Chapter 3: Two Ci
3.4 Ci Number Two
The second ci to be discussed is taken from Xiyouji chapter one where Sun Wukong spends a dozen years traveling across vast lands and seas in search for an immortal in the hopes of learning the secret of conquering death. As he wanders through a forest on top of a high mountain, he hears someone singing. The person singing a rhyme is a woodcutter whom has been taught a ci named Garden Full of
Blossoms 滿庭芳 by a neighbor residing on the same mountain, and it is later
revealed to Sun Wukong that the neighbor is the Taoist immortal, Subhuti. The lyrics of the song are as follows:75
The verses reflect the woodcutter’s philosophy towards life on top of his daily routine—collecting firewood in the forest, trading it in the market for rice and wine, leading a simple lifestyle, and befriending immortals with whom he discusses the secret of immortality. One major difficulty in translating this ci appears to be the translation of the phrase 黃庭 which refers to a Taoist study of immortality.
Chart 15
Ci Number 2: Timothy Richard’s Translation
觀棋柯爛，
When chess I play the haft is burnt, The trees are felled all one by one.
I pass the clouds and slowly mount I sell the wood and buy my wine I laugh with joy and cry self saved The way to heaven in harvest moon.
I sleep at foot of Tree of Life.
When I awake ‘tis heavenly day.
Old trees I know, steep hills I climb, Beyond the pass make for the plain.
With hatchet cut the withering vines, A bundle make of all my lot,
Then sing away on road to mart.
I buy my pints of daily rice,
And then, why grudge I have no more?
My price is fair, my price is fair.
Why should I worry to increase My fame or shame? Quite calm I live, Whoe’er I meet Immortal is,
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靜坐講黃庭。」 We sit and talk of heavenly themes.
(Richard, p.8)
There are a few mistranslations in Timothy Richard’s translation of this ci. First of all, that Richard translated 柯爛 into “the haft is burnt” is apparently erroneous, as 觀棋柯爛 refers to the woodsman’s act of spending such a long time watching
people play go that the handle of his axe starts to rot. It is a metaphor to describe the easy and slow-paced lifestyle the woodsman leads and has nothing to do with the handle of his axe being burnt. Also, the phrase 丁丁 is an onomatopoeia for the sound of chopping wood, but the sound is wrongly replaced with “all one by one.”
Richard’s translation of “why grudge I have no more” for 無些子爭競 misses the point as the source text states that there is nobody else to compete with him selling firewood in the marketplace. And since it is firewood that the woodsman is selling, the price 時價 for such ordinary item remains average 平平. Instead of a complaint, the tone of 時價平平 in the ci is more of a statement of contentment. In contrast, Richard’s translation of “my price is fair” in duplicate makes it sound like the woodsman is reassuring his buyers that the price he asks for is reasonable.
One also cannot help but spot in Richard’s translation all the Christian
terminology used for translating the verse: “cry self saved” for 自陶情, “the way to heaven” for 蒼逕, “tree of life” for 松, “heavenly day” for 天明, “immortal” for 仙 and
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道, and last but not least, “heavenly themes” for 黃庭. Richard’s strategy in
translating this ci is still Christian-oriented and based heavily on his religious beliefs and perspectives, and there is no specific logic behind what types of phrases might trigger his unique strategy. Richard is more focused on inserting his own points of view into his translation than manifesting the easygoing, carefree, and worry-free Taoist lifestyle and belief that are so apparent in this ci.
Chart 16
Ci Number 2: Arthur Waley’s Translation
觀棋柯爛，伐木丁丁，雲邊谷口徐行。
I hatchet no plot, I scheme no scheme;
Fame and shame are one to me, A simple life prolongs my days.
Those I meet upon my way Are Immortals, one and all,
Who from their quiet seats expound The Scriptures of the Yellow Court.
(Waley, p.16)
Arthur Waley chose not to translate the verses in full, but instead, he decided to freely create his own version of a concise ci by leaving out most of the mundane details of the woodsman’s life. However, the woodsman’s seemingly uneventful lifestyle reflects some of the core values of Taoism like minimizing desires, obtaining peace of mind, and maintaining innocence. Though the woodsman lives an ordinary life, his extraordinary philosophy towards life manifests itself in the words of the verses, and unfortunately, much of this is lost in Waley’s translation.
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Waley must have misunderstood the meaning of 靜坐 in the last line as he translated it into “from their quiet seats expound the Scriptures of the Yellow Court,”
his translation of “quiet seats” is mistaken. In 靜坐講黃庭, the phrases of 靜坐 and 講 are actually two different actions, the immortals the woodsman encounters would both “meditate” and “discuss” the scriptures of the Yellow Court. Waley’s “expound”
implies that a specific person of the group teaches and explains the scriptures, which is an explicit assumption that is not seen in the source text.
Chart 17
Ci Number 2: Anthony C. Yu’s Translation
觀棋柯爛，
I watch chess games, my ax handle’s rotted.
I chop at wood, chêng-chêng the sound.
I walk slowly by the cloud’s fringe at the valley’s entrance.
Selling my firewood to buy some wine, I am happy and laugh without restraint.
When the path is frosted in autumn’s height, I face the moon, my pillow the pine root.
Sleeping till dawn I find my familiar woods.
I climb the plateaus and scale the peaks To cut dry creepers with my ax.
When I gather enough to make a load, I stroll singing through the marketplace And trade it for three pints of rice, With nary the slightest bickering Over a price so modest.
Plots and schemes I do not know;
Without vainglory or attaint My life’s prolonged in simplicity.
Those I meet,
If not immortals, would be Taoists,
Seated quietly to expound the Yellow Court.
79 (Yu, vol.1 p.77)
Anthony C. Yu took great care to translate the second ci, and his translation is more successful in conveying the overall meanings and the key concepts when compared to the preceding translations done by Timothy Richard and Arthur Waley;
however, Yu’s translation still has room for improvement. Yu translated 伐木丁丁 into
“I chop at wood, chêng-chêng the sound,” The word chêng-chêng is such a bizarre onomatopoeia that not many English readers can relate it to the act of wood chopping. Yu’s translation of “the path is frosted in autumn’s height” is a confusing mistranslation because in the source text of 蒼逕秋高 there is a lack of reference for frost, and the word “height” is a direct and inaccurate translation of 高.
The main problem with Yu’s translation of the second ci is in “with nary the slightest bickering over a price so modest” for 更無些子爭競時價平平 with the archaic word of “nary” that is a bit difficult to understand. Yu’s translation puts in focus the fact that one batch of firewood can only be traded for three pints of rice, as a result, no one else is interested in the trade. On the contrary, the source text
emphasizes the fact that for a lack of competition, the woodsman is content with trading one batch of firewood for three pints of rice. The sense of satisfaction and gratitude is completely lost in Yu’s translation.
In Yu’s notes, he writes “the Yellow Court is a Taoist classic, generally regarded as
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one of the five major canonical texts of Taoism.” (Yu, vol.1, p.505) The Yellow Court
Classic 黃庭經 is a Chinese meditation text which is composed of two parts, the
External and Internal Scenery Scriptures. The literal meaning of “Yellow Court” refers
to the central hall of an imperial palace where the emperor and ministers gather to try to understand the will of the Heavens. However, since the scriptures of the classic includes instructions on how to rejuvenate one’s internal organs and appearance as well as elongate one’s life through the practice of meditation, the term “Yellow Court”
is often used as a reference to the Taoist study of immortality.
Chart 18
Ci Number 2: W.J.F. Jenner’s Translation
觀棋柯爛，
Watching the chess game I cut through the rotten, Felling trees, ding, ding,
Strolling at the edge of the cloud and the mouth of the valley, I sell firewood to buy wine,
Cackling with laughter and perfectly happy.
I pillow myself on a pine root, looking up at the moon.
When I wake up it is light, Recognizing the old forest I scale cliffs and cross ridges,
Cutting down withered creepers with my axe.
When I’ve gathered a basketful I walk down to the market with a song, And trade it for three pints of rice.
Nobody else competes with me, So prices are stable.
I don’t speculate or try sharp practice, Couldn’t care less what people think of me, Calmly lengthening my days.
The people I meet
81 非仙即道，
靜坐講黃庭。
Are Taoists and Immortals,
Sitting quietly and expounding the Yellow Court.
(Jenner, vol.1 p.27)
Compared with Yu’s version, W.J.F. Jenner’s translation of “nobody else competes with me so prices are stable” is more faithful to the source text. It is obvious that Jenner has a serious misunderstanding of the meaning of 柯爛 and his rendition of “I cut through the rotten” shows his confusion. Jenner’s translation of the onomatopoeia of 丁丁 also fails because “ding, ding” simply does not remind anyone of the sound of chopping wood. The word “cackle” means “to laugh in a loud, harsh way” which has a negative connotation, yet the source text transmits a
contagious laughter of happiness after a few rounds of wine. Jenner’s “I pillow myself on a pine root” is a very interesting translation strategy which converts pillow from a noun into a verb, it is unconventional and one may argue that the combination of “I pillow myself” makes no sense in English though, a strategy like this should be allowed in poetry.
Both Yu and Jenner translated 棋 into “chess,” and 講 into “expound.” The word “chess” creates a modern Western atmosphere, and since a game of chess is usually not played as leisurely as a game of go which can easily take up half a day or longer to finish, the imagery of “chess” certainly goes against other hints of a slow-paced life in the verse. Arthur Waley’s translation of “expound” is obviously
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where Yu and Jenner got their inspiration from. The word “expound” refers to the action of “explaining the meaning in detail” and though the word 講 indeed has an implication of explaining, it is in fact closer in meaning to “discuss” in this ci. Waley’s influence on Yu’s and Jenner’s translation can also be seen from the mistranslation of 靜坐 as Yu’s is “seated quietly” and Jenner’s is “sitting quietly,” both have been swayed by Waley’s rendition of “quiet seats.”
Yu’s and Jenner’s translations are neck and neck in transferring the key points and main elements from the source text of this ci. Unfortunately, they each have their own strengths and weaknesses, perhaps by combining all their strengths a nearly flawless translation may be derived. Which leads to the point that it is such a great pity that David Kherdian, whose adaptation of the second ci will be discussed next, has neglected to adopt the strengths in Yu’s and Jenner’s translations but chose to produce his own freer version instead.
Chart 19
Ci Number 2: David Kherdian’s Adaptation
觀棋柯爛，伐木丁丁，雲邊谷口徐行。
Happy and without woes of any kind, With ax in hand along my simple way, Singing through the marketplace, I barter wood for three pints of rice.
Free of scheming and plotting and with Simplicity my life’s intention,
I meet Immortals everywhere I go Expounding the Yellow Court.
(Kherdian, p.8)
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David Kherdian’s adaptation of the second verse is a disappointment. Kherdian claims in the foreword of his Monkey: a Journey to the West that his adaptation is based on the two complete translations of Yu’s and Jenner’s, but it is noticeable that Kherdian’s approach in handling this ci goes against his claim. His strategy, much more similar to Arthur Waley’s, is to greatly condense the ci to only 7 or 8 lines by expunging many of the details in it, however, most of the key elements are lost during this process.
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