Chapter 4: Three Shi
4.4 Shi Number Three
In chapter 2, Subhudi is delighted with Sun Wukong’s zeal in learning the secret to immortality and decides to shed some light on how to obtain longevity through the following poem:
顯密圓通真妙訣，惜修性命無他說。
都來總是精氣神，謹固牢藏休漏泄。
休漏泄，體中藏，汝受吾傳道自昌。
口訣記來多有益，屏除邪欲得清涼。
得清涼，光皎潔，好向丹臺賞明月。
月藏玉兔日藏烏，自有龜蛇相盤結。
相盤結，性命堅，卻能火裏種金蓮。
攢簇五行顛倒用，功完隨作佛和仙。
《西遊記》第二回頁六
It is worth mentioning that the 妙訣 here is the same secret as that in ci
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number 1 discussed earlier in the previous chapter. It is said that with a thorough understanding of the secret meanings embedded in this shi, one can achieve the state of immortality. Sun Wukong learns the shi by heart after only hearing it once recited by his teacher, Subhudi, deciphers the secrets from the words in the shi, and attains his goal of eternal life. Besides being enthusiastic, Sun Wukong must possess some kind of “superior understanding” for the shi is a terribly difficult to
comprehend even on the literary level. It is amazing that all the translators decided to translate this complex shi and have it included in their translations. Due to the tremendous amount of information embedded in this shi, the analyses and comparisons will be concentrated on successful translation strategies and major translation errors save trivial scrutiny.
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Shi Number 3: Timothy Richard’s Translation
顯密圓通真妙訣，
To discover secret doctrine, perfect and profound, One must train the spirit’s nature, only this the art, This involves three primal forces, sex, mind, and spirit.
Secret keep this no divulging, fatal to reveal, Preserve with care your body’s strength, Your secret strength conserve, increase.
Obey my words, and truth you’ll find.
Forget them not, the gain is great.
Put off all thoughts of evil lust.
Seek purity, shine bright.
Your secret chambers flood with light.
The moon protects the timid hare, The sun grows trees for birds to roost.
104 相盤結，
性命堅，
卻能火裏種金蓮。
攢簇五行顛倒用，
功完隨作佛和仙。
Birds and rabbits join in revels, So do dragons have their mates Have their mates and new life follows.
E’en in fire grows a lily
Differing natures, all converted, End their work as true Immortals.
(Richard, p.14)
Richard’s translation of this shi is for the most part inaccurate. The “secret doctrine” in line 1 turns 妙訣 into some kind of a religious cult that has a belief system of three primal forces of “sex, mind, and spirit” (line 3) and revealing such secret can be fatal (line 4). It appears that Richard is unfamiliar with the Chinese legends that a rabbit 玉兔 lives on the moon and that the sun itself is a golden crow 金烏, both of which are immortal beings. His translation of “the moon protects the timid hare, the sun grows trees for birds to roost” for 月藏玉兔日藏烏 is simply too creative and disregards the metaphors for immortality. In line 14, Richard
completely ignores the animals of 龜蛇 and continues with “birds and rabbits,” and the plural forms further confirm Richard’s ignorance of the well-known Chinese legends.
The symbolisms of 龜蛇 represent the animals of a tortoise and a snake, as both animals may survive for a long time without food and water, they are used in Taoism as symbols of long life. Richard not only neglects the symbolism of
immortality again, but he also replaces 龜蛇 with baffling “dragons” in line 15, which
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conveys a completely different image from the source text. More baffling are the renditions of “so do dragons have their mates” for 相盤結 and ”have their mates and new life follows” for 性命堅 because neither fail to make any sense, presumably they are placed in the translation only to echo the primal force of “sex” mentioned previously in line 3. And lastly, “lily” in line 17 is an obvious mistranslation of 金蓮 which is in reality closer in meaning to a golden lotus.
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Shi Number 3: Arthur Waley’s Translation
顯密圓通真妙訣，
To spare and tend the vital powers, this and nothing else Is sum and total of all magic, secret and profane.
All is comprised in these three, Spirit, Breath, and Soul;
Guard them closely, screen them well; let there be no leak.
Store them within the frame;
That is all that can be learnt, and all that can be taught.
I would have you mark the tortoise and snake, locked in tight embrace.
Locked in tight embrace, the vital powers are strong;
Even in the midst of fierce flames the Golden Lotus may be planted,
The Five Elements compounded and transposed, and put to new use.
When that is done, be which you please, Buddha or Immortal.
(Waley, p.24)
The first two lines of Waley’s translation are in reverse order from the source
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text, since this strategy works better in English and does not affect a reader’s
understanding, it is not a problem. When combined, the key concept in the first two lines appears to be “sum and total of all magic is to spare and tend the vital powers,”
which explains the source text clearly. That said, “all magic” is an imprecise translation for 妙訣 which specifically refers to the secret of immortality as
explained earlier. Waley’s “spirit, breath, and soul” in line 3 is a much more accurate translation for 精氣神 as compared to Richard’s “sex, mind, and spirit” which is quite off target. Also, Waley’s strategy of using “frame” to translate 體 works well, and when combined with “let there be no leak”休漏泄, the first section of the shi makes good sense.
It must also be specified that lines 7 to 11 of the source text are eschewed in Waley’s translation, and therefore, the symbolic meanings of the rabbit and the crow are lost in Waley’s translation. Judging from what is translated by Waley, he provides a nice version of the poem that explains the key points in the source text.
All in all, Waley’s translation of this shi is practical and there is a noticeable effort in creating rhymes with the implementation of “profane,” “frame,” and “embrace.”
In the last line, the phrase of 佛和仙 is translated into “Buddha or Immortal,”
and the word “or” in Waley’s translation brings forth an interesting translator’s perspective. It seems that in Waley’s viewpoint, a Buddha and an Immortal are
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mutually exclusive. That is, if one chooses to be a Buddha, the option of being an Immortal is ruled out, and vice versa. It also raises questions such as whether a Buddha is immortal and if there is a system for choosing to be a Buddha or an Immortal.
Chart 35
Shi Number 3: Anthony C. Yu’s Translation
顯密圓通真妙訣，
Know well this secret formula wondrous and true:
Spare and nurse the vital forces, this and nothing else.
All power resides in the semen, the breath, and the spirit.
Guard these with care, securely, lest there be a leak.
Lest there be a leak!
Keep within the body!
Hearken to my teaching and the Way itself will prosper.
Remember the oral formulas so efficacious To purge concupiscence and lead to purity;
To purity
Where the light is bright.
You may face the elixir platform and enjoy the moon.
The moon holds jade rabbit, the sun hides the crow;
See there also the snake and the tortoise tightly entwined.
Tightly entwined,
The vital forces are strong.
You can plant gold lotus e’en in the midst of flames.
The Five Phases use together and in order reverse--- When that’s attained, be a Buddha or Immortal at will!
(Yu, vol.1 p.88)
Yu translates 妙訣 into “secret formula” and 口訣 into “oral formula,” together with the word “elixir” in line 12, one gets the impression that this shi teaches the formulas of producing an elixir, while in fact, the poem teaches a nonmaterial secret
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to eternal life. The “this and nothing else” in line 2 is borrowed from Waley’s
translation, and the “body” for 體 in line 6 is a more direct and accurate translation than Waley’s “frame.” Yu’s translation of “the semen” for 精 is quite explicit, more so than Richard’s “sex.” Although it is difficult to pinpoint what exactly are 精,氣, and 神, for the purpose of this shi, Waley’s rendition of “spirit, breath, and soul” is
functional enough and minimizes misleading information.
The 丹臺 in line 12 may have two different meanings, on the one hand, it may refer to the residence of a Taoist immortal, and on the other hand, it can be the name of a red-colored Chinese pavilion. Yu’s translation of “elixir platform” is a word for word translation for 丹 and 臺 and may be difficult to understand due to
over-translation on Yu’s part. Yu’s strategy in translating 月藏玉兔日藏烏 into “the moon holds jade rabbit, the sun hides the crow” and 自有龜蛇相盤結 into ”see there also the snake and the tortoise tightly entwined” is quite literal but much more successful than Richard’s version. Though it is unknown as to why the snake and the tortoise are in reverse order and why the word “tightly” is added to the translation. The concept of the wuxing 五行 includes the elements of wood, fire, earth, metal, and water, and can be referred to as both the Five Phases or the Five Elements, Yu is the only translator that uses the former, while Waley, Jenner, and Kherdian opt for the latter.
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While Timothy Richard is confused about the key points of this poem and Arthur Waley chooses to shorten it by skipping a few lines, Anthony C. Yu is the first translator to tackle this poem in its entirety. Andrew H. Plaks commends in an article that Yu has made a gallant effort to convey a heroic dimension in his rendering of the poems in his Journey to the West (Plaks, p1117).
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Shi Number 3: W.J.F. Jenner’s Translation
顯密圓通真妙訣，
True spells, revealing secrets and all powerful, Are the only sure way of protecting one’s life.
They all come from essence, vapour, and spirit, Must be stored away securely, and never be divulged.
Must never be divulged, and be stored in the body, Then the Way I teach you will flourish of itself.
Many are the benefits of learning spells:
They give protection from evil desires and make one pure.
Make one pure with a dazzling radiance
Like a bright moon shining on a cinnabar tower.
The moon contains a Jade Rabbit, the sun a Golden Crow, The Tortoise and the Snake are always intertwined.
Always intertwined, then life is firm, And one can plant golden lotuses in fire.
Grasp all the Five Elements and turn them upside down, And when you are successful you can become a Buddha, or an Immortal.” (Jenner, vol.1 p.49)
Despite a few minor issues, W.J.F. Jenner’s translation of this shi is the best of all the versions. Jenner’s strategy for translating 妙訣 into “true spells” and 口訣 into
“spells” is quite logical because right after Sun Wukong unravels the secrets to immortality imbedded in this shi, he is taught by Subhuti the spells of 72
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transformations. However, Jenner’s decision to translate the word 氣 into “vapour”
is illogical as something like a vapor would be too insignificant and quite hard to be
“stored away securely.” It is hard to judge if Jenner’s “cinnabar tower” is a better translation for 丹臺 than Yu’s “elixir platform;” nonetheless, the former is more imaginable than the latter. In addition, for 顛倒用 Jenner translates “turn them upside down,” which is quite curious as there is no vertical or horizontal alignment for wuxing or the Five Elements.
For lines 6 to 8 of this shi, as a chart is provided below for easier comparison, Jenner renders a well-thought-out translation that bonds the first half and the second half of the shi. In contrast, in Richard’s translation, all three sentences are in the imperative mood, and the cause-and-effect relationship of the sentences is neglected. Lines 7 and 8 are omitted in Waley’s translation, and what he renders for line 6 is careless and inaccurate due to his misinterpretation.
Chart 37
汝受吾傳道自昌。
口訣記來多有益，
屏除邪欲得清涼。
Timothy Richard’s translation:
Obey my words, and truth you’ll find.
Forget them not, the gain is great.
Put off all thoughts of evil lust.
Arthur Waley’s translation:
That is all that can be learnt, and all that can be taught.
Anthony C. Yu’s translation:
Hearken to my teaching and the Way itself will prosper.
Remember the oral formulas so efficacious To purge concupiscence and lead to purity;
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W.J.F. Jenner’s translation:
Then the Way I teach you will flourish of itself.
Many are the benefits of learning spells:
They give protection from evil desires and make one pure.
When comparing Yu’s and Jenner’s translations from the above, the cause and effect of “the Way” in line 6 is more clearly explained in Jenner’s version because the “I” in “the Way I teach you” specifically refers to Subhuti and the “you” is Sun Wukong. For lines 7 and 8, Jenner’s translation also achieves higher accuracy, the reason being that Jenner’s “spells” is a better translation for 口訣, and Yu’s
“concupiscence” is but one of the evil desires that need purging.
Shi number 3, in Jenner’s translation, is so easy to read that the English version is more readily comprehensible than the source text. In spite of a few minor
ambiguities that can do with some revision, all the key elements are well-explained and well-translated.
Chart 38
Shi Number 3: David Kherdian’s Adaptation
顯密圓通真妙訣，
This is the formula, sacred and true,
Tend and spare the vital forces, this alone you must do.
In spirit, essence, and breath, the sacred powers reside, Guard and protect these, let no others be aware.
Keep to the Way, and the Way will keep you still.
Learn the formula, remember the spells,
112 月藏玉兔日藏烏，
自有龜蛇相盤結。
相盤結，性命堅，
卻能火裏種金蓮。
攢簇五行顛倒用，
功完隨作佛和仙。
Moon holds Jade Rabbit, the sun a Golden Crow,
Tortoise and Snake tightly held forever in secret embrace.
Tightly intertwined, the inner and outer forces grow strong.
Grasp the Five Elements, transpose, transform, transcend.
When this has been attained, you will Be—
Whether Buddha or immortal, it is up to you.
(Kherdian, p.18-19)
In Kherdian’s version of the third poem, Yu’s translation of “formula” for 妙訣 is adopted, in addition, as for 精氣神 Kherdian comes up with his own combination of
“spirit, essence, and breath” in reference to Yu’s and Jenner’s versions, though the order needs adjustment. Kherdian also borrows from Waley’s version the word
“transpose” and expanded it further to “transpose, transform, transcend,” though only the word “transcend” is precise and can be used for the translation of 顛倒用.
Quite possibly also under the influence of Waley’s version, lines 5, 8, 9, and 10 of the source text are skipped in Kherdian’s version.
In line 9, Kherdian’s “the inner and outer forces grow strong” is an
over-translation for 性命堅 and it may have been the result of his own creative interpretation of the previous translations he refers to. And finally, the conclusion of Kherdian’s shi “it is up to you” is utterly too colloquial to be included in the body of a poem like this one.
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