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medical bursary depends on people who are in the higher management positions.
Bin’s relationship with his siblings is close and positive. It is hard to imagine one is able to remain contact with twelve siblings for so many years. Bin is the youngest child, so he gets more help and attention from the family, and it could be one of the reasons why his siblings are willing to support him.
4.3 Monks Who Had Marriage Before
Mu (M):
Mu was between the ages of 45 to 50 at the time of interview. His father is from mainland China, and his mother is a Taiwanese native. He grew up in Yunlin, and has four siblings. Mu’s family believes in Catholicism because of his mother’s first native background. After finishing high school, he had been wondering around and
unemployed for about eight years. According to him, he joined local gang and was not really a good person when he was young. At the age of 26, he was asked to help building a Buddhist temple at Gu-ken. It was his promise to another elder gang member. He planned to stay for a month only at first, but later, he had stayed there for almost seven years. This was how he first encountered Buddhism. During these years as an employee of the temple, he met his wife and had a daughter. His wife stayed at Lien-yen Mountain Temple, and planned to get ordained there although not successfully before going to Gu-ken. After they get married, they both worked for the temple, and raised their child in the temple, too. Mu’s wife had always wanted to become a nun before they got married, so she finally decided to leave her family, and asked Mu’s mother to take care of her daughter. Their child was about two or three at the time she left. After his wife became a nun, Mu remained working in the temple for a short period of time. He then worked as a part-time worker at the
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construction fields. Since his jobs required moving from one place to another a lot, he put his daughter in his mother’s and sister’s care but provided her with financial supports. His second younger sister has a daughter outside of wedlock, and she lives with his mother. She also helps taking care of Mu’s daughter, too. During Mu’s working period outside of the temple, he began to look for a temple where he could be ordained as a monk. With his mother’s approval, he became a monk in 1998 at one of C.F.S.’s branch temples. His daughter was about eight at that time.
After Mu became a monk, his wife who left him to join the Order, helped him prepare everything he needed for ordination by asking her lay disciples to donate.
Thus, Mu did not have to pay for robes. Because Mu had worked for a few years, he had some savings from his own to pay off some extra fees after entering the
monastery. Mu paid his own application fee for his bhikshu ordination. Although Mu’s mother and sister are willing to take care of his daughter, he still has to pay part of her living expenses. Her daughter does not have to pay tuition fee or medical insurance because she is first native. The cost of raising this child is much less than other kids. With donations given by disciples, he is able to provide some money to raise his daughter. Moreover, his daughter plays as a bridge connecting him and his wife. They were both ordained in C.F.S., but his wife had left the monastery before Mu joined the Order. When the tantric practice centre was established, Mu applied to study at the centre. Mu also left the monastic community after those tantric practitioners being dismissed by the old Chan master. Mu and his ex-wife did not really have much chance to see each other. However, they still keep in contact with each other because of their daughter. According to him, he called his daughter in a weekly base, and his daughter knows about his conditions quite well. At the time of my interview with him, he had already left C.F.S., and stayed at a disciple’s place. He was looking for a chance to build his own temple.
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In Mu’s case, he keeps close contact with his family, wife, and daughter because he has responsibilities to his daughter. Their relationship is positive. At a
psychological level, Mu’s mother provided him great support by promising him to take care of his daughter. Without the help of his mother and sister, it is impossible for Mu to join the Order with his daughter being not looked after. The financial condition of his family is not good enough to cover all the expenses of his daughter, so Mu has to pay part of it. He pays for her daughter’ expenses with lay disciples’
donation because the allowance from the monastery is not enough to cover all his necessary expenses. At the time of his novice ordination, his wife also helped prepare everything he needed for him, and that saved him some money. Despite all his relatives being Catholics, he still got his family’s approval of being a monk. With his family’s helps, he had less worry about his daughter and fewer financial problems during his monastic life.
Tson (M):
Tson was 58 at the time of interview. Both of his parents were from China, and both served in the military. He grew up at the community housing provided by the military. He has one elder brother who died at young, two younger brothers, and one elder sister. His elder sister is a Buddhist, and the others do not really have any religious beliefs. Most of them work for public services. After graduating from high school, he joined the military, and it became his life-long career. He got married at the age of thirty-three, and his wife gave births to a son and a daughter. His elder son is twenty-four, and his younger daughter is twenty-one now. He described himself having no religious belief before his father got ill. He first encountered Buddhist philosophy when he took care of his sick father at the hospital. From that time on, he became very interested in finding out the purposes and meanings of life. Thus, he
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began searching a temple to support as a disciple. Unfortunately, Tson’s marriage with his ex-wife did not work out that well. His ex-wife had an affair with his friend, so they decided to get a divorce when he was fifty. He and his ex-wife had join custody of the kids. Tson had to live in the military camp after his divorce, so his kids stayed with his ex-wife. After the divorce, he provided full alimony to his ex-wife and kids. A few years later, he retired from the military as a major general. He gets about 25,000 dollars every year from his pension, and he will give more than 15,000 dollars to his ex-wife and kids. When his kids got older, they moved to live with him. In 2006, he applied to study at C.F.S. Buddhist College. He was over the age limit, but they gave him a special permission to study at the college. Tson joined the Order a year later.
After becoming a monk, Tson keeps regular contact with his kids. Tson’s kids were not so happy to see their father becoming a monk because they were afraid of losing his financial supports. He rarely contacts his ex-wife unless necessary. Tson’s father died long before he joined the Order, and his mother is ninety-four years old now. According to him, he remains good relationships with his mother and all his siblings although there is not much contact. Financially, he is well-off with his
pension. Even after he joined the Order, he is still able to support his kids and ex-wife.
He told me that young kids today cannot really get independent, so his responsibility has not come to an end even though his son is a grown-up now. He visits his kids every two months. Because Tson has pension when joined the Order, so he has no financial concern. At the time before Tson’s novice ordination, he got 35 dollars from their male branch monastery and 20 dollars from C.F.S. Buddhist College as bursaries to buy new robes. To my knowledge, only monks got this bursary because they belong to different monastic system, and monks and nuns have separated finances.
Thus, C.F.S.’s male branch monastery provides this bursary, but nuns from other
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female branch monasteries have no bursary for that.150 As for the bursary from C.F.S.
Buddhist College, it is also conditional. Not all my informants who have studied there before get the money for buying robes. Furthermore, Tson does not need to worry about his medical needs because he enjoys free medical services as a retired soldier.
Tson pays off all other costs by himself, and refuses to take the allowance offered by the monastery.
In Tson’s case, his relationship with his mother and siblings remains the same as before. He did not have to fight with his families when he wanted to join the Order.
There are two reasons for that: first, he had married and had children before, and second, at an old age, he is financially independent. In another word, he did not cost his family any trouble for joining the Order. His relationship with his kids after he joined the Order does not change because he promises them that he will continue to support. It is this promise keeping their relationship positive. He cares about his kids a lot, and they talk on the phone very often. Of course, it is allowed by the
monastery to keep this relationship. Tson’s only negative relationship is with his ex-wife. He does not want to have contact with his ex-wife or to see her. The betrayal of his ex-wife’s sacrificed their marriage, and he cannot get over with it. The only connection to bridge them is the kids. For some people, the reason to join the monastic community at an old age is because they do not have a good relationship with either their natal family or married family, but most of them would never admit that. After joining the Order, he keeps seeking other people’s concern and care as a replacement for his family’s psychological support. From that fact, there is a
possibility that his psychological needs are never fulfilled. The only reason Tson contacts his children is to make sure he fulfills his responsibility as a father, but he
150 Each of C.F.S.’ branch temple is financially independent, so the abbot or abbess, or the head of the branch temple has the right to decide what benefit their monastic members can get from the temple.
Therefore, it is not a difference based on gender.
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never seeks psychological support from them. Tson’s psychological relationship with his family is relatively weak comparing to other informants.
Yidi (M)
Yidi was sixty-eight at the time of interview. He grew up in Taichung with six other siblings. His parents do not really have any religious belief, but two of his siblings are Buddhists. Being the second eldest kid in the family, he was his parents’
favorite child. At the age of twenty-four, he got married. He has three sons and one daughter. After he got married, he moved to Taipei with his wife and opened a bakery.
He began to be a devoted Buddhist around his early thirties, and from that on, he attended all kinds of activities in many different Buddhist temples. The reason for his interest in religion was, according to him, his problematic relationship with his wife.
Despite his constant arguments with his wife, their relationship or the family
atmosphere never went down to the icing point, even after divorce. In his mid-forties, he divorced with his wife, and he took the responsibility of raising all his children.
After Yidi separated with his wife, they still kept contact with each other because of the kids. When he was about fifty, he decided to close the bakery shop, and became an assistant of a legislator. During his career in politics, he felt frustrated and
depressed, so he ended this three-year career in politics. In thinking about his retirement life, he realized that he could not count on kids totally because each of them had his or her married family. He really liked the atmosphere of Buddhist monasteries, so he had an idea of being a monk. Since then, he started several discussions with his kids on his idea. At first, none of his kids agreed with him, and they even promised to take care of him. Yidi took five years to get his kids’
agreements and prepare leaving his secular life.
Yidi found out about C.F.S. on the internet. He visited C.F.S.’s male branch
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temple several times, and stayed there for only a week before his ordination. He was ordained as a novice when he was sixty-two. Besides his kids, he told all his siblings about his decision. In the beginning, he was afraid to tell his mother that he had become a monk because he was her mother’s favorite child. However, it turned out that his mother was not against to his decision. Yidi’s siblings and mother attended his ordination ceremony, but his children could not attend because they had to work.
Yidi’s relationship with his family never changes. He contacts them often, and his kids call him whenever they are free. He is financially well-off as a monk because he has some savings from the past, and his kids support him financially. He never thinks about whether having some savings is necessary before ordination or not, and believes that financial concern is unnecessary. In case of medical emergency, he has his own private insurance and savings to cover that, so he does not worry about that too.
To Yidi, his natal family and children give him a lot of supports both financially and psychologically. Cases like him, people who join the Order at an old age seek monastery more like a retirement home but with religious functions. Usually, they would have some savings before joining the Order. In their knowledge, they pretty much know that most of the monastic communities do not welcome people who are sick and aging. Therefore, they would make sure that they are able to take care of themselves in an old age. Moreover, people who join the Order at an older age are more likely to get their families’ supports. If they had married, most of these people will have children who are grown-ups already, so they have fulfilled their family responsibilities. In addition to that, they have heirs to fulfill their responsibility to their natal family. On the other hand, people who have never married, and join the Order at an old age might not get the same supports because for one, they do not fulfill their responsibility of having heirs for their parents, and they have no child to
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support their old life in the monastery.
Shanji (M):
Shanji is in his later fifties. I had no intention to interview him at first, but he offered to share his story with me. Up to date, he joined the Order for almost eight years. He grew up in Tainan with a younger brother and a younger sister. His parents had later become Buddhists due to his influence. Her younger sister is the first member in the family who has Buddhist belief. Shanji himself did not really have any religious belief before, and whenever his sister tried to introduce Buddhism to him, he got angry at her. He married his wife when he was twenty-four. He and his wife have two sons and one daughter. His wife is not a Buddhist. They started their own company after they got married. For years, their company had good revenue. He described his life to be successful at that time. Although he had a successful life in his career, his relationship with his wife was never close. Being too busy with his
company, he did not know that his wife started to gamble long ago. Since his wife was responsible for the company’s financial, she was able to get money to gamble without telling her husband. When Shanji noticed the problem of his company’s finance, it was quite late for him to fix it. He started having constant quarrels with his wife. This was the turning point for him in wanting to know more about Buddhism.
Therefore, his sister brought him to C.F.S., and he became devoted in Buddhism. His wife ran away from the family short after she was found of gambling, and had great debts. According to Shanji, they got divorced when he found out about her gambling behavior. All his three children were under the age of eighteen at that time. Being too frustrated and desperate, he believed the only thing he could count on was Buddhism. Thus, he had his plan to join the Order. Before he was ordained, he closed his company and sold his house, but he still had about 100, 000 dollars debts. His
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sister agreed to help him out on his debts.
Shanji was ordained in 2002. His three children were still young when he joined the Order, so they moved to live with his parents and younger brother. His sister promised to pay his debts for him, and from my knowledge, she is still paying that now. His two siblings also helped him prepare everything he needed for the ordination. Financially, Shanji’s siblings gave him great support. In addition to their financial helps, their willingness to take care of his children is a kind of psychological support, too. His sister is a volunteer of C.F.S., so they can see each other quite often.
Shanji is with his family, but he did not mention much about his relationship with his kids.
Shanji is with his family, but he did not mention much about his relationship with his kids.