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study for higher degree. Many monks and nuns got their PhD degrees and have teaching positions in the university. All these give people a very different picture about monks and nuns. Moreover, monastic life is not a mystery now because of the booming expansion of religious institutions and religious activities for lay supporters today. In Fo Guang Shan Monastery, they invite the parents of its members to visit their children twice a year. Parents of monks and nuns are addressed as in-laws of Fo Guang Shan. Traditional belief that when one leaves the family and enter a
monastery, he and she is cutting off relationship with kin forever has been changed.
Furthermore, nuns have higher religious status and more influences on religion and society than before, too. Venerable Cheng Yen of Buddhist Compassion Relief Tzu Chi Foundation is a good example. Some stereotypical views about extrafamiliar
alternatives still remain, and not everyone accepts these changes, but we do see some differences over these years.
3.7 Filial Piety
One of the most important virtues that Confucius taught is filial piety. According to Confucius, “filial piety is the basis of virtue and the source of culture…94” In
general, filial piety is the proper attitude toward one’s parents. Because filial piety is the root of virtue95, so it is also the root of morality in Chinese society.96
Confucianism and Buddhism have different views on what are proper attitudes toward parents. In addition, there are some differences between the definitions of filial piety by Confucianism and Buddhism. Furthermore, ways to fulfill filial piety are very different between the two philosophies, too. From Paul Chao’s work, I found
94 Classic of Filial Piety, chapter I: The General Theme
95 see Legge’s translation of Classic of Filial, chapter one.
96 Chao, 1983, pp.82.
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that the definition of filial piety is really cultural based.97 The virtue of filial piety is not exclusive to Chinese society, but other cultures do not use the term filial piety as much as the Chinese does. In different cultures and religions, they all have their own expressions of filial piety. For instance, Egyptian has an annual reunion tradition with the deceases relatives, and offerings will be made at tomb; during the reunion, Egyptians will talk to their deceases relatives like they were still alive.98 Egyptian’s way of being filial is very different from Chinese filial children of being obedient and respectful. In some cultures, they also have tradition of sacrificing deceased99 or god on the behalf of the father, and I think that such an ideology is patrilineal in their definitions.100 Romans, Semitic people, Islam, Christianity and Judaism all have different ideologies of filial piety.101
Extrafamiliar alternatives such as entering a monastery not only violate social order, values and ethics but also against the Chinese central virtue of filial piety.
Being unfilial is the most serious accusation from the society to Buddhist philosophy, monks and nuns. Many parents are unwilling to let their children to join a monastic community because they are afraid of being neglected when they get sick and old, especially sons. Even if they need not to depend on their children at the old age, they still need to depend on their male child to perform sacrifices after their death.
Serving for live and dead parents become the very basic duties of the children.
Parents’ anxieties and expectations are caused by our social beliefs and ideologies.
There is a set of social guidelines on proper relationship between our relatives and us,
97 Chao, 1993, pp.72-73.
98 Chao, 1993, pp.72.
99 A Greek father would depend on his son when he gets old, and the son has the responsibility of worshipping god and obligations to the dead and fatherhood. Also in Greek culture, obedience to the father is more important than the affection to the mother.
100 In India, the purpose of marriage and raising a male child is that the child can perform sacrifices to the names of the father (Chao, 1993, pp.72).
101 Chao, 1993, pp.72-73.
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so such a relationship would alter if any social rule is violated or social order is disrupted. Some relationships between monks and nuns with their relatives alter because they violate social rule and disrupt social order by having an unacceptable life choice. It is somehow interesting that even if some parents agree with such life choice, other relatives or people would accuse them of being crazy. My research samples are all from Taiwan, so I am going to discuss about the definition of filial piety of both Confucianism and Buddhism in general, how Buddhism replied to their accusations and how does it affect the relationship between monks and nuns with their relatives.
Confucianism on filial piety
In The Analects of Confucius, he said that filial piety was serving the parents according to propriety when they were alive, and burying and sacrificing them according to propriety after their death. There are literal meanings of filial piety in Chinese characters. Filial piety is composed by two Chinese characters, and the first,
‘xiao’ (孝) is composed with two parts; the top part stands for old and the lower part is son or child.102 Thus, xiao means the debts that a child owed to the old, the parents. According to Confucius ideology, piety is the devotion towards the spirits of ancestors and dead parents. Although a child is asked to sacrifice ancestors and dead parents, it does not mean that Confucius believe in ghost or spirit after death. One should sacrifices ancestors and dead parents like as if they were alive. Some people believe that if one needs food and clothing when they are alive, then they must also need food and clothing after death. This belief is very culturally based and exclusive in Chinese ideology. Despites that, Confucius denied of discussing anything about after life. He said: “when one did not know about life, so how could he know about
102 Chao, 1983, pp.72-73.
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death”.103 Confucius told his students about how a child should sacrifice their ancestors and dead parents:
to remember the ancestors, to perform the same rites, and the same music which they performed when living, to reverence what they reverenced, to love what they loved, to serve them after death as they were served during their life, and to serve them though they have disappeared as if they still existed, that is perfect filial piety.104
Mercius, like Confucius, believed that the virtue of filial piety is very important, and it could even supersede a religion.105 Chao in his book pointed out the religious role of filial piety and religious elements in The Classic of Filial Piety (Xiao Jing 孝經) and The Record of Rites (Li Ji 禮記); He argued that both books proved religious content of filial piety in Confucianism, and the religious factors were rituals, moral code, paraphernalia used in the rituals and priests.106 Moreover, Herbert Spencer believed that certain religious systems were necessary component of a society in the progress of civilization.107 Similar to secular religion established by Saint-Simon and Comte, the status of virtue of filial piety had been upgraded as a secular religion.108
Reciprocal relationship between parents and child
In Chinese society, the mutual relationship between parents and child last not only when the parents are alive but also after the death of parents. When parents are alive, they take care of their dependent child, so when the parents get old, they
103 The Analects of Confucius, ch. 11.
104 Chao, 1983, pp.73.
105 Chao, 1983, pp.74.
106 Chao, 1983, pp.79.
107 Chao, 1983, pp.98.
108 Chao, 1983, pp.98.
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depend on their child’s cares.109 Child has to sacrifice their ancestors and dead parents, and in return, these descendents will be blessed and protected by their ancestors and dead parents with their supernatural power.110 Such a mutual relationship has been passed down from generation to generations without a stop.
Therefore, having an offspring, disregarding they are born or adopted, is very
important in continuing ancestral sacrifices.111 The duty of sacrificing ancestors and dead parents relies on male descendents only, and daughter’s filial duties are only to her father-in-law and mother-in-law. The obsession of having a male heir among Chinese parents is not purely a gender preference, and such an obsession is partly due to system of filial piety in devotion of performing sacrifices. The mutual relation between a child and the parents is also supported by Buddhism. The ideology of debts of a child to the parents, especially a son to his mother, is an important propaganda in Chinese Buddhism, too. We should now move on to discuss Buddhist point of views on the virtue of filial piety.
Buddhism
To Chinese society, Buddhism is a foreign religion coming from India. When it was first introduced to China, it brought up a lot of discussions and criticisms.
Buddhism encouraged people to leave their family and secular world, and join monastic life in order to achieve enlightenment. Detaching from all secular ties both physically and emotionally is the first step before entering a monastery. Although we know that detachment from family tie is an ideology but not the reality from many research results, the belief of entering a monastery is cutting off all ties from secular world has remained for thousands of years. As I mentioned before, the virtue of filial
109 Baker, 1979, pp.72-73.
110 Baker, 1979, pp.72-73.
111 Chao, 1983, pp.80.
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piety is not exclusive to Chinese society, but some people argued that only Chinese society sees the virtue of filial piety as not just a virtue but as a state religion. In fact, not only every culture or religion has its own definition and expression of filial piety, but each has its guidance on family and social ethics and values. Shih Ji Xung (釋繼雄) wrote a book on the family ethics and values of the early Buddhism.112 In his work, he gave us many examples from Buddhist doctrines on the emphasis of filial piety or the importance of being filial. Despite there are differences in these families and social values between Buddhism and Confucianism, there are still many similarities that one can find. Not only the Chinese is against to the propaganda of leaving the family to pursue religious life, so does the Brahmins at Buddha Gautama’s time.113 In general, Buddhists believe in incarnation, so a person might have many parents in different lives. Taking care of the physical needs of the parents is also important to Buddhists, but taking care of the parents’ spiritual salvation is much more important than that. Therefore, a Buddhist believes that he should let the parents know about Buddhist philosophies so that they will look for their own salvation and
enlightenment by cultivation, and a monk or a nun is looking for salvations and enlightenments for parents from different lives. Mind the well-being of all the beings than just for one’s own parents is highly praised in Buddhism especially in Mahayana tradition. Cultivating merits is important for not only the parents and ancestors that we know in this life but also important for parents and ancestors of the previous ones. In addition, Buddhism speaks of the benefits to their ancestors of a person being a monk or nun. There is a common saying lasting for years in Chinese society that when a person from your family becomes a monk or a nun, his or her relatives
112 Shih Ji Xiong, 1996.
113 Wijayaratna, 1990, pp.90.
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from the nine generations can get rebirths in the heaven.114 This is known not only by the Chinese Buddhist but almost by non-Buddhists. In Thera-gatha (pp.242), it also pointed out that when one became a monk or a nun, the parents and relatives could enjoy endless happiness in the heaven.115
Some scholar argued that Buddhism had tried to comply with Chinese ethics and values of filial piety in many ways. In Chen’s conclusion of his book, Buddhism in China, he concluded that:
Finally, the antifamily and antisocial concepts of Buddhism in India were modified by the Chinese Buddhists, so that filial piety was still a virtue to be observed, especially in the form of temples and pagodas erected and dedicated in the memory of deceased ancestors.116
Chen believed that the virtue of filial piety was only introduced to Buddhists only after it arrived in China, and Chinese Buddhist had tried to make many adjustments to meet the ethical expectations of Chinese society such as filial piety. For instance, Chen found prayers for the well-beings of the deceased ancestors uttered by monks and nuns, and that showed the expression of filial piety of these monks and nuns who once renounced their family and social ties.117 On the other hand, a Pali scholar, Gregory Schopen opposed to Chen’s argument of the above. Schopen pointed out several evidences from Indian epigraphical sources that dedicating merits for the well-being of the deceases ancestors had been existed in Indian Buddhists
inscriptions for a long time.118 Therefore, he argued further that the expression of
114 in Chinese: yi ren chu jia jio zu shen tien (一人出家九族升天) The common saying was from the Chan master Liang-jie’s (807-869) record in Tang Dynasty. This common saying had been used in many famous Chinese novels, too.
115 Shih Ji Xiong, 1996, pp.17.
116 Chen, 1964, pp.486.
117 Schopen, T’oung pau, 70 (1984), pp.110.
118 see Schopen’s article, T’oung pau, 70 (1984), pp.110-126.
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the virtue of filial piety by concerning the well-being of the deceased ancestors could be found long before Buddhism spread to China. Another support that Buddhism cares about the well-being of monks’ or nuns’ live parents can be found in the Vinaya.
Monks and nuns could accept gift of cloth from the supporter, and they were also allowed to give it to their parents if they were old and poor.119 Furthermore, when parents were sick, and needed helps, monks and nuns were allowed to leave the monastic community and return home during the rain retreat.120 Beside one’s parents, monks and nuns could also take a leave from the monastic community during rain retreat if their lay siblings needed helps.121 Being unfilial would get a bad rebirth in the next life; one the other hand, a filial child would be reborn at the heaven with endless happiness.122
Debts to the mothers
In Chinese Buddhism, we can find many sutras that are especially on the topics of filial piety. Many of these sutras were analyzed by Alan Cole.123 Some sutras on the theme of filial piety were doubted to be forged, and many of these sutras focused on the heavy debts a child owed to the parents. The debts of a son owed to his mother had been put into the focus in Cole’s work. It is believed that a woman was sinful because of her release of blood during menstruation and childbirth, and that
indirectly polluted the earth and offend the god.124 Woman’s natural biology caused them to be sinful, and due to this sin, she had to suffer in the hell after death.125 A mother would be saved from the sufferings of hell only when a son hired Buddhist
119 Majayaratna, 1990, pp.48.
120 Schopen in Journal of the Pali Text Society, XVI (1992), pp.103.
121 Schopen in Journal of the Pali Text Society, XVI (1992), pp.103.
122 Shih Ji Xiong, 1996, pp.42-43.
123 Allan Cole, Mothers and Sons in Chinese Buddhism, 1998.
124 Cole, 1998, pp.204-206.
125 Cole, 1998, pp.202-203.
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monks to perform Buddhist ritual with the chanting of Blood Bowl Sutra; in this sutra, it specified that by performing the rite, it could turn hell into lotus pond and spare the sins of a mother.126 Sons have obligations to perform rites according to Blood Bowl Sutra after the death of their mothers but daughters were exempted from such an obligation. Furthermore, many Buddhist texts on filial piety mentioned nothing about daughters.127 We don’t know why daughters do not have to perform the ritual for their mothers when they are equally guilty of letting their mothers to pollute the earth during childbirth. Maybe because in the patrilineal family system, the
daughters are not considered as a member of her natal family, and her obligations of filial piety are only to her parents-in-laws after she marries. A mother has to depend on her sons in her old life and after death. The propaganda of sutras related to Blood Bowl Sutra also served functions of maintaining the existence of religious institution and supporting Chinese traditional patrilineal family system.128 Thus, the emphasis of sutras like Blood Bowl Sutra is not purely on the virtue of filial piety.
Conflicts between Confucianism and Buddhism
Becoming a monk or a nun has always been attacked of bringing disorders to the traditional Chinese family system. Family is not just a basic unit of the society, but it is also the fundamental focus of Confucianism. Extrafamilial alternatives are
choices that are against to Confucian moral ethics of filial piety. Being a monk or a nun, one must shave their hairs, but the act of shaving one’s own hair was
considered as an unfilial act because the opening chapter in The Classic of Filial, Confucius said that “our bodies-to every hair and bit of skin-are received by us from our parents, and we must not presume to injure or wound them:-this is the
126 Cole, 1998, pp.197.
127 Cole, 1998, pp.208.
128 Cole, 1998, pp.226.
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beginning of filial piety.”129 I believe the reason a child should be more careful about his or her own life security because the parents will need their support one day. Thus there is the notion in Chinese society that if a child died before their parents,
despites the cause of death, then the child would be considered as unfilial. We still hear criticism from people on the act of becoming a monk or nun based on this ground, but it always comes along with some other accusations, too.
The term chu jia (出家) literally means leaving home, and by words, it does not have the meaning of becoming monks and nuns, or renunciation. People can leave home for many reasons, but they often connect this term with the action of Buddhist renunciation. Actually, the tradition of renunciation exists in many other religious systems, too. For instance, a Catholic nun has to leave home and stay at a church like Buddhist nuns. Moreover, being an ascetic in the four life stages of Hinduism is also a kind of renunciation. However, when Chinese people say about someone who “chu
The term chu jia (出家) literally means leaving home, and by words, it does not have the meaning of becoming monks and nuns, or renunciation. People can leave home for many reasons, but they often connect this term with the action of Buddhist renunciation. Actually, the tradition of renunciation exists in many other religious systems, too. For instance, a Catholic nun has to leave home and stay at a church like Buddhist nuns. Moreover, being an ascetic in the four life stages of Hinduism is also a kind of renunciation. However, when Chinese people say about someone who “chu