherry blossoms and peonies have long been the
representative flowers of March and April, respectively, and both are red in color.
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The verbs in these sentences 吹 and 點 add a magical touch to the verse in a sense that the warm breeze seems to urge the willow trees to grow leaves while the light rain dots the flowers with patches of red. It looks as if the natural elements of wind and rain have some magical powers to color the trees and flowers and give life to them. Three translations of the verse are available for comparison as follows:
Chart 8 和風吹柳綠，細雨點花紅。
A gentle wind fanned the green of the willows, a fine rain stabbed the red of the flowers. (Waley, p.86) A soft wind blew to green the willows,
and a fine rain spotted to redden the flowers. (Yu, vol.1 p.200) Warm breezes were coaxing the willows into green,
and light rain was touching the blossoms with red. (Jenner, vol.1, p.271)
Arthur Waley’s translation makes up a beautiful verse in its own right as his strategy draws a poetic scene with the willows being fanned by the wind and the flowers turning brighter red after each stab of the needle-like raindrop as if they were bleeding. It is a beautiful translation in a way that it helps a reader compose a mental image of ink and water painting with movements of the swaying willow and rain falling on flowers. But in this translation, the life giving moments are
missing—the willows were already green before the wind fanned and the flowers were already red before the rain stabbed.
In contrast, Yu and Jenner are both successful in conveying the life giving
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moments in their translations. In Anthony C. Yu’s translation, the phrases “blew to green” and “spotted to redden” successfully capture the magical powers the wind and the rain both appear to possess. It almost feels like the sole purpose of the soft wind and fine rain in Yu’s translation was to bring life to the plants. Although Yu’s translation of this verse proves to be quite successful, his choice of words such as
“blew” and “spotted” seems to be more practical than poetic. In contrast, despite W.J.F. Jenner’s more careful choice of words such as “warm breeze,” “coax,” “touch,”
and “blossoms,” there is a sense of confusion in his translation. As warm breezes were coaxing the willows into green and light rain was touching the blossoms with red, one cannot help but wonder what original colors the willows and the blossoms were before they were forcibly turned into green and red. Based on the above three translations by Waley, Yu, and Jenner, it can be observed that the translator’s
perspectives are indeed translated into their translations.
Actions such as 吹 and 點 in Chinese are not so difficult to translate into English as those are common movements and have direct equivalence in the English
language to closely match their meanings. Nevertheless, many verbs that are used in
Xiyouji need to be categorized as cultural specific terms that are used specifically by
the Chinese and can be quite tricky to translate into English. In Xiyouji chapter 8, Zhu Bajie meets Kuanyin 觀音菩薩 and explains that, before becoming a pig demon and65
festering the vicinity of the Fuling Mountain, he used to be a marshal in Heaven and that the reason for his eviction from Heaven was because he, in modern day English, got drunk 帶酒 and sexually harassed 戲弄 Chang’e, the Moon Goddess. Zhu Bajie’s account of the incident is as follows:
Chart 9
只因帶酒戲弄嫦娥，玉帝把我打了兩千鎚，貶下凡塵。
《西遊記第八回頁十二》
But getting drunk, I made love to some of the fairies, and was expelled back to earth. (Richard, p.114)
But one day I got a bit drunk and misbehaved with the Goddess of the Moon. For this the Jade Emperor had me soundly thrashed and banished me to the world below. (Waley, p.81-82)
Because I got drunk and dallied with the Goddess of the Moon, the Jade Emperor had me beaten with a mallet two thousand times and banished me to the world of dust. (Yu, vol.1, p.192)
Because I took some wine to seduce the moon maiden, the Jade Emperor sentenced me to two thousand hammer blows and exile in the mortal world. (Jenner, vol.1, p.255)
One day I got a little drunk and became cozy with the Goddess of the Moon. For this the Jade Emperor had me beaten two thousand times with a mallet and then banished me to the Lower Regions. (Kherdian, p.92)
Although Richard’s translation may strike one as blunt, it must be taken into account that the meanings of certain English phrases have changed with time.
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, “make love to” has a dated meaning of
“paying amorous attention to someone.” In this particular sense, Richard’s rendition of “I made love to some of the fairies” falls short of accurately reflecting the meaning of 戲弄嫦娥 since paying amorous attention to some fairies deviates from the source
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text. In addition, “back to earth” in Richard’s translation points out specifically that Zhu Bajie originally came from the human world, while in fact, he was always a general in heaven.
Yu’s translation of “dallied with” appears to wrongly imply that the Goddess of the Moon had a certain level of willingness to be involved in Zhu’s act. Though “the world of dust” in the same sentence is may be a nice direct translation of 凡塵, the foreignization technique may appear somewhat misleading to English readers as to what exactly the world of dust means. Jenner’s “seduce” creates the same problem of hinting mutual willingness to partake in the action, and the words “took some wine to” and “moon maiden” are clearly mistranslations of 帶酒 and 嫦娥; however, his rendering of “exile in the mortal world” is spot on for 貶下凡塵. Kherdian’s choice of using vague terms such as “become cozy with” and “Lower Regions” fails to help readers understand the sentence better.
Zhu Bajie’s behavior must have been deemed such a serious crime in Heaven that it caused him to be banished to Earth. Apparently Zhu Bajie is not ashamed of sharing this piece of information with others although he tries to tone it down and make it appear to be of a lesser offense. It is worth mentioning that the word 只 at the beginning of the sentence is regrettably left out in all the versions, it conveys a significant implication that Zhu Bajie is resentful of the severe punishments he
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received which he deemed disproportionate to his behavior. It is the author’s belief that, of the five versions, Waley’s choices of “a bit,” “misbehaved,” “for this,” and
“soundly” stay the most faithful to Zhu Bajie’s original tone—a near shameless statement to downplay his own misdeed.
Making comparisons of all five translations simultaneously offers great access and an overall view to each translator’s strategies and perspectives in handling the source texts and in producing the target texts. In the following sections, the
translation of the two ci which are available in all five English versions of Xiyouji will be compared and contrasted. Strengths and weaknesses in each version will be discussed; in addition, attention will be directed to the strategies and techniques that the translators use to solve translation problems, and how some of them build their versions upon previous ones.