Understanding &
Handling of High
Conflict Complainants
Dr. Chiu Siu Ning
(趙少寧醫生)
snchiupsy@gmail.com
Content
• General complaint management attitude and skills
• Concept of High Conflict Complainants, their characteristics and relationship with Personality Disorders
• Tips in handling High Conflict Complainants
Paradigm Shift
• In the society
• In us??
General Complaint Management
Attitude & Skills
General Complaint
Management Attitude
• Everybody has the right to complain
• Not every complaint people make needs to be reasonable
• Allowing unreasonable complaint is the hallmark of a civilized society
• Making unreasonable complaint in a formalized channel is far better than making nuisance in an indirect manner
General Complaint Management Skills
• Skills in complaint management:
• Think:
1. “How many complaints have you made over the past year?”
2. “How many discontents about services have you come across in the past
year?”
• Why is there a discrepancy??
General Complaint Management Skills
• Even if I cannot do anything about the complaint matter, I can certainly say/do something to soothe the complainant’s emotion
• Documentation
• Complaint management protocol
• Security setting
Concept of High Conflict Complainants,
Their characteristics and Relationship
with Personality Disorders
What are High Conflict Complainants?
• High Conflict Complainants (HCC) are
those who constantly get into conflicts and often behave badly
• They blame others and avoid taking responsibility for their own problems
• They focus on behaviour of others
What are High Conflict Complainants?
• They are preoccupied with confronting a
“Target of Blame” (TOB)
• The pattern of blaming is unconscious i.e.
they are totally unaware that it is a
problem and that it’s their own problems
• By blame-speaking, they feel safer and stronger
• Many of them fall into the Cluster B of Personality Disorders (PD)
Recognize HCC in Daily Life
1. Rigid and uncompromising
2. Unable to accept or heal from a small loss
3. Negative emotions dominate their thinking
4. Difficulty empathizing with others 5. Preoccupied with blaming others
DSM Classification of PD
• Cluster B :
• Antisocial PD
• Borderline PD
• Histrionic PD
• Narcissistic PD
• People with these disorders tend to be
• Dramatic
• Emotional
• Erratic
Antisocial PD
Essential characteristics of Antisocial PD:
• Not conform to social norms
• Deceitful
• Impulsive
• Lack of remorse
• Lack of empathy
• Controlling
• Most of them are Conduct Disordered children before the age of 16
• Tends to be overwhelming, very demanding and controlling when making complaint
• More likely than others to resort to violence
Borderline PD
Essential characteristics of Borderline PD:
• Intense abandonment fears
• Inappropriate anger
• Unstable but intense relationships
• Repeated self-harm
• Impulsive
• Leads an erratic life, disorganized in daily activities
• Extremely self-centered
• Tends to focus on interpersonal issues and her emotional feelings when making complaint
• Tends to be very emotional and may use threatening words when making complaint
Histrionic PD
Essential characteristics of Histrionic PD:
• Always wants to be the centre of attention
• Emotional expression is shallow and changes rapidly
• Speech is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail
• Extremely self-centered
• Tends to be manipulative and over- stating the suffering when making complaint
Narcissistic PD
Essential characteristics of Narcissistic PD:
• False sense of self-importance, achievement and status
• Regards himself as special
• Needed to be treated as special
• Exploitative
• Tends to be demanding unrealistically , boastful and to be treated specially when making complaint
Skills in Handling HCC
• 1: Don’t Take Personal Attacks Personally
• 2: Don’t Give Them Negative Feedback
• 3: Set Clear Boundaries set with Borderlines
• 4: Don’t be Rude to the Narcissists
• 5: Don’t Get Hooked by Histrionics
• 6: Don’t Get Controlled by Antisocials
1: Don’t Take Personal Attacks Personally
• You may have already taken it personal when you:
a) Feel you have to defend yourself
b) Feel constant fear or anger when being attacked verbally
c) Start thinking It’s All Your Fault
2: Don’t Give Them Negative Feedback
• Negative feedback can induce further complaints, even violence
• Understand their basic psychology:
Types of HCC
Constant Fear
Borderline PD
Fear of abandonment Narcissist
PD
Fear of being inferior Histrionic
PD
Fear of being ignored Antisocial
PD
Fear of being dominated
3: Set Clear Boundaries with Borderlines
a) Don’t act too big
b) Don’t reinforce unrealistic expectations of intimacy
c) Create clear expectations in relationship d) Pay attention to your gut feelings of
discomfort
e) Remind yourself that you have the right to be assertive when requests are
unreasonable
f) Take boundary violations seriously,
including violence, threats of violence and verbal attacks
4: Don’t be Rude to the Narcissists
a) It’s a natural intention to “put down” a narcissist, but don’t do that, please!
b) If possible, realize their real strengths and compliment them
c) Let them know great effort has been paid to handle his case
d) Keep a distance in relating with them when complaint-handling is over
5: Don’t Get Hooked by Histrionics
• They are naturally charming by appearance and by what they say
• Don’t buy their whole stories
• Asks for evidences
• You should expect to achieve 5 min. of constructive talk over 30 min. of
conversation
• Better to handle the same complainant by the same person
6: Don’t Get Controlled by Antisocials
a) Be alert for unusual stories that require you to do something
b) Pay attention to your gut feelings
c) Don’t believe in totality of what they say d) Maintain a healthy skepticism
e) When you read lies, you do not need to unveil it immediately
Summary
• Complaint management is a challenging task, it involves correct attitude towards complaints and a positive view towards the value of managing complaints
• Some complainants are more difficult than usual. They may reflect an underlying personality problem. Handling them requires certain skills
Caution
• Don’t ask a High Conflict Person to handle a High Conflict Complainant!!
