Nontraditional Choices and Societal Tolerance

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Fewer women thought employers discriminate against married women or women who have children, but over half still said that they do. Eight women said they do, five said they do not and two said they were unsure. Two of the women who said employers did not discriminate also said married women with children would be treated kinder and with more flexibility. The women who said employers did discriminate said married women with children would have lower positions, lower salary, and fewer promotions.

Some women said employers may ask directly or indirectly about plans for marriage or children during interviews. None of these women were completely sure if it was illegal to ask but they thought it probably was. One woman said even if it were illegal it would not matter; she felt people do not fight for their rights and will provide the information if asked.

Overall, most women had similar opinions about workplace equality and the difficulty of balancing a career and family for women. Regardless of age, marital status, or value orientation, most women believed women are not treated equally and married women with children are discriminated against. Similarly, the majority of women thought women could potentially have a good education, career, marriage, and children but it would be difficult. Most women suggested more government childcare centers as a solution to improve the situation

5.4.4 Nontraditional Choices and Societal Tolerance

This section looks at nontraditional choices some of the women in the sample have made and how they feel others treat them because of those choices. Women who did not make nontraditional choices were not asked this question. The second half of this section asks for women’s impressions on why more and more women in Taiwan are unmarried and childfree and how they feel about those women.

Five women of ages ranging from 25 to 40 were asked how people treat them when they learn the women are unmarried. Three of the women said family and friends insist on unsolicited matchmaking attempts. One woman said it was hard to make her elders understand that she could have a meaningful life without marriage. She would be told she was too old, too educated, and her expectations were too high. The oldest of the

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five said she felt people treated her better because she was single. One of the single women was also asked how people react when they find out she does not want children.

She said they might be surprised at first but when they know her lifestyle they understand. Another woman was asked how people reacted to knowing she is cohabitating with her boyfriend but she said she rarely tells others.

Two of the married women were asked how people reacted to knowing they were married with no children. One woman had children later, but she waited until ten years after getting married. Both women were 42. The woman who remained childfree said most people accepted it and if they did not, she ignored it. The other woman said that she felt pressure to have children because others thought it was “weird” to be married without children. She also said women are still blamed if a couple cannot have children. If a couple has difficulty conceiving and decide to get a medical assessment, she said often only the women get examined because the men refuse. She attributed this to men’s egos.

In a surprising example, the oldest single woman in the sample said she also faced pressure from her family to have children. When she was in her late thirties her family accepted that she was not going to get married, but they started suggesting she have children anyway. Even her grandparents encouraged her to have children even though she was unmarried because her family felt having children was even more important than getting married. According to the woman in the sample, her case is not an isolated instance. She has several friends who reported similar suggestions from their families.

The last woman who had a nontraditional life course married late in life and was the best educated of the sample, with two master’s degrees and a doctoral degree in progress. Before she was married she said she was treated more as an individual, but one who was abnormal. She felt single women are treated as though they are different from everyone else and once she got married she was treated as more normal. In regard to her education, she said her family respects her for it and that society treats her “more as a male” or “more as an individual” than other women.

All of the women in the sample were asked why they believe remaining single and childfree is becoming more prevalent in Taiwanese society. The most common reason given was a woman’s economic situation, followed by desire for a free

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independent life, avoiding family obligation, difficulty meeting potential partners or finding “Mr. Right,” focusing on career over marriage, a high education level, age, and because men are not good enough. One woman added that before marriage a couple may be equal but after marriage the woman’s position drops. In addition to that, she said about eighty percent of childcare is still done by mothers, giving women a

disproportionate amount of family responsibility.

Most women gave one or more of these answers and there was no clear pattern based on age, marital status, or value orientation. The one exception to this was that both women who had conflicting values said men were not good enough while no other women in the sample did. One woman explained that she felt more Taiwanese men are

“mama’s boys” than before. She thought they behaved like little boys that ask

permission or advice before making any decisions. The other woman with conflicting values appeared committed to stay single for life. She said for her personally, if she got married she would lose her freedom and have more responsibilities. She felt she had to choose and said, “Freedom or love- which is more tasty [sic]?” Overall, most women felt the singlehood trend was due to a combination of circumstance and deliberate choice.

Only two women said women are deliberately choosing to remain unmarried and childfree.

Of women who were asked how they felt about women who stay single, most said they could accept it if it was the woman’s choice. One young nonconformist woman said she envied their freedom and felt curious about their lifestyle. The only unmarried conformist woman said she thought it was fine for women to choose that kind of life, but they need to have their parents’ support or their lives will be difficult. Only one woman said she thought it would be better if single women got married, but she was the only conformist woman who disagreed with the choice to remain single. Another woman commented that in the past the majority of people did not tolerate the decision to remain unmarried but today about half of society can accept it.

Based on women’s answers, the women in the sample may be more tolerant of nontraditional choices than average for Taiwanese society. Women’s personal

experiences as unmarried or married and childfree show that others resist accepting those

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choices and try to pressure women to change their minds. Despite the taboo of childbearing outside of marriage, even unmarried women are not completely immune from pressure to have children, though it is unclear how common those examples are.