跨場域英語教學與教師職業自我認同感的轉變：以質性個案研究探索一位台灣教師的英語教學經驗 - 政大學術集成

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(1)國立政治大學英國語文學系英語教學碩士在職專班碩士學位論文指導教授：招靜琪博士 Adviser: Chin-chi Chao, Ph.D.. 治政大跨場域英語教學與教師職業自我認同感的轉變：立 ‧ 國. 學. 以質性個案研究探索一位台灣教師的英語教學經驗. ‧. Cross-contextual English Teaching and Shifting Teacher Professional. n. al. Ch. engchi. er. io. Teaching Experiences. sit. y. Nat. Identity: A Qualitative Case Study on a Taiwanese Teacher’s English. i Un. v. 研究生：陳俊宏撰 Name：Jyun-hong Chen 中華民國 109 年 6 月 June, 2020. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(2) 立. 政治大. ‧. ‧ 國. 學. n. er. io. sit. y. Nat. al. Ch. engchi. i Un. v. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(3) Cross-contextual English Teaching and Shifting Teacher Professional Identity: A Qualitative Case Study on a Taiwanese Teacher’s English Teaching Experiences. 政治大. 學. ‧ 國. 立A Master’s Thesis Presented to. ‧. Department of English,. sit. y. Nat. n. al. er. io. National Chengchi University. Ch. engchi. i Un. v. In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Master of Arts. by Jyun-hong Chen June, 2020. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.


(5) To My Dearest Parents, Mr. Ding-Hua Chen and Mrs. Qiu-Yan Lu 獻給我親愛的父母，陳丁華先生和呂秋燕女士. 立. 政治大. ‧. ‧ 國. 學. n. er. io. sit. y. Nat. al. Ch. engchi. i Un. v. iii. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.


(7) ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS My gratitude exceeds literal description to the following people who have supported me along my thesis endeavor. First, I am forever in debt to my thesis advisor, Dr. Chin-chi Chao, for her precise and comprehensive guidance, without which my time of research and writing of this thesis may not turn into this reality. As a novice researcher, it is both a tremendous fortune and a pure honor being her. 政治大. graduate student in ETMA programs to gain research insights and inspirations, and. 立. being a humble advisee for developing this thesis. I also thank the committee. ‧ 國. 學. members, Dr. Chieh-yue Yeh and Dr. Hsin-i Chen, for their honorable attendance, valuable suggestions, and insighful comments on my study.. ‧. Besides, the friendship of two of my ETMA classmates, Emily and Wendy, has. y. Nat. n. al. er. io. their company as an invaluable treasure in my mind.. sit. served as my mental harbor through the course and my study. I will forever cherish. i Un. v. Finally, my family are the home of my soul. The fulfillment of this thesis can. Ch. engchi. not go without them, especially my son, Owen, whose love empowers this busy father watching him being a sleeping infant in my arm, a curious toddler by my side, to now a restless sprinter exploring everywhere.. vi. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.


(9) TABLE OF CONTENTS ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS .......................................................................................... iv CHINESE ABSTRACT ................................................................................................ vi ENGLISH ABSTRACT ...............................................................................................vii CHAPTER ONE: INTRODUCTION............................................................................ 1 Background ............................................................................................................ 1 Purpose of the Study .............................................................................................. 3. 治政大 CHAPTER TWO: LITERATURE REVIEW ................................................................ 5 立 ‧ 國. 學. Professional Identity from Psychological and Social Perspectives ....................... 5 Professional Identity in EFL Contexts ................................................................... 7. ‧. sit. y. Nat. Positioning Theory............................................................................................... 12. n. al. er. io. Davies and Harré’s two positioning features ..................................................... 13. i Un. v. Research Questions of the Study ......................................................................... 14. Ch. engchi. CHAPTER THREE: METHODOLOGY .................................................................... 15 Research Context and Participant ........................................................................ 15 Research context ................................................................................................ 15 Participant .......................................................................................................... 16 Data Collection .................................................................................................... 17 Narratives ........................................................................................................... 17 Interviews........................................................................................................... 18 Informal Conversations ..................................................................................... 18 v DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(10) Class Observations ............................................................................................. 19 Small Group Discussion .................................................................................... 19 Follow-Up Interviews ........................................................................................ 20 Data Analysis ....................................................................................................... 20 Trustworthiness .................................................................................................. 22 CHAPTER FOUR: FINDINGS ................................................................................... 23 Two EFL contexts: Taiwan and China ................................................................. 23 Teaching Practice in Student life (2013): From a Confident Leaner to a Student. 政治大 Motivator ............................................................................................................. 24 立. ‧ 國. 學. Critical Event 1: English learning experience in a kindergarten ....................... 24 Critical Event 2: Her father’s view for education .............................................. 24. ‧. Critical Event 3: Preparing for senior high school entrance exam .................... 25. y. Nat. sit. Critical Event 4: Failed Attempts as a Tutor...................................................... 25. n. al. er. io. Critical Event 5: Being an Intimidated Remedial Class Teacher ...................... 26. Ch. i Un. v. Practicum in School B in 2014: a Fixed Role: Struggling in Being a Test-taking. engchi. Trainer .................................................................................................................. 28 Critical Event 1: Her class observation experiences ......................................... 28 Critical Event 2: Encountering false accusations from a student’s parent ........ 30 Teaching Practice in School C from 2015 to2018: From being herself to an Identity Struggler ................................................................................................. 34 Critical Event 1: Teaching the take-over class .................................................. 34 Critical Event 2: Seeking support from a director and having a new class ....... 35 Critical Event 3: Struggling in interacting among teachers and private life ..... 38 v DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(11) Context-detached Period in 2018: From an Outsider to an Insider ..................... 41 Critical Event 1: Failed attempts at applying for a teaching position ............... 41 Critical Event 2: Returning to be a confident teacher ....................................... 42 Teaching Practice in School D from 2018 to 2019: a Class Facilitator; a Task Receiver; an Active Speaker ................................................................................ 44 Critical Event 1: the co-teaching lesson ............................................................ 44 Critical Event 2: the eighth period lesson .......................................................... 46 Critical Event 3: Hierarchical challenges in handling administrative affairs .... 48. 政治大. Critical Event 4: Discussion among teacher colleagues .................................... 49. 立. Summary .............................................................................................................. 54. ‧ 國. 學. CHAPTER FIVE: DISCUSSION................................................................................ 55. ‧. Having rich and direct interactions with individuals among and across EFL. sit. y. Nat. io. n. al. er. contexts allows the English teacher to positively take on a new identity. ........... 55. i Un. v. Identity Negatively Positioned in Teaching Contexts ......................................... 55. Ch. engchi. Identity Supported by Interaction ........................................................................ 57 Identity Positioned during the Transitional Period .............................................. 59 Having positive interpersonal relationships sustains the English teacher’s willingness to serve and enhances her understanding and performance in an EFL context. ................................................................................................................. 59 CHAPTER SIX: CONCLUSION ................................................................................ 61 Summary of the Study ......................................................................................... 61 v DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(12) Theoretical Implications ...................................................................................... 62 Pedagogical Implications ..................................................................................... 62 Limitations of the Study ...................................................................................... 63 Suggestions for Further Research ........................................................................ 63 Conclusion ........................................................................................................... 64 REFERENCES ............................................................................................................ 65 APPENDIX A .............................................................................................................. 71. 政治大 First Oral Narrative .............................................................................................. 71 立. ‧ 國. 學. Second Oral Narrative ......................................................................................... 72. ‧. The First Interview .............................................................................................. 74. Nat. io. sit. y. Follow-up Interview ............................................................................................ 75. er. APPENDIX B .............................................................................................................. 77. al. n. iv n C Co-teaching Demo Class ..................................................................................... 77 hengchi U Researcher’s Notes. ........................................................................................... 80 The Eighth Period Class ...................................................................................... 81 Researcher’s Notes. ........................................................................................... 84. v DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.



(15) 國立政治大學英國語文學系碩士在職專班碩士論文提要. 論文名稱：跨場域英語教學與教師職業自我認同感的轉變：以質性個案研究探索一位台灣教師的英語教學經驗指導教授：招靜琪教授研究生：陳俊宏論文提要內容：. 政治大業自我認同感的轉變的特質已在諸多研究中揭露，但跨教學地域的特質仍未有全立. 在全球化的影響下，愈多的英語教師已具有跨地域英語教學的特性。雖然職. ‧ 國. 學. 貌。本研究旨在探索一位台灣的英語教師在跨地域狀況中，與他人互動時對於她的職業自我認同感的轉變所造成的衝擊。. ‧. 本研究採用質性個案研究方法。研究參與者為一位台灣教師，具有在中國與. sit. y. Nat. 台灣兩地的國中教學情境中豐富的教學經驗。研究資料是透過兩筆口述、兩筆半. io. al. er. 結構式訪談、兩筆看課紀錄、一場小型團體討論、以及一筆追蹤訪談所收集。訪. v. n. 談大綱包括: (1)英語學習歷程，(2)在台灣與中國教學經驗，(3)受訪者課程觀察， (4)訪談資料。. Ch. engchi. i Un. 研究結果顯示:與各情境中的人有豐富、直接的互動能夠賦予自我認同感正面的轉變，但不足或是間接的互動會造成負面的轉變。結果也顯示出研究參與者正向的自我認同感的轉變會受到與他人共同在面對困難時，所擁有的正向的人際關係所影響。該困難涵蓋: (1)學生的學習目標、(2)教師與家長/教師與學生/教師與教師之間的互動、(3)被情境化的合適英語教師的期待、(4)職業的自我認同感。最後，在理論與教學法的建議方面，期盼本研究能夠提供研究者，教育立法者，以及正規英語教育訓練機構的教員做為參考。關鍵字：跨教學地域、自我認同感、英語教師、定位 vi DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.


(17) ABSTRACT Under the effect of globalization, more English teachers have been capable of teaching across contexts. Though the shifting feature of professional identity has been revealed in many studies, the specific feature across teaching contexts has yet to be fully-explored. The purpose of this study is to explore the impact of interpersonal interaction with other individuals on one Taiwanese English teacher’s shifts of professional identity. This study employs a qualitative case study method. The participant was one. 政治大 in Chinese and Taiwanese teaching contexts. Data were collected through two oral 立. Taiwanese English teacher with rich experience of teaching junior high school students. ‧ 國. 學. narratives, two semi-structured interviews, two class observation records, one small group discussion, and one follow-up interview, including the participant’s: (1) English. ‧. learning history, (2) English teaching experience in Taiwan and China, (3) teaching. y. sit er. io. teaching contexts.. Nat. practice in Taiwan, and (4) reflections and opinions to her identity struggles and the. al. n. iv n C h eshift, contexts empowered a positive identity the lack of interaction or indirect n gwhereas chi U The findings entail that rich, direct interaction with individuals among each. one contributed to a negative transformation. Also, the findings revealed that such positive shift of identity was underlain by positive interpersonal relationships with individuals involved when tackling perceived difficulties, including: students’ learning goals, teacher-student, teacher-parent, teacher-teacher interaction, and contextualized expectation as a suitable English teacher. Finally, theoretical and pedagogical implications are derived to offer useful insights for researchers, educational policy makers, and trainers of English teachers. Key words: identity, positioning, English teacher, cross-contextual English teaching vii DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.


(19) CHAPTER ONE Introduction Background In the recent research interest on Teaching English for Speakers of Other Language (TESOL), a teacher’s professional identity has become a visible focus of investigation (Duff & Uchida, 1997; Pavlenko, 2003; Tsui, 2007; Varghese, 2005).. Considering the. dynamic feature of professional identity, teachers’ self-image in profession is no longer considered being fixed at certain time and space (Coldron & Smith, 1999; Volkmann & Anderson, 1998). Rather, Connelly and Clandinin (1999) conceptualize professional. 政治大. identity as stories that educators draw on to understand their identities and their teaching. 立. practice. Thus, it is necessary to accept the constant evolution of professional identity and. ‧ 國. 學. develop an awareness that identity exists “in multiple storied contexts which a teacher lived and continues to live” (Clandinin & Huber, 2005, p.44).. ‧. This view echoes Norton (2013)’s in that identity is considered to be “multiple,. sit. y. Nat. changing, and a site of struggle” (p. 48). In addition, such struggle is “an ongoing process,. er. io. a constantly evolving phenomenon, and involving both the person and the context”. al. iv n C & Norton, 2017, p. 10). The traditional h enotion i Unative-speakers’ language use can n g cthathonly n. (Beijaard, Meijer & Verloop, 2004, p. 122), and “relational, and constructed” (De Costa. be considered appropriate and thus language teachers should encourage L2 learners to pursue native-like correctness in using L2 has been widely challenged by researchers (Cook, 1992, 1999; Lin, Wang, Akamatsu & Riazi, 2002; Rampton, 1990). According to Golombek and Jordan (2005), the development of teachers’ professional identity should focus on the establishment of teaching legitimacy, for example, non-native speaking teachers who may speak English with a unique accent. In Golombek and Jordan’s (2005) study, two Taiwanese teachers of English studying in a TESOL master’s program in the U.S. claimed that the distinction between native and non-native English teachers is as much important as language as a way to legitimize a 1. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(20) teacher’s professional identity. In other words, the native-like image of white teachers is usually more preferred in newspaper job market, so are the most native speakers of the Spanish and French because of their “whiteness." Thus, Golombek and Jordan suggest teacher training programs to help non-native speakers (NNS) “imagine alternative identities” (p. 513) and to aid them in reaching professional legitimacy by employing various factors such as “more opportunities to integrate questions of identity, curricular objectives, and practice” (p.530). In Taiwan’s English teaching context, Liao (2017) investigated legitimization of teacher’s professional identity, taking the position that the acknowledgement of a teacher’s professional identity, rather than distinguished by the traditional dichotomy of. 政治大. Native English Teachers (NETs) and Non-Native English Teachers (NNETs), is. 立. associated through the manifestation of teaching practices. Namely, besides the need for. ‧ 國. 學. NNETs to strengthen language competence, Liao (2017) also elucidated that what legitimizes NNETs’ professional identity can be their strength in cross-linguistic. ‧. influence naturally molded by mother tongue. Liao’s study reveals that teachers’. Nat. sit. y. professional identity can be legitimized through various teaching practices with the. er. io. influence of teacher’s cross-linguistic background. The study also shows a possibility for. al. n. iv n C learners) and teacher trainers. While NNETs seek English teaching ownership by hen gchi U. teachers to establish socially interactive relationships with ELLs (English-language. contextualizing their teaching identity and by their bilingual competence, teacher professional identity, rather than by pursuing Standard English and target cultures, can be (re)built through social interaction during teaching courses and internship guidance (Vivian, Gurid & Faht, 2017, p. 237). The shifting feature of identity has been found in many studies as language teachers work in various teaching contexts. Besides Taiwan, some Taiwanese teachers are also seen teaching in other English as a Foreign Language (EFL) contexts. For instance, many ELLs in China receive instructions by Taiwanese English 2. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(21) teachers. The parents of these ELLs are from Taiwan, but they work and find residence in China. However, thus far, few studies have explored Taiwanese English teachers’ professional identity shifts in English teaching contexts of China and Taiwan, including how these teachers position their teaching identities among various teaching practices and how they position their professional identities among teacher trainers and ELLs. Drawing upon Davies and Harré’s (1990) positioning theory, the current qualitative study seeks to explore how one English teacher with both Taiwanese and Chinese teaching experiences reflexively positions herself and interactively positions others that have impacts on her professional identity from her workplace interaction in Chinese and. 政治大. Taiwanese teaching contexts. To this end, the researcher follows the view of Davies and. 立. Harré (1990) that a person’s identity can be confronted in “dynamic aspects of encounters”. ‧ 國. 學. (p. 44). Davies and Harré point out that identities are not simply framed by social structures, nor can be given by others, but are negotiated. Numerous encounters of. ‧. positioning give an individual “a starting point for reflecting upon the many different. y. sit. Nat. aspects of social life” (Harré & van Langenhove, 1999, p. 9).. n. al. er. io. Purpose of the Study. i Un. v. The current study wishes to explore the impact of the participant’s interaction with. Ch. engchi. indivuduals from different school contexts on her professional identity shifts as an English teacher having cross-contextual teaching experience. By exploring the struggles of the participant’s professional identity shifts in EFL contexts, this study seeks to provide insights for language teachers’ professional identity.. 3. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(22) 立. 政治大. ‧. ‧ 國. 學. n. er. io. sit. y. Nat. al. Ch. engchi. i Un. v. 4. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(23) CHAPTER TWO Literature Review The following literature review discusses three themes. The first is the conceptualization of professional identity from psychological and social perspectives. The second focuses on the interaction between contextual factors and shifts of professional identity among four EFL contexts. The last is the relationship between positioning theory proposed by Davies and Harré (1990) and the appeals for teachers to establish their professional identity. This study’s theoretical concepts are based on Davies and Harré’s (1990) two positioning features: Reflexive Positioning and Interactive. 政治大. Positioning. These two features are also illustrated in the last theme.. 立. Professional Identity from Psychological and Social Perspectives. ‧ 國. 學. The term “professional identity” has been conceptualized from various angles (Beijaard et al., 2004). Among them, the images of self have been emphasized (Knowles,. ‧. 1992). These images play a major role for teachers to decide on their ways of teaching,. Nat. sit. y. views as a teacher, and attitudes toward their contextual changes (Beijaard et al., 2004).. er. io. In this case, the psychological dimension of teachers’ self-perceived images allows. al. n. iv n C U of social interaction between incorporation of social perspectives h that ecenter n g conhthei effect teachers to create their professional identity. Other researchers also call for the. teachers and other people. For instance, Coldon and Smith (1999) raise the argument that teachers’ professional identity can vary based on different choices that teachers make within social structures. This view, instead of emphasizing the psychological stages of teachers’ identity formation, focuses on a socially constructed view of teachers’ identity struggling to fit in situated contexts through social interaction with other people. From psychological perspectives, the formation of identity needs an individual to constantly ask questions about who they are and who they want to be. It is “an 5. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(24) ongoing process that involves the interpretation and reinterpretation of our experience” (Cooper & Olson, 1996, p. 80). Also, teachers’ professional identity can be dynamic (Beijaard, et al., 2004), as they constantly try to make sense their teaching experiences and the impact on the “self ” (Kelchtermans, 2005). This dynamic feature of professional identity occurs with change of contexts. In other words, teachers’ understanding of their professional identity from teacher training program may be in conflict with the situated identity among their workplaces. One study conducted by Reynold (1996) revealed that the actual teaching experiences of novice teachers were in conflict with those in their teacher training program. The struggle between teachers’ self images and “cultural scripts” among “workplace landscapes” can be views as “an. 政治大. adaptation to the expectations and directives of others and the acquisitions of. 立. pre-determined skills” (p. 75). Although the importance of context as a major factor. ‧ 國. 學. influencing professional identity formation has been emphasized in many studies (Connelly & Clandinin, 1999; Goodson & Cole, 1994), novice teachers may not simply. ‧. adopt one that is described in their understanding from training. According to Raynold. sit. y. Nat. (1996), novice teachers’ adoption of professional identity is an ongoing, developmental. al. er. io. and recursive process in which expectations from other people and teachers’ beliefs about. n. iv n C To extend from the psychological perspective h e n g cfocusing h i Uon the interaction between. themselves constantly interact with each other.. mental struggle and contextual reality, researchers also view professional identity formation as a socially interactive process in which teachers are constantly confronted with the rejection and acceptance to socially-situated roles. Hogg and Abrams (1988) state that the identity formation is one’s socialization to various “social categories” (p. 19). Identity, from social perspectives, is one that requires teachers to interpret its situated meaning and form a self-perceived one through reinterpretation. Cooper and Olson (1996) further echoes with this view, focusing on the dominant factor of socially interactive norm between teachers and other people. By 6. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(25) stating that teacher’s voices are suppressed under a dominant discourse, more understanding to teachers’ struggles in accepting and also rejecting the acculturation of a socially-expected role is needed. On the other hand, Gee (2000) views teachers’ professional identity as a socially-recognized one in which a teacher is accepted with certain power to interact with others in workplaces. In the process of seeking to be recognized, Gee found that teachers’ interpretation and reinterpretation of professional identity among social interaction play a critical role. To echo with Gee, a fixed view of professional identity has been replaced by many field-related researchers into a psychologically and socially constructed one within an ongoing, developmental, and recursive process. Among the process, the meaning is. 政治大. derived from social interaction with other people. Hence, people constantly change their. 立. interpretations of their experiences while living through various contexts (Cooper &. ‧ 國. 學. Olson, 1996). In association with social perspectives that centers on social interaction within situated contexts, factors that influence the transformation of professional identity. ‧. are elucidated in the second part that follows. In the next part, four studies conducted in. Nat. er. io. Professional Identity in EFL Contexts. sit. y. EFL contexts are presented.. al. n. iv n C factors and social interaction contributing h e ntogthecprocess h i Uof identity transformation needs To explore language teachers’ professional identity, the importance of contextual. to be focused. As Varghese (2005) claims, ‘in order to understand language teaching and learning we need to understand teachers; and in order to understand teachers we need a clear sense of the professional, cultural, political, and individual identities which teachers claim or which are assigned to them’ (p. 22). Also, to understand a clear sense of identity transformation, its feature of multiplicity needs to be explored. Wenger (1998) identifies such feature as a nexus of multi membership by which people negotiate their situated identity from various various identity positions. Among the process of negotiation, the influence of 7. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(26) social interaction with other people constantly challenges the teacher’s current identity and allows a new dialectical process to begin. To explore professional identity transformation from the angle of social and contextual interaction, the following section focuses on four EFL contexts. The transformation of teachers’ professional identity is found to have strong interaction with contextual factors within one single EFL context. To begin with, teachers’ understanding of identity from teacher training program is challenged by their critical reflection to teaching purposes. Abednia (2012) explored seven in-service Iranian teachers’ transformation of professional identity. By conducting interviews with them, keeping the researcher’s reflective journals, and recording class discussions, he. 政治大. discovered that these teachers’ professional identity experienced a major shift from. 立. ideological “conformity” and “romanticization” to “critical autonomy” (p. 709). Also,. ‧ 國. 學. their view of English teaching changes from “instrumental” into “educational.” One participant reported in an interview: “We are not bound to accept everything,”. ‧. adding that blindly accepting every institutional regulation can “disempower” her. Nat. sit. y. authority (p. 710). Besides the contextual influence within one EFL context, this sense of. er. io. teaching subjectivity also enables other participants to transform their professional. al. n. iv n C U raise her students’ awareness, one participant identity, h e nadopted g c hani educational. identity while having social interaction with their students and parents. In an attempt to. encouraging her students to take actions to their lives and realize their potential. By exploring the participants’ critical reflection to the regulations and transformation of their view on teaching purposes, the researcher calls for further research on various dimensions of teachers’ identity and teaching performance that may contribute to TESOL (Teaching English for Speakers of Other Language) teacher education. Also, the gap of imagined identity and practiced identity affects the transformation of EFL teachers’ professional identity. Xu (2013) explored the 8. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(27) identity change of four Chinese EFL teachers in the beginning years of teaching in K-12 school. By conducting interviews, collecting participant journals, and observing in classrooms, he discovered that identities change from “cue-based,” “exemplar-based” in the pre-service period into “rule-based,” “schema-based” while teaching. After entering the in-service period, feeling unappreciated and “robbed” from chances to enter teaching competition, one participant’s professional identity was transformed from an imagined “language expert” into a schema-based teacher negatively realizing that in a Chinese institution, “many things,” such as professional connections and personal backgrounds, are more important than teaching ability. Another two participants reported that their time is constantly occupied with. 政治大. workloads and that their efforts received similar lack of acknowledgement from their. 立. directors. As reported by one of these two participants, her director’s only concern was. ‧ 國. 學. whether she followed the school rules. As a “routine performer” (p. 83), her previously imagined spiritual guide identity is transformed into a “rule-based” teacher identity. The. ‧. fourth participant adopted a new identity as a “responsible educator.” Though troubled by. Nat. sit. y. similar stressful workloads, she took up a role model figure who sees herself as an. er. io. educator responsible for her students. Her change of identity from a “cue-based”,. al. iv n C by her change of an imagined pre-service h e nintog acpracticed h i U in-service identity. The ideal of n. imagined learning facilitator into a “schema-based,” responsible educator is influenced. being a learning facilitator is one that requires “wisdom and courage” (p. 84) to carry out. By revealing the transformation of professional identity of four novice EFL teachers in China, Xu (2013) proposes the cognitive enhancement program in teacher education to raise pre-service teachers’ awareness from a more practical view. Also, it has been suggested that teachers’ professional identity transformation should be more associated with socio-cultural factors. Socio-cultural factors can restrict the development of EFL teachers’ professional identity. Chang (2004) explores the impact of political and social-cultural differences in 9. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(28) the English learning experiences of five EFL teachers’ and their students’ in Taiwan. With data collected from interviews, reflection journals, classroom observations, and autobiographies, the study revealed that the participants’ self-perceived identities, such as a non-native EFL teacher, Chinese, Taiwanese, being from the middle-class of the society, contribute to their views of teaching contexts. Owing to the social-cultural differences, the participants reported an increasing gap between curriculum demands and students’ needs. The lack of multicultural text materials limited the teaching performance of the participants, who accordingly applied grammar-translation teaching approaches. Also, the social-cultural atmosphere at the time, when Mandarin was viewed as a dominant language to Taiwanese society, hindered EFL teachers from developing. 政治大. themselves into a more socially and culturally involved professional identity. In addition,. 立. this study reveals that the participants’ experiences and beliefs about English learning. ‧ 國. 學. affect their English teaching practices. By arguing that identity does not “exist before the social world (Chang, 2004, p. 3)”, a social-culturally embedded professional identity and. ‧. more culturally-involved text materials are proposed.. Nat. sit. y. The aforementioned studies have presented that the shifts or fixations in EFL. al. er. io. teachers’ professional identity can emerge from social-cultural atmosphere, institutional. n. iv n C Besides these contextual factors in h EFL transformation of teachers’ i U e ncontexts, g c hthe. regulations, and critical reflection on teaching purposes.. professional identity can also occur to EFL teachers with cross-contextual backgrounds. Le (2012) conducts a qualitative study exploring professional identity and teaching practices of a group of Vietnamese teachers after their MA TESOL (Teaching English for Speakers of Other Language) education in Australia. Having two identities as learners in Australia and teachers in Vietnam, this group of Vietnamese EFL teachers experienced re-interpretation of Western ideology, negotiation between educational backgrounds and their teaching practice, localization of pedagogy for facilitating compatible communicative language teaching environment, and 10. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(29) reconceptulization of professional identity. Before going to Australia, their concept for English teaching career in an EFL context, according to one of the participants is “very simple like teaching math or physics or any subjects.” However, his view of professional identity is negotiated by Western English teaching ideology emphasizing the communicative function that “links people to people” (p. 166). By adopting his cross-contextual knowledge of English learning and teaching, this participant shows a strong appeal to facilitate authentic communication, rather than being the previously self-perceived role of a subject teacher in Vietnamese EFL context. The influence of having social interaction with students on language teachers’. 政治大. professional identity is displayed as another participant reported that her cross-cultural. 立. background contributes to the transformation of attitude while interacting with students.. ‧ 國. 學. Before studying in Australia, she tends to be impatient with shy students. While studying in Australia, she receives instructions from teachers who “always listened to me patiently”. ‧. (p. 169). She also reported in her reflective journal that she learns much from the attitude. Nat. sit. y. to deal with students.. er. io. Observing this shift of attitude from product-oriented to process-oriented pedagogy,. al. n. iv n C facilitator, Le (2012) states that thesehparticipants i U a socially-constructed e n g c hexperience together with the shift of teaching roles from a subject teacher to a communication. transformation process of their professional identity. Also, the process is recursive, in which the participants critically reflected on the Western theory gained from the learning experience in Australia, and “used it as a basis to look more deeply at their professional self ” (p. 174). Among the process of professional identity shift, the factors of situated contexts and social interaction with other individuals play an important role, as one participant expresses her confidence in establishing her English competence while learning in Australia. While in Australia, she noticed that TESOL professionals are from the world 11. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(30) and carry their accents. This finding boosted her confidence in establishing her professional identity. By actively rejecting in pursuing the pre-conceived native-speaker norm, she encourages her students in Vietnam to accept their accent and to focus more on pronunciation to attain better interpersonal understanding. By exploring and revealing the influence of cross-contextual factors on the participants’ identity, Le (2012) presents a dialectical, culturally compatible professional identity that is both driven by Western ideology and local contexts. Also, I found interaction with other individuals plays a part in identity shifts. Thus, this study draws positioning theory to focus on how a Taiwanese English teacher position herself and is positioned by others among her EFL contexts.. Positioning Theory. 政治大. The study seeks to interprete the dialectical features of identity discussed in the. 立. previous section with Davies and Harré’s (1990) Positioning Theory, which is defined as. ‧ 國. 學. “the study of local moral orders as ever-shifting patterns of mutual and contestable rights and obligations of speaking and acting” (Harré & van Langenhove,. ‧. 1999, p. 1). Namely, an English teacher’s professional identity can be shaped by other. Nat. sit. y. people’s views, and at the same time reshaped by self-perceived authority in teaching. er. io. practices. Hollway (1984) defines positioning as “a metaphorical term originally. al. iv n C U discursive feature in shaping teachers’ identity conscious and h e nmay h i teachers’ g caffect n. introduced to analyze interpersonal encounters from a discursive viewpoint” The. subconscious choice of professional images in the workplace. Yoon (2008) states that such situated patterns of interaction between people’s speech and action enables researchers to comprehend the interplay between the constant evolution of social interaction and the various performance of an individual’s professional identity. Previous views of professional identity have shared a socially interactive feature. Also, the concept of positioning has been applied to identify the social impact on teachers’ professional performance (Kano & Norton, 2003). Thus, this study draws on positioning theory as the theoretical framework, seeking to explore the 12. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(31) interrelationship between the participant’s shifts in identity and her social interaction with others. Davies and Harré’s two positioning features In the positioning theory, how an individual interprets ones’ position and how others perceive him/her becomes the core of the identity formation. Davies and Harré (1990) defines the self-perceived positioning as “reflexive positioning in which one positions oneself” (p. 48). This self-positioning, according to their perspective, channels their actions and thoughts in a certain context. Considering the self-guided feature of self-positioning, Yoon (2008) states further that an individual is empowered in “a way of expressing one’s stance” (p. 499). In the. 政治大. case of English teaching, teachers’ pedagogical design among classrooms and. 立. conversational patterns in the workplace may experience a constant cycle of reflecting on. ‧ 國. 學. the current status the and forming a new self image that the teacher deems superior. On the other hand, Davies and Harré (1990) also proposes interactive positioning,. ‧. “in which what one person says positions another” (p. 48). Interactive positioning. sit. y. Nat. provides details for the changes of one’s position to adjust to contextual variations (Yoon,. er. io. 2008). With the ability to reshape one’s identity, interactive positioning may empower an. n. al. v. English teacher to develop professional flexibility in pedagogical designs and adaptability. i n C U to institutional demands. On the contrary, hengchi. Harré and Moghaddam (2003) state that negatively positioning others may hinder their performance in cognition. In this case, teachers’ professional performance, if “positioned as incompetent in a certain field” (Harré & van Langenhove, 1999, p. 1), may also decline. With the theoretical perspectives, this study seeks to identify the occasions in which the participant takes her self-positioning stance by expressing her identity, and to explore the experience of her attempts in adjusting to new professional identity in her English teaching contexts. Contextual factors in EFL contexts influence the transformation of teachers’ 13. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(32) professional identity. Also, cross-contextual factors enable identity negotiation between the Western ideology and the localized compatibility, as it has been revealed, in Le’s (2012) study, by teachers who receive education in Australia and teach English in Vietnamese EFL context. However, from the 4 studies that explored English teacher’s professional identity shifts from the imagined to practiced ones among the Iranian, Chinese, Taiwanese and Vietnamese EFL contexts respectively, I found that the identity shifts of teachers with cross-contextual teaching experiences should be explored further. Considering the fact that many language teachers are working across various contexts and are encountering both contextual and cross-contextual factors, a fuller picture to language teachers’ professional identity is needed.. 治政大 Research Questions of the Study 立. Focusing on one teacher who has teaching experiences in Taiwan and China, this. ‧ 國. 學. study is guided by the following three questions.. 1. What are some critical events indicating the participant’s shifts in professional identity. ‧. in the different school contexts?. sit. y. Nat. 2. How does the participant position herself as an English teacher when she deals with difficulties and challenges in the two contexts?. io. n. al. er. 3. What insights can be derived from the participant’s cross-contextual teaching experiences for language teacher professional identity?. Ch. engchi. i Un. v. 14. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(33) CHAPTER THREE Methodology This study is a qualitative case study, representing “an empirical inquiry that investigates a contemporary phenomenon within its real-life context, especially when the boundaries between phenomenon and context are not clearly evident ”(Yin, 1984, p. 23). In order to develop an in-depth understanding of the case, the sources of evidence need to be rich, the collection of data to follow a clear procedure, and the analysis of data to refer to the previous theoretical underpinnings (Yin, 20003a). The following sections present details for methodology: the participant, the background and context of the research , data. 政治大. collection and the procedure of data analysis.. 立. Research Context and Participant. ‧ 國. 學. Research context. ‧. The differences of contextual factors between different school contexts in China and Taiwan constantly challenge Kay’s professional knowledge and identity. For the Chinese. y. Nat. io. sit. school where students study and live together as a boarding school, an expanded social. n. al. er. culture interaction was perceived evident between her and her students, parents, and. i Un. v. supervisors, whereas the norm of teacher-student and teacher-parent interaction in Taiwan. Ch. engchi. was found to be more centered on students’ academic performance in English learning. On the other hand, the evaluation of students’ learning performance varies, having to follow dissimilar institutional policies. To be specific, though students from both sides are all encouraged to pursue better academic performance for entering ideal high schools, junior students in the specific Chinese school are more inclined to ascend directly to the high school under the same school system, contributing to a less-stressed and more flexible English-learning environment. In addition, the support from the participant in 15. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(34) helping students learn English in these two contexts was also found to be dissimilar. Whereas Taiwanese junior high school students were seen going to cram schools for further learning, most of her students in China relied on her remedial classes and supervision after school. During informal conversations about her experience teaching in the school in China with the researcher, to be more specific, she expresses her passion for designing lessons, teaching students after school, and maintaining close teacher-parent relationships. Being aware of her struggles in both teaching practices and her professional identity in Taiwanese or Chinese schools, she was eager to explore more possibilities in her teaching practice. This study seeks to explore to what extent Kay’s experience of interaction with. 政治大. individuals in China and Taiwan stands behind her shift of professional identity. Kay was. 立. selected particularly to be the participant of this case study because of her unique. ‧ 國. 學. cross-contextual teaching experience which allows her to position and reposition her teaching identity through constant interactions with institutions, teacher colleagues,. ‧. parents, students from both sides.. io. sit. y. Nat. Participant. n. al. er. Kay (pseudonym) is a thirty-year-old Taiwanese English teacher. Growing up with a. i Un. v. continuous interest and passion in learning English, she in college chose her major to be. Ch. engchi. English teaching, with a dream that she would pass on her knowledge and love in English learning to students. During her college time, she had some English tutoring experience. In 2013, she taught English in a remedial class in a Taiwanese junior high school (School A). In 2014, during her practicum time, she taught in another Taiwanese junior high school (School B). After that, she chose to teach students in a China-based Taiwanese boarding school (School C). Since then, she taught in China for three years (2015-2018). After that, she went back to Taiwan to teach English in a junior high school (School D). Table 3.1 below provides a clear picture of the participant’s English teaching history. 16. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(35) Table 3.1 The Participant’s English Teaching History Years. Teaching Context. School. Tutor. School A:. Teaching a remedial class. a Taiwanese junior high school. 2013 School B: 2014. Practicum a Taiwanese junior high school School C: a Taiwanese boarding. 2015-2018. Teaching in China school in China. 2018-2019. School D: 治政 a Taiwanese 大 junior high school. Teaching in Taiwan. 立. ‧ 國. 學. I became acquainted with her in a graduate class at a national university in Taiwan. Among one of the courses, we teamed up with each other, focusing on an assignment that. ‧. explored teachers’ identity. During several in-class discussions and after-class chatting, I. y. Nat. al. n. Data Collection. Ch. engchi. er. io. expand the course project into my M.A. thesis.. sit. found her struggles in the two EFL contexts interesting and insightful and decided to. i Un. v. Six qualitative data sources, including oral narratives, interviews , informal conversations, class observations, a focus group discussion, and follow-up interviews were adopted. The justification for the usage of these five data resources is presented in the following sections. Narratives Life-history documents, which Bruner (1987) regards as “optimum resources” for people to give meanings to experiences in their lives, are recorded while participants tell their stories at will. For the purpose of documenting Kay’s self-perceived positioning and 17. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(36) the impact of cross-contextual English teaching experiences in constructing her professional identity, oral narratives were the first focus (see Appendix 1&2). Before conducting this study, two oral narratives had been collected through a course assignment for the graduate class. One is for a holistic understanding of her English learning history. The second centers on Kay’s English teaching experience in cross-contextual contexts. Interviews Interviews have served as an eliciting device for many qualitative studies through which researchers have a clear picture of the nature of participants’ behaviors,. 政治大 flexibility for the researcher to “probe and expand the interviewee’s response ” (Rubin 立. experiences, and understanding in their lives (Kvale, 1996; Yin, 2003). On account of its. and Rubin, 2005, p.88), this study adopted the semi-structured interview. There were. ‧ 國. 學. three semi-structured interviews in this study. Two of them (see Appendix 3&4) were. ‧. conducted as part of an assignment of a graduate school course. The other (see Appendix 7) was a follow-up interview conducted after class-observation. Each interview lasted for. io. sit. y. Nat. about one hour. The. n. al. er. location for the interviews was a coffee shop, an environment with less interference. The. i Un. v. location for the follow-up interview was at the participant’s office at her workplace.. Ch. engchi. Language for all interviews was primarily Chinese with occasional usage of English. Informal Conversations Informal conversations were collected between Kay and I on LINE, one of the much welcomed social networking apps in Taiwan, and also between classes while both of us attending the graduate school. We usually shared our perspectives as language teachers and our experiences in various English teaching contexts. During these conversations, Kay shares how she feels as an English teacher both in China and in Taiwan. Given that these conversations usually serve as a starter for further interview 18. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(37) arrangement, the data gathered benefited the study in terms of gaining detailed and deeper information by further conducting data collection approaches. Also, the exact date for class observations and the focus group discussion was also expected to be confirmed between the institution, group members, the participant and the researcher of the current study by maintaning contact through informal conversations. It’s also perhaps noteworthy to mention that the rapport established between the participant and the researcher can not be developed without these conversations. Class Observations For the purpose of understanding the interaction that Kay has with her current. 政治大 the other was at the eighth period (the eighth period students can voluntarily enroll in) in 立 students, the researcher observed two of her classes: one was a co-teaching class, while. her school in Taipei, Taiwan. While observing the co-teaching class, the researcher. ‧ 國. 學. focused on her verbal exchanges with the native co-teacher and students among teaching. ‧. practices (see Appendix 5 & 6). As for the eighth period, her unique teacher-student interaction underlying her teaching practice was also observed. In. y. Nat. n. al. er. io. informal conversations.. sit. these two classes, the researcher also attempted to triangulate Kay’s comments during. Small Group Discussion. Ch. engchi. i Un. v. To induce multiple and interactive perspectives from class observation, I happened to join a small group discussion. It was conducted with the 6 members, including two EFL teacher trainers, the native co-teacher, a retired Taiwanese English teacher, the participant of the present study and the researcher of this study. In this small group discussion, all members observed the co-teahching class and agreed to join the discussion for sharing their opinions to the class. One of the two teacher trainers volunteered to be the moderator, leading the discussion by inviting each member to share comments and also help translate and summarize them into English for the other trainer, a native speaker. 19. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(38) Data were recorded with a recording device and transcribed afterward. After the discussion, all members stayed briefly for lunch, exchanging teaching experience gained from each specific context. By including the data from the small group discussion, it is believed that the data collected richer, the topics discussed deeper, and the interactive feedback more beneficial for data triangulation. Follow-Up Interviews After observation, I invited Kay, the participant of the present study, to engage in follow-up interviews. During the follow-up interviews, she was expected to share her. 政治大 way of justifying her English teaching identity. By so doing, her observed 立. reasons for adopting her teaching practices, her interactions with students, and for her. teaching performance can be compared with her reported practices and self-perceived. ‧ 國. ‧. Data Analysis. 學. professional identity.. sit. y. Nat. First of all, all interview data were transcribed. Drawn upon Davies and Harré. io. er. (1990)’s two features of positioning: Interactive Positioning and Reflexive Positioning (Davies & Harré, 1990), two coding schemes, the teaching roles positioned by the. n. al. Ch. i Un. v. participant herself and by other individuals involved in the critical events, were adopted. engchi. to analyze data. The holistic-content approach proposed by Lieblich et al. (1998) was applied. Three stages of the data analysis procedure were involved and are presented in Figure 3.1 and discussed below.. 20. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(39) Stage1: identifying critical events. Stage 3: identifying her interaction with individuals. Stage 2: sorting identity positioned. Figure 3.1 Three Data Analysis Stages. 政治大 To gain a comprehensive picture of the data, to begin with, the holistic-content 立. Stage 1: identifying critical events. approach was employed. I began to read through the transcripts for times to obtain more. ‧ 國. 學. understanding the data. Critical events that revealed her identity were sorted out and put. ‧. into the first stage. The definition of critical events of the study follows Webster and. Nat. io. sit. level of criticality becomes evident as the story is told.” (p. 83). n. er. Stage 2: sorting identity positioned. al. y. Mertova’s (2007) view that they “are identified through the impact on the storyteller. The. i Un. v. Next, to analyze the participant’s expected and self-perceived identity, I applied the. Ch. engchi. two coding schemes to analyze the interactive professional identity and self-perceived professional identity. While I was reading, how the participant positioned her identity and how her identity was positioned by others guided my thinking. Then, I took notes on the margin of the transcripts. These notes, thinking basically along the line of my research questions, included my initial impression to the documented critical events and identity-associated insights. This time, words or concepts that fit the schemes were highlighted and put together into the second stage for further analyzing. 21. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(40) Stage 3: identifying her interaction with individuals At the third stage of the analysis, I focused on the impact of the participant’s interaction with individuals among the critical events on her shift of professional identity. The relevant data were put into the third column. After I analyzed all the transcripts, I went through all the notes in my columns and read again the corresponded transcripts with discretion. During the final stage of the data analysis, the research questions were addressed. The entire research analysis were conducted iteratively and reflexively. Namely, before conducting further analysis, I reviewed results from the previous analytic stages to carry on further interpretation . Trustworthiness. 立. 政治大. Trustworthiness of this study was guarded by two measures. First of all, this study. ‧ 國. 學. employed multiple data collecting methods, including oral narratives, semi-structured in-depth interviews, class observations, a small group discussion, and follow-up. ‧. semi-structured in-depth interviews. Second, member checking was adopted. When the. Nat. sit. y. audio data were transcribed by the researcher into written forms, the participant was. n. al. with the researcher in LINE, a social-networking app.. Ch. engchi. er. io. inviteded to check the accuracy of the transcribed content by having on-line discussions. i Un. v. 22. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(41) CHAPTER FOUR Findings To address the first research question, this chapter focuses on the critical events that Kay encountered along with the shifts of her English teaching identity. These identity shifts are presented in chronological order, from her teaching practice in student life, practicum in School B, English teaching experience in School C in China, transitional period from China to Taiwan (the context-detetched period), to her current English teaching practices back in Taiwan (School D).. Two EFL contexts: Taiwan and China. 政治大. To present a clear picture, this section reported the similarities and differences of. 立. two EFL contexts the participant had served in. First, Taiwanese junior high school. ‧ 國. 學. students in general were expected to have a satisfactory test performance for their high school entrance test. Also, junior high schools in Taiwan had difficulty recruiting enough. ‧. students, whose number was getting lower due to the lowe birth rate. In this situation,. Nat. sit er. io. competition.. y. Taiwanese English teachers were found to face more workload, and more workplace. al. n. iv n C U meet the learning needs of the children This school had both h eofnTaiwanese g c h i businessmen.. On the other hand, School C in China was a boarding school that was established to. junior high and senior high schools, so students, though still had to take the High-school Entrance Exam as regulated in the educational policies, did not have as much academic stress as Taiwanese students. Also, teachers in School C were found to have limited teaching resources in China, due to the fact that School C also used Taiwanese teaching materials and that in China it was difficult to search online for relevant materials to aid teaching. Kay’s teaching identity shifts started with her struggles to identify herself with expected roles that people viewed for a so-called “good English teacher.” The 23. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(42) following events, starting with those in Kay’s student life, revealed her identity shifts through interpersonal interaction.. Teaching Practice in Student life (2013): From a Confident Leaner to a Student Motivator Critical Event 1: English learning experience in a kindergarten Kay’s interest in English learning started early in a kindergarten class. She stated in the interview what it was like being a small child looking at her teacher and classmates: The teacher sat herself on the desk, holding something like a book and telling them (students) stories. Suddenly she asked: “Do you still remember how to say bird in. 政治大. English?” My classmates just looked at her with absent-minded faces. I wondered to. 立. myself, “Wasn’t it the word that she just taught us yesterday?” I stepped forward,. ‧ 國. 學. saying, “bird!” In response, she (the teacher) just looked at me with a rather surprising expression. It was at that very moment when I thought I was better than. ‧. other people. I thought to myself, “Well, people are kind of dumb, forgetting what. y. sit er. io. (7/31/2018). Nat. the teacher just told us.” Then I began to feel that I was quite fond of this [English].. al. iv n C boosted her self-confidence, sustaining her h einterest i U English from then on. n g cinhlearning n. Kay’s sudden participation in class and the immediate reaction from the teacher. Critical Event 2: Her father’s view for education Later, her father’s conservative view of English learning led her to view school education and tests as the major stimulator for her English learning. She mentioned, Our family tend to be more conservative in terms of education, so he [my father] wouldn’t pay for extra English courses. Later, my homework got. 24. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(43) more loaded. It’s impossible to engage in those activities [classroom games]. So I just pushed myself to study English through tests. I learned English all through tests given by school. (7/31/2018) Critical Event 3: Preparing for senior high school entrance exam Her motivation in following school test demands, in combination with her confidence and interest in English learning, allowed her to study English without going to activity-based English cram schools. On the other hand, in describing her initial experience in learning in grammar-focused cram schools, she also mentioned, Two weeks into the course, I felt that the cram school did nothing but cramming. 政治大 needed to deal with senior high school entrance exam. I didn’t like it. No speaking. 立 grammar because he [the cram school teacher] felt that, as ninth graders, we. Just grammar. I felt very irritated, so I quit all the courses there. After that, I. ‧ 國. 學. didn’t go to any cram school. Basically I did not attend any cram school English. ‧. classes ever since. I learned English by myself. (7/31/2018). In summary, Kay basically relied on school English courses to develop her English. y. Nat. io. sit. proficiency. She refused to attend cram school like her sisters. Even though her scores. n. al. er. might not be high, she had confidence in herself and her English performance.. Ch. Critical Event 4: Failed Attempts as a Tutor. engchi. i Un. v. Kay’s English learning interest was boosted since childhood, allowing her to successfully gain admission to a college in Taipei where she majored in Foreign Languages. In her second year of college, her good English brought her a tutoring opportunity. Although this one-on-one teaching experience did not go as well as she had expected, the inspiration she gained from this experience made her get into English teaching, with the purpose to bring out the learning interest of her tutee. I became a tutor in the second year of college. I thought teaching was interesting at the time; I could think about how I was going to teach in order to make my 25. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(44) students understand. So I spent a lot of time thinking about and designing my teaching, and I thought I was quite capable in this area. I don’t mean to brag about myself or show off. Rather, I thought I was willing to learn, and I would put whatever I learned into teaching. I was quite adaptive, and I learned fast, always having lots of ideas. So, it was the tutoring job in my sophomore year that allowed me to discover my interest in teaching. (7/31/2018) Interestingly, she did not think her teaching in English was successful at this time, although it did trigger her interest in taking teacher education courses and studying hard to become a teacher. She said,. 政治大. Oh! I have to say this first: I was actually teaching math, and English was just an. 立. additional subject that I was asked to teach. What was really hilarious was that my. ‧ 國. 學. tutee became really interested in math with my teaching. As for English, [no matter what I did as a teacher], he was still not interested. I thought this could be. ‧. the biggest failure of my career. I made up my mind to take teacher education. Nat. sit. n. al. er. io. else. (7/31/2018). y. courses, studying very hard and treating the courses more important than anything. i Un. v. Critical Event 5: Being an Intimidated Remedial Class Teacher. Ch. engchi. From the tutoring experience, Kay’s motivated, school-centered identity as an English learner was transferred into one that attempted to motivate the students and raise the learning interests of her students. Also, the role of school education in her student’s life is found to be important for reflection later in her identity struggles as an English teacher. For instance, her English teaching identity was challenged by the first class, a remedial that she taught in School A:. 26. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(45) When I stepped into the remedial class, I saw some athletic students, along with other students. I still can’t forget my feelings. They looked at me like saying: “Let’s see what tricks you are capable of playing.” And it was very painful going to their class, because they didn’t really interact with you. And you can see that their English, though all very poor, had some gaps [in their English proficiency]. Some can’t even pronounce the words. Others can read textbook lessons and memorize words. For a novice teacher, teaching in a remedial class is actually a big challenge. (8/6/2018) The experience of teaching English in the remedial class challenged her original teaching goal. Rather than motivating students, in this remedial class with low-achievers,. 政治大. she needed to start with pronunciation and vocabulary memorization. With the lack of. 立. teacher-student interaction and the emphasis on. ‧ 國. 學. teaching to meet the basic requirements, this experience was “painful,” particularly when students regarded all of her teaching designs as “tricks.” However, gradually the feedback. ‧. she received from them was surprisingly good. In describing students’ feedback, she said,. sit. y. Nat. And then, every time … on the feedback sheet, they [the students] would write to. er. io. me something very positive, saying, “Teacher, thank you. You make me feel that. al. iv n C English more now.” Or, “I think h ethat i UEnglish in the future.” These n gI will c hlearn n. my English is quite good.” “I don’t really hate English that much now.” “I like. kinds of feedback made me know that my teaching was effective. I had the ability to change the students’ views of English. Because of such comments, I persisted more and decided to stay on this path. (7/31/2018) The students’ feedback, along with the faith that she could change the students’ views for English learning in School A, showed that her teaching was successful. Originally taken as one that serves to motivate students’ learning interests, her goal after the remedial class event shifted into plurals that combine interests with effectiveness. Table 4.1 shows a clear picture of the sorted data in this period. 27. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(46) Table 4.1 Teaching Practice in Student life in 2013 Interaction with Critical Events. Identity Positioned Individuals Positive:. Tutoring Experience. Confidence in learning=>. Direct (tutee). Motivating Students Negative: “painful”. Lack (students). “didn’t really interact. Remedial class in School A. 立. Indirect (students) 治政 with you…” 大 => Positive interaction => Continued career. 學. ‧ 國. Positive: written feedback. ‧. Practicum in School B in 2014: a Fixed Role: Struggling in Being a. al. er. io. sit. y. Nat. Test-taking Trainer. n. After School A, the path of English teaching was then taken with strong confidence.. Ch. i Un. v. However, in the subsequent events occurring in School B, where she began her. engchi. educational internship, the contextualized expectation for a qualified English teacher had brought doubts and struggles not only to her teaching beliefs but also her self-perceived value of existence. Critical Event 1: Her class observation experiences To begin with, in School B, where she had to learn from other senior teachers in class observations and teacher-student interaction, the first event that. 28. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(47) foreshadowed her identity struggle was dealing with the teaching methods of a senior English teacher in whose class she observed. In describing her class-observation experience, she said, During the internship, I was a little influenced by the English teacher at school (school B). She was very traditional. Her way of teaching was very traditional. What made her interesting was that she taught in a way that students understand. Although very traditional, her students liked to be in her class. She taught with exaggerated gestures… The second reason was that she would share simple life episodes with the students. (8/6/2018) The traditional and easy-to-understand way of teaching, as well as life-experience. 政治大. sharing and lively gestures, were found to be useful and also effective in winning. 立. students’ favor, although Kay’s negative recognition for the method was revealed through. ‧ 國. 學. her comment, “still very traditional.” On the other hand, the class management skills of another teacher in School B had positively impressed her. She said,. ‧. It happened that he was a teacher who talked with logic and art. After all, he. Nat. sit. y. taught Chinese. And then what made him awesome was that the things he said. er. io. were reasonable. I still remember he told me that students will give in to you if. al. n. iv n C saw him spending at least half hour lecturing h an en g c h i Uhis students. Wow, the logic. your speech is logical. I think he was making a good point. There was a time I. behind was very well-planned! I really learned a lot from this. (8/6/2018) The teacher’s class management skills taught Kay to be “reasonable,” also with “logic,” so that students will “give in” to her. To this end, the negative view for traditional teaching method, and the positive effect of the logical management style, had synthesized into the following reflection. She reported, During this time (School B), I think what I learned the most was that people wouldn’t care about the way I taught, as long as I could manage a class well. So I think my way of teaching, though I did try to do some activities, was 29. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.

(48) greatly affected by the (English) teacher. I taught in a very traditional way. I mean in the grammar part. Still very traditional. (8/6/2018) Kay’s self-criticism on her way of teaching in School B was found to be consistent with her previous wish that sought innovative teaching designs to motivate students. In School B, she considered winning the favor of the students, whether in terms of teaching practice or class management, as the top priority to the degree that “people wouldn’t care about the way I teach as long as I can manage a class well.” While reflecting upon her inner conflict between her idealistic and the traditional way of teaching that she observed in this stage, she said, Up to the second semester in School B, I somehow began to doubt myself: Is my. 政治大. teaching supposed to be just like this? I had observed many teachers’ classes at. 立. the time. But observation is just observation. They….because School B was a. ‧ 國. 學. school that sees students’ academic performance as the top priority, I still felt that I didn’t learn anything new. I had been teaching my. ‧. students in a standardized way. My own thought was like this: So grammar. sit. y. Nat. translation was not all bad, but I just wasn’t satisfied. Then I was wondering. er. io. if I just really, really ended up becoming a teacher like this [the teacher being. al. n. iv n C The lack of pedagogical improvement h ewas n gfound c htoi beUthe main source of identity observed]. (8/6/2018). struggle. Also, class observations were found to be “just observation,” with Kay recognizing that the teaching context in School B was for pushing students for higher education. Critical Event 2: Encountering false accusations from a student’s parent With this identity struggle between being a test-taking trainer and student motivator, the following event, dealing with teacher-student, teacher-parent interaction was also found to be critical for her next identity shift. 30. DOI:10.6814/NCCU202000991.